Bizarre…
The atmosphere at that dining table was nothing short of exquisitely bizarre.
At the head of the table, the tall, striking man cradled the petite, adorable young succubus in his arms, meticulously carving the beef steak into bite-sized pieces and feeding them to him one by one. In his arms, the little succubus chewed with puffed-out cheeks, occasionally acting coquettishly to demand a sip of water directly from the man’s hand.
To the man’s left, the sunglasses-wearing, blue-haired demon buried his face in a frantic mission of gluttony, cramming whatever came to hand into his mouth while frantically attempting to haul a decorative flower vase from the table center to shield himself from view.
Directly opposite him, the tall, flamboyant succubus sipped casually from a crystal goblet of red wine, his lithe tongue darting out to lick away a stray droplet clinging to his lips while his playful, teasing gaze remained mercilessly glued to the blue-haired demon.
“Are you finished?” Xavier fed the final morsel of meat into Huey’s mouth, casually pressing a hand against his soft, rounded belly.
Mhm, nicely rounded.
“I’m full.” Obediently lifting his face, Huey let the man wipe clean the corners of his mouth. “I want some water.”
A glass of warm water was proffered to the young succubus’s lips, where he pouted slightly and sipped it down in slow, measured swallows.
“Heh.” A melodic, highly seductive chuckle broke the silence as Herman leaned forward, shoving the centerpiece vase aside to murmur, “Lord Frank, have you had your fill?”
Reaching out, Herman tapped against Frank’s dining plate with a finger, laughing, “If I recall correctly, a man in your condition… shouldn’t quite be partaking in dishes quite this spicy right now, hmm?”
Catching the remark, Huey squinted down to inspect the plate, noting that it had indeed been wiped completely clean of an intensely spiced dish.
“Can Frank not eat spicy food?” Huey leaned in close to whisper in Xavier’s ear, receiving a negative shake of the head in response.
Pfft
Having stuffed his mouth with far too much food in a panic, Frank choked and immediately began chugging water to clear his throat. Hearing the query, he accidentally spat a mouthful of water right across the table; had Herman not dodged with lightning reflexes, he would have copped a full facial of water spray.
“Ew.” Frowning in distaste, Huey shrank back closer into Xavier’s embrace. “Adult, your butler seems a bit…”
Searching for an appropriately polite descriptor, the little succubus offered mildly, “…rather feral in his table manners.”
“Look at you.” Producing a lace handkerchief from thin air, Herman drawled with a flirtatious, mocking glint in his eye as he reached across toward Frank’s face. “Such a grown man, and you still can’t even eat without making a mess.”
“Slap!”
Frank batted Herman’s hand away viciously, glaring daggers through his dark shades though the tinted lenses obscured his eyes, the murderous aura radiating from him practically saturated the entire room.
“Get the hell out of here!”
Usually the picture of cool-headed reason, the chief assistant to the Grand Archangel had been pushed to the point of slamming his fists against the table, completely abandoning all remaining pretenses of dignity.
“Whoa there,” Huey whispered, poking his head out to murmur conspiratorially to Xavier. “Just what on earth transpired between those two? I am dying of curiosity.”
Failing to dodge the batted hand, Herman let out a low scoff. “What’s this? You sleep with me last night, and today you’re trying to pretend you don’t know me?”
“Whoa!” Huey gasped aloud in sheer admiration. “Good grief, Herman, your pacing is lightning fast! You truly are a thoroughly competent succubus!”
“Shut your trap!” Flushed beet-red with mortification, Frank roared a furious reprimand at Herman before spinning around to direct a desperate, pleading glare toward his superior, crying out, “My lord! Could I implore you to take Huey and depart from this room immediately?”
“Oh? Are you attempting to chase us away?” Straightening his posture, Huey angled for a front-row seat to the unfolding drama. “Don’t be like that, Frank. You’re clearly experiencing a genuine romance dilemma; perhaps we can offer some helpful guidance.”
“Your departure and the lord’s retreat to your chambers would constitute the single greatest guidance you could ever bestow upon me!” Frank wailed.
