That Madam Jiang from earlier was a concubine of Prince Duan. Prince Duan had married at seventeen or eighteen—an imperially bestowed marriage, wedding the legitimate daughter of the Duke of An's household. Who would have thought that the princess consort would be frail in health, never parted from medicine since childhood and bedridden with illness? Barely two years after marrying into the prince's residence, she passed away.
After that, Prince Duan never remarried. Two years ago, when the old prince fell gravely ill and was near death, he feared that Prince Duan would be delayed indefinitely by the mourning period, and hastily tried to arrange a marriage for him—though Prince Duan himself was unwilling.
And so the current Emperor bestowed a concubine, the Empress Dowager in the palace granted a maidservant, the Dowager Consort in the prince's residence arranged another, and finally, the former princess consort's natal family, the Duke of An's household, sent one of their own concubine-born daughters into the residence to become Prince Duan's secondary consort.
The other concubines were merely mistresses; only this concubine-born daughter of the Duke of An's household held a proper title and status—she was the current Madam Jiang.
As for that man, Gu Youning had also roughly figured out his identity. He was a cousin from Madam Jiang's side of the family. Madam Jiang's mother had come from a base registry, and her cousin was rather good-for-nothing as well, but relying on a good marriage connection, he had grown somewhat reckless.
This cousin was named Li Shihui. He had visited the duke's residence before, and had once caught sight of her in the rear courtyard by chance. His gaze had clung to her ever since. She found it distasteful and deliberately avoided him.
Who knew that the last time she was walking along the street, she ran into Li Shihui again, and he actually spoke to her lewdly. She could only scold him a few random words before hurrying away.
She had taken him for an ordinary lecher and hadn't taken it to heart, nor had she dared tell Sun Feng'an. Who knew that this man would now harbor such sinister designs.
Thinking back now—today she hadn't wanted to drink that Hundred Flowers Wine at all, yet one of the wives had led the others in egging her on, insisting she drink. She didn't even know that wife. Why would the woman treat her that way? There had to be a reason.
Perhaps the Hundred Flowers Wine, or perhaps the cup, had been tampered with. According to their plan, they must have intended to intercept her while she was drunk and take advantage of her.
But after drinking that cup of wine, she had felt something was wrong, and in her stumbling, disheveled state, she had blundered into Prince Duan's study and run into Prince Duan herself—leading to this whole absurd affair. It was truly a case of fate's strange twists.
Gu Youning stared blankly as she thought through all of this, her heart utterly dead with despair.
She had been given to Sun Feng'an as his wife, and at first she had been unwilling. There were many things about this marriage that displeased her, but over time she had come to accept it.
Her mother had planned for her too. Sun Feng'an's father was a steward of the prince's residence, highly trusted by Prince Duan, and Sun Feng'an's mother had been the Dowager Consort's dowry nanny. As a daughter-in-law of the Sun family, as long as she followed the rules and made no major mistakes, she could surely secure a good position in the residence—perhaps even become the head housekeeper one day.
But now? She had climbed into Prince Duan's bed and ruined his mourning observance.
If this got out, it would mean Prince Duan had broken his own word, defiled his filial duty—his reputation and good name would all be destroyed in one stroke.
What would happen then? She didn't know what would become of Prince Duan, but she would certainly die. She might even implicate her natal family, and even the Sun family.
After all, both her natal family and her husband's family were household slaves born into the Prince Duan's residence. Killing her would be as easy as crushing an ant.
Thinking of all this, she sank into utter despair, and hated that Li Shihui and Madam Jiang with all her being.
Who could have imagined that Li Shihui's lust would remain unsated, and that he had even roped in Madam Jiang to help him carry out such a vile scheme.
And who could have imagined that Madam Jiang—the wife of Prince Duan's household, no less—though only a concubine, with no principal consort above her, was the most influential woman in the residence apart from the old Dowager Consort. She had been overseeing the entire household's affairs, and yet a woman of such standing would resort to such methods against her. It was truly—
Gu Youning's heart turned to ash. Her vision blurred, and the rain, the courtyard all seemed veiled behind a layer of glass.
