The words Feng Ci spoke while taking Berry out surpassed everything he had said in three years of school combined.
That kid was practically the embodiment of "One Hundred Thousand Whys," asking him about everything from what flies in the sky to what runs on the ground, and even what’s in the bowl.
Feng Ci talked until his mouth went dry, regretting his momentary burst of kindness and whimsical decision with infinite remorse.
He really had too much time on his hands.
Back home, Feng Ci gulped down water in large mouthfuls, while Berry crouched by the floor-to-ceiling window, her little hands pressed against the glass, still eager to explore the outside world.
In winter, the sun sets early, and by just past five, the sky was already darkening, hazy at the horizon.
Feng Ci lay on the sofa with his eyes closed, resting. The room was quiet, without a single noise. He dozed off for a while, and when he opened his eyes again, the sky was completely dark.
Rubbing his forehead, Feng Ci propped himself up and glanced toward the floor-to-ceiling window, only to find Berry still crouched there in the same position.
Had she been frozen in place?
"Hey."
The little one didn’t move.
He asked, "What do you want to eat for dinner?"
The frozen little one turned around eagerly, raising her hand high and saying, "I can make soup. I’ll cook it for you."
"You didn’t move for so long, I thought you’d fallen asleep there." Feng Ci yawned. "You want to cook for me?"
Berry nodded repeatedly.
Feng Ci showed deep distrust toward the three-heads-tall little kid who volunteered to cook.
"No, I’m afraid you’ll burn the kitchen down." He opened the yellow square app. "Let’s just order takeout."
Berry rushed over: "I’m really good at cooking. I’m the best at it."
He’d seen people boast about themselves, but never such a little one doing it. Feng Ci flicked Berry’s forehead with his knuckle:
"Minors are forbidden from playing with fire."
Then he stood up. "Didn’t you want to learn the Magic for making clothes clean? Come with me."
The washing machine and dryer on the balcony were combined into one unit. Feng Ci pointed at it and briefly explained how to use it and the process.
Berry stared blankly up at the big black box that towered over her by two heads, her still-developing little brain completely unable to grasp its principles.
Was it this big thing that helped wash her clothes, dry them, and spray them with perfume?
The child stood on tiptoe, stretching her neck as far as she could to see if there was a Magic Sprite living inside.
Feng Ci lifted Berry up so she could get a closer look. Her little hand swiftly pulled open the washing machine door, and her round head dove inside to search around.
Feng Ci was too late to stop her.
Knock knock. "Is anyone there?"
Knock knock. "Hello, is anyone there?"
Feng Ci: ?
Just as he was about to pull her head out, he heard her muttering to herself as she leaned back in.
"Oh."
"No one."
"…"
The three words made Feng Ci laugh. "You really have ideas."
Berry pulled her head back, offering a reserved smile. "Thank you, you’re not bad either, just a little less clever than me."
Not big in size, but big in attitude.
Feng Ci set the arrogant little one down. "This is modern Magic. So, is it awesome or not?"
Berry pushed back her hood and looked around. "Where’s the cow? Did you raise a cow? I don’t see it."
"…" Feng Ci let out a light sigh and smiled. "This ‘awesome’ isn’t that ‘cow.’ It’s good that you can’t see it."
What’s he talking about? Berry scratched her head in confusion.
"Have you learned how to use the modern washing machine yet? From now on, wash your own clothes every day. I won’t help you anymore."
The child in Feng Ci’s view stammered, first flashing a peace sign, then quickly changing her tune: "Teach me two more… no, five, five more times."
Berry couldn’t read the block characters on the machine—her hands had learned, but her brain hadn’t.
Although Feng Ci found it troublesome, compared to being a full-time caretaker, this temporary hassle was still bearable. So he patiently taught her five more times until he was sure Berry had mastered it, feeling an indescribable sense of accomplishment.
Feng Ci decided to strike while the iron was hot and teach Berry how to use other modern appliances in the house, such as the robot vacuum, dishwasher, and retractable clothes rack.
—These were essential basic skills for a little housemaid.
Feng Ci couldn’t cook. The kitchen was fully equipped but showed no signs of ever having been used. Unsurprisingly, dinner was once again resolved with takeout.