With an eager little succubus clamoring for entertainment on one side and a deeply distressed, frantic assistant on the other, Xavier paused for a fraction of a second before glancing down to ask bluntly, “Do you wish to remain here?”
Heavens above! Behind his dark glasses, Frank rolled his eyes so hard it physically hurt. May the Light God bear witness could someone please revert my superior back to his former, emotionally detached, ice-cold self?
“Let’s pass.” Shaking his head, Huey deemed himself a remarkably considerate, well-behaved little succubus. “I imagine they require a measure of private space to properly work through their emotional entanglements.”
Wrapping his arms securely around Xavier’s neck, he pressed affectionately against him. “I heard the local night market here features marvelous, exquisite jewelry stalls. Would my lord be willing to accompany me for a stroll~?”
“Gladly.” Lifting the succubus in his arms, Xavier stood up.
Right as he was turning to stride out of the hall, the Grand Archangel paused, fixing his subordinate with a long, unreadable stare before offering a slow, measured observation: “Frank, as you are well aware, our homeland imposes no strict prohibition against romance.”
“Even if loving someone is permissible!” Frank pointed an accusing finger straight at Herman and bellowed, “I would never not in a million years fall in love with this accursed succubus!”
At the declaration, Huey shot him an indignant glare. “Hey now, what is that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with us succubi? Countless beings throughout the Underworld would kill for the chance to romance us!”
Even Xavier cast a look of quiet disapproval in his direction. “Frank, one ought not to speak with such sweeping prejudice.”
Issuing that final reprimand, Xavier smoothly escorted the indignant, huffing little succubus out of the dining hall while continuing his running stream of soothing murmurs.
Left behind in the dining room, Frank made a tactical break for freedom, only to be yanked back instantly by an invisible, binding grip that froze him immovably in place.
Sliding up flush against Frank’s trembling spine like a predatory viper wrapping around its prey, Herman murmured with a chilling, suppressed fury underlying his velvet-smooth tone, his long heart-shaped tail slipping effortlessly beneath the hem of Frank’s swallowtail coat:
“Now then, Frank.”
“We need to have a serious, thorough conversation regarding your habit of running away immediately after sleeping with me. And also… your definitive assertion that you would never, ever fall in love with a ‘accursed’ succubus.”
Sprouting a pair of inky black skeletal wings from his back, Herman hoisted the struggling assistant bodily into the air as they sailed straight out through the open French windows.
“I imagine we have plenty of time to discuss this at length.”
Meanwhile, seated comfortably within a cushioned carriage, Huey abruptly recalled an unresolved detail and turned to ask, “Lord Xavier, if I recall correctly, Herman is an exceptionally formidable succubus whose combat strength surpasses that of most demons. Frank shouldn’t… come to any harm, should he?”
With a strange, inexplicable pause, Xavier answered in a measured tone: “He should remain unharmed. Frank has cultivated his power for several millennia…”
…Though he has spent virtually all of that tenure performing desk duties up in Heaven, surely he possesses enough baseline strength not to be entirely subdued by a single succubus.
If the trapped assistant could magically overhear his superior’s internal monologue at that exact moment, he would undoubtedly have wept rivers of bitter tears.
I am utterly incapable of matching him! Who on earth could possibly anticipate a succubus possessing such absurd, freakish physical dominance?!
The night market at the Port of Hamura enjoyed a renown rivalling that of the Sea of Oblivion itself. Dwarven smiths bellowed lustily as they hawked freshly forged alchemical artifacts; slimes strolled about peddling experimental elixirs distilled directly from their own gelatinous secretions; and succubi could be spotted casually vending “novelty toys” designed specifically to elevate romance and intimacy between partners.
“It has been ages since I last wandered through a night market quite like this.”
Clinging affectionately to Xavier’s arm, Huey strolled down the bustling thoroughfare with a buoyant, proud bounce, eager to flaunt his handsome companion to every single demon they passed.
“I have never visited one.” Xavier murmured, keeping a protective arm wrapped loosely around Huey’s waist to shield him from an oncoming, broad-shouldered werewolf passerby.
“That must mean you’ve simply been slumbering far too long.” Huey offered a thoughtful, considerate rationalization. “Actually, night markets were only introduced to the Underworld from the mortal realm a century or two ago. Mortals, for all their fleeting lifespans, possess an extraordinary talent for innovation.”