What was she to do?
As she stood lost in a daze, a gust of wind blew past and a fine drizzle sprinkled down. She shuddered and came back to her senses.
Clutching her soaked collar tightly, she thought: I must live, and live well. I never meant to ruin Prince Duan's reputation, nor did I climb into his bed to destroy my own virtue of my own will. So this cannot be blamed on me.
Since it is not my fault, I must do my best to cover it up.
As for Prince Duan, I need not bear the whole blame for sullying his name. In any case, I was drunk at the time, while he seemed sober. If he had felt no desire at all, nothing could have happened. Could I have forced him? Impossible.
So if anyone is to blame for this, both of them share the fault.
In that case, the best thing is for everyone to keep silent, preserve each other's reputations. She could continue being the Sun family's daughter-in-law, and he could continue observing his mourning period.
In truth, what she should really fear were Madam Jiang and Li Shihui. If they learned the truth, they would surely never let her go.
For now, she could only play the fool, pretend to know nothing of their sordid schemes, and hope that their plot having come to nothing, they would abandon the idea entirely.
After thinking it through from beginning to end, she began to feel she might still have a way out. Some strength returned to her body, and she crawled out from among the flowering shrubs. Taking advantage of the night, she made her way along the base of the wall toward the outside. At this moment most of the servants and maids had crowded toward the front hall for the excitement, and even those who stayed behind weren't walking about outside because of the rain. Along the way, she didn't run into a single soul.
Moving carefully the entire way, she finally slipped into the narrow passage behind the kitchen. Reaching the cookhouse, she dared not barge in, but listened carefully for sounds within, and learned that only her mother was inside.
Her mother had originally only done rough work, but because she had married Sun Feng'an, the Sun family had looked after their in-laws and gotten her a position in the kitchen. And since her mother was an excellent cook, she had gradually established a firm footing there.
Seeing that no one was around, she pushed open the door and slipped inside.
Her mother, Old Madame Gu, was making flatbreads. Startled by her sudden entrance, she looked her daughter over carefully and grew terribly frightened: "You—what's happened to you?"
By now Gu Youning had calmed down. Biting her bloodless, bluish lips, she said, "Mother, something happened in the front hall. Don't make a sound."
Old Madame Gu hurriedly looked her daughter up and down. Seeing her soaked through, covered in mud and water, her hair loose and disheveled, she had already guessed seven or eight tenths of what had occurred. She quickly glanced out the window, confirmed no one was there, then pulled her daughter over to the stove to warm herself by the fire, while she herself got up and rummaged through an old wooden chest nearby, pulling out a front-buttoned robe of dark blue cotton cloth for her to wear. She then removed a comb from her own hair and tidied her daughter's bun.
Once Gu Youning had straightened her clothes and wrapped herself in the robe, her earlier dishevelment was no longer noticeable. After her hair was done up, she finally regained her composure.
Old Madame Gu ladled a bowl of hot soup from the pot and handed it to Gu Youning to drink. Only then did she ask in a low voice, "What on earth happened?"
Gu Youning sat weakly on a wooden stool, cradling the hot soup, at a loss for where to begin.
Old Madame Gu urged her on, "What on earth happened? Just say it!"
Gu Youning sniffled pitifully, then said in a tearful voice, "Her Highness the Consort Dowager gifted Hundred Flowers Wine. Several of the wives I know all drank it, and I had a cup too. Who knew I would actually get tipsy? I was stumbling along, I, I…"
Her nose stung and tears were about to fall, but she held them back and said in a choked voice, "I took a wrong turn and stumbled into some place, and I came upon something—a man… he, he…"
Old Madame Gu was frantic listening to this. "Did he get his hands on you?"
Gu Youning nodded through her tears.
Old Madame Gu was instantly furious. "Which plague-ridden wretch dared defile you like this? Did anyone see?"