Feng Ci didn’t see anything wrong with this. The fact that he provided meals was already good enough. Whether the takeout was healthy or whether it was good for the child wasn’t something he cared about.
He had grown up eating like this himself, and he was still alive and kicking, full of energy. Besides, Berry was happily devouring her spicy hot pot, so there was no need for him to worry.
He had barely entertained the thought when, as if jinxing it, the child who had been laughing happily just moments before suddenly curled up on the carpet like a shrimp, letting out soft, kitten-like whimpers.
Feng Ci paused while cleaning up the takeout containers. "What’s wrong?"
Berry clutched her stomach and whimpered softly, "My… my stomach hurts."
"Stomachache?" Feng Ci’s expression shifted. "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Berry bit her lip, embarrassed and hesitant. "I… I can’t hold it anymore."
"Hurry, hurry, go to the bathroom!"
Fearing the child might have an accident right then and there, Feng Ci quickly scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom. He lifted the toilet lid and said:
"Just sit here and do your business. The flush button is right there—simple and straightforward, you’ll get it at a glance."
Berry stared at the spotless, snow-white ceramic toilet, feeling it was too clean and hesitating to sit down.
"What are you waiting for? Get on!"
"I didn’t bring any rough paper…"
"What do you need rough paper for? To fold and play with?"
Berry looked at him in shock. "To wipe, of course! Don’t you wipe after using the toilet?"
Feng Ci’s face darkened. "We don’t use rough paper to wipe here."
That stuff chafes.
"Then what do you use?" Berry stared at him with wide, innocent eyes, letting her imagination run wild. "I know—you use hemp rope to wipe."
She looked at him with pity. "Your butt must be on fire. That must hurt so much."
Without another word, Feng Ci plopped the chattering child onto the toilet seat and pulled a stack of tissues from the dispenser. "Use this to wipe. Throw it in the toilet and flush it when you’re done. If you keep talking nonsense, you’ll end up making a mess in your pants."
With that, he closed the door, leaving Berry with a head full of questions.
She stared down at the buttons, lost in thought. Which one did Brother Feng say was for flushing again…?
Standing guard outside the bathroom door, Feng Ci heard the smart toilet’s melodious chime one moment and the child’s startled yelps the next, painting a vivid picture of the chaotic scene unfolding inside.
Feng Ci shouted instructions through the door. Ten minutes later, the door opened from the inside, revealing a thoroughly drenched Berry, her expression still shaken.
"The toilet attacked my butt!"
"My skirt is completely soaked," she complained to Feng Ci, her voice full of confusion. "Does it always go crazy like this?"
Feng Ci: "Tch."
"It's you who doesn't know how to use it." What could possibly be wrong with his imported smart toilet that cost tens of thousands? "Change your clothes first before we talk."
He wasn’t worried about Berry catching a cold—the toilet was equipped with a temperature control system, and the water it sprayed was warm. He simply found her messy and unkempt.
Once the drenched, unlucky child had changed her clothes and emerged, Feng Ci called her back to the bathroom like summoning a dog, ready to give her a proper lesson.
"The one with the water droplet symbol is the flush button."
"Next to it is the bidet button. Swipe left or right to adjust the water pressure."
"Swallow what?"
"…Not 'swallow something.' It means this is for washing your butt."
Berry wrinkled her little nose, visibly displeased. "It's not good. It washes butts without permission."
"That’s because you pressed it randomly without knowing what it does." Feng Ci spoke up righteously for the toilet. "If you don’t believe me, look—isn’t it perfectly fine now? Let me demonstrate for you—"
Splash!
A meter-high jet of water shot straight out of the toilet. Feng Ci felt a sudden warmth on his face, his vision blurred, and he was about to let out a curse when he turned his head and choked on the water.
The out-of-control stream drenched him from head to toe. Too flustered to even feel angry, Feng Ci wiped the water from his face with one hand while fumbling to turn off the power with the other.
Meanwhile, Berry had already scampered away, pointing at the chaotic scene and shouting:
"Ooh, it’s gone crazy again. It really is insane."
Feng Ci: …So infuriating.