“Mhm.” Xavier offered a noncommittal hum, withholding the actual truth which was simply that nights in Heaven were invariably characterized by absolute tranquility and divine serenity, completely devoid of bustling bazaar culture.
“Look, my lord!” Exclaiming in sudden excitement, Huey tugged firmly on Xavier’s sleeve and pointed toward a corner stall. “They’re selling dream-fruit!”
The vendor operating the stall was a handsome, sharp-featured dark elf whose display was stacked high with plump, emerald-green dream-fruits that looked so succulent they immediately caused a spectator’s mouth to water.
“Greetings, how much for these dream-fruits?” Huey flashed a sunny, dazzling smile at the dark elf.
Instead of answering immediately, the dark elf scrutinized Huey from head to foot, offering a soft scoff before remarking: “Ah, you must be Huey.”
Casting a pointed glance down toward the platinum-gold heart-shaped tail resting against Xavier’s arm, the dark elf sighed softly. “Word travels fast across the entire elven community about Sophiel having a remarkably unique succubus friend equipped with a gold-white tail.”
Deftly gathering a dozen dream-fruits into a woven bamboo basket, the dark elf handed the collection straight over. “Here, take them. No charge. Consider it… a courtesy extended for Sophiel’s sake.”
“Hm?” Huey blinked in surprise. “Are you and Sophiel acquainted?”
“To be precise,” the handsome dark elf sneered bitterly, “I am her freshly dumped ex-boyfriend. Heaven knows what has gotten into her recently; she’s been spending all her waking hours clinging to a female succubus.”
A flicker of bitter envy crossed the dark elf’s features. “Hmph just a female succubus, nothing special.”
Overwhelmed by a bitter wave of displaced jealousy, the dark elf aggressively shoved the heavy basket of dream-fruits right into Huey’s arms, flushing a bright crimson as he muttered defensively, “Hey! You’re close with Sophiel, right? Do me a favor and knock some sense into her tell her that going around dumping one ex-boyfriend after another is bound to bring bad karma!”
Moments later, Huey found himself strolling down the street alongside Xavier, clutching a heavy basket overflowing with emerald dream-fruits. He offered a helpless, dry chuckle. “Well… Sophiel has always been exceptionally charming, albeit somewhat fickle as a dark elf lady.”
“It would appear so,” Xavier murmured with a soft laugh. “Though from my perspective, the single most charming individual in existence remains right here beside me.”
Flushing a brilliant shade of crimson, the young succubus bit into a sweet dream-fruit, thinking to himself that the man was continuing to deal out heavy doses of smooth romantic flattery while persistently refusing to take any substantive action.
Truly a frustrating dilemma!
After lingering awhile longer to purchase a smattering of curious trinkets and novelties, the pair turned their steps homeward, only to halt as a booming, familiar voice echoed from behind.
“Huey!”
Swiveling around, Huey rolled his eyes in dramatic fashion. “Oh, it’s you again, you stingy skeleton.”
Bounding forward with an enthusiastic clatter of bones, the Lich’s soul fire flickered erratically with absolute joy. “Splendid! Bumping into you right here is a miracle. My newest commercial venture has finally been thrown a lifeline!”
“Ugh.” Huey groaned. “Are you planning to offer me another measly three-and-a-half gold coins to trick me into serving as your promotional mouthpiece again?”
“No, no, no, absolutely not!” Waving his bony hands frantically, the Lich held up a claw to signal a specific digit while grinning ear-to-ear. “This time, I am offering an upfront retainer of eighty thousand gold coins!”
“Eighty thousand?!” Huey widened his eyes in absolute, stunned disbelief. “Has your soul container been cracked open by a doorway? Why on earth are you suddenly feeling so wildly generous?”
Issuing an embarrassed chuckle, the Lich confessed his true objective: “I tuned into your live stream for the ‘Sweet Romance’ festival, of course! Which is precisely why I’ve tracked you down today I’m begging the two of you to partner up once more and spearhead the promotional live stream for our newly minted Underworld honeymoon sanctuary: The Wandering Valley!“