Gu Youning said, "I don't know. I couldn't see clearly. Luckily no one saw me. It was raining outside, so I ran here under cover of night."
Old Madame Gu questioned her at length, but Gu Youning naturally insisted she didn't know, that she knew nothing.
She didn't dare mention Prince Duan, much less Madam Jiang. Speaking of it would only make her mother worry and fear for her, so she could only brush it off.
After questioning her for a long while and getting nothing out of her, Old Madame Gu had to give up. She knitted her brows and thought carefully for a moment. "This matter must never be let out to outsiders. You must keep it hidden, or your whole life will be ruined!"
Gu Youning bit her lip and nodded. "I know."
Old Madame Gu glanced outside and lowered her voice. "Did the deed get done?"
Gu Youning didn't understand.
Old Madame Gu could only nod helplessly.
Old Madame Gu said through gritted teeth, "If you're with child, it would be an evil seed—it cannot be kept. Just wait. In a few days I'll find a way to get some abortifacient medicine and send it to you. Drink it secretly."
Gu Youning nodded quickly.
She understood, of course. If she truly conceived and bore Prince Duan's child, he would never acknowledge it, and if the Sun family learned the child wasn't Sun Feng'an's, it would cost her her life.
Just then, footsteps sounded outside. A maid came walking under an umbrella, saying she had come to fetch sobering-up soup. Old Madame Gu hurried to attend to it, and soon the cook from the stove room came over as well to fire up the pot and boil the soup.
Afraid someone might notice something amiss, Gu Youning exchanged a few words of greeting, took an umbrella, and left.
She naturally dared not return to the front hall, and went straight toward the corner gate in the northeast. Once out the corner gate, a few steps took her into her own courtyard.
Sun Feng'an's father had managed affairs in the prince's residence for many years and had accumulated some family wealth, so he had purchased a residence on the street outside the manor—a three-courtyard compound, quite neat and spacious.
When Gu Youning entered, the light was still on in her sister-in-law Sun Yue's room. Hearing her movements, Sun Yue asked casually, "Who is it?"
Gu Youning hurriedly replied, "It's me. You haven't slept yet?"
As she spoke, she entered the room under her umbrella. Sun Yue lifted the curtain and came out, frowning. "Why are you back so early? Weren't you sent to help at the banquet?"
Gu Youning explained, "They don't lack for hands anymore, so I came back early."
As if nothing had happened, she folded the umbrella and set it on the rack by the window, then asked, "Have you had your evening meal?"
But Sun Yue pressed on, "What distinguished guests came today? Was His Highness present?"
At the words "His Highness," Gu Youning felt as if her heart had been pierced by a needle.
She forced down the pain and said, "I wouldn't know. We were only serving in the back—how would we know about the prince's affairs out front?"
Sun Yue was deeply disappointed, muttering to herself, "If I had gone to help, I would have played it by ear. I might even have gotten a glimpse of His Highness."
Sun Yue had a certain beauty, and her father was a head steward in the residence, so she had always set her heart on becoming a concubine of Prince Duan. But her parents were unwilling, hoping instead to find her a good husband so she could be a proper principal wife.
Because of this, Sun Yue had quarreled with her family many times, always scheming for a chance to show herself in front of Prince Duan.
Seeing her like this, Gu Youning felt even more helpless, but she could say nothing. She made an excuse and returned to her own room first.
Sun Feng'an was not there at the moment, so she took the opportunity to pour some warm water and carefully wipe herself down.
As she wiped herself, scenes from earlier suddenly flashed through her mind, and she froze.
Madam Jiang had used such underhanded means to frame her, yet she herself had not resisted. No doubt Prince Duan had seen it all clearly.
He must think she coveted his power and was deliberately seducing him.
At this thought, Gu Youning let out a long sigh.
Fortunately, as a young married woman, even if she was assigned some task in the future, it would be hard for her to appear before Prince Duan. After a while, he would surely forget the whole matter.
Once everything was tidied up, she changed into clean, soft undergarments and climbed into bed.
Outside, the spring rain grew heavier by the moment, and the cold, damp air beat against the window. Luckily, the room was warm.
The Sun family was not stingy—the charcoal fire was plentiful, and the bedding was of fine satin.
Gu Youning closed her eyes to rest, trying to forget everything that had happened that night.
She didn't know how long had passed, but just as she was sinking into a deep sleep, she heard movement—it was Sun Feng'an returning.
She forced her eyes open and struggled up to attend to his washing.
Sun Feng'an was twenty-one this year, three years older than her. He was handsome and generally considerate. Frankly speaking, he was a husband as rare as finding a needle by lamplight.
For Gu Youning to marry Sun Feng'an had made many of her young friends green with envy.
However, Gu Youning had originally had a man of her own heart—Zhang Xu, a guard in the residence whom she had known since childhood.
If not for Sun Feng'an, she would surely have been betrothed to Zhang Xu. But Sun Feng'an had taken a fancy to her and petitioned Prince Duan. Once Prince Duan spoke, the marriage was beyond any negotiation.
Because of this, she had always harbored resentment toward Prince Duan in her heart, and toward Sun Feng'an, she certainly had no heartfelt love—she merely performed her duties as a wife in a proper, step-by-step manner.
Now that Sun Feng'an had returned, she attended to him carefully.
Sun Feng'an was in excellent spirits today and said to her with a smile, "Do you know what lucky encounter I had today?"
Gu Youning had no choice but to put on an expectant expression, asking with a smile, "Was it some good fortune?"
Sun Feng'an said, "I wasn't even supposed to be on duty today, but because of an important guest, I was keeping watch at the side gate in front. Who knew I would happen upon Madam Jiang's sedan chair? Madam was so kind—saying I had to work hard on duty on a rainy night, she even rewarded me with silver to buy wine."
With that, he gleefully pulled a blue cloth handkerchief from his breast, opened it, and inside was indeed wrapped a corner of silver, weighing about two or three taels.
Hearing this, Gu Youning's heart tightened.
She thought: when Sun Feng'an encountered Madam Jiang, Madam Jiang was on her way to catch her in the act!
Who knew what mocking, contemptuous thoughts Madam Jiang had harbored when she rewarded Sun Feng'an with that silver!
At this moment, she couldn't help wondering whether she should tell Sun Feng'an what had happened, so that he would be on his guard.
But when she thought of Prince Duan's mourning period, she didn't want to say a single word.
If she mentioned Li Shihui, she would have to mention Madam Jiang; and if she mentioned Madam Jiang, she could hardly avoid talking about what came after. Say too much, and the whole thing would be exposed.
Thinking this, she became all the more attentive in helping Sun Feng'an wash up, and once done, went to bed to rest.
Sun Feng'an was young and full of vigor, and quite fond of her, so naturally he had desires in bed. But Gu Youning only pleaded fatigue and indisposition, brushing him off.
Sun Feng'an, unwilling to give up, complained, "Outsiders only say I married a great beauty. How would they know you're made of porcelain? Today this hurts, tomorrow you don't feel like that—how many times a month can a man get any satisfaction?"
Complain as he might, he had been drinking, and after a bit of fussing soon fell asleep.
Gu Youning lay there, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
The moment she closed her eyes, she remembered what had happened, remembered everything between herself and that man.
All her life she had followed the rules. Even when she had admired Zhang Xu yet had no choice but to marry Sun Feng'an, she had only cried for a while before accepting her fate.
Obey the father at home, obey the husband after marriage—that was the proper way. If she were ever pressed too hard, she could always follow the chaste heroines of history and throw herself down a well to preserve her purity.
But now, over a cup of wine, in a muddled haze, she had actually done such a thing.
She recalled Sun Feng'an's complaints and couldn't help feeling ashamed. She had denied Sun Feng'an his satisfaction because tonight she had coupled with another man.
She was Sun Feng'an's wife, yet she had let another man treat her that way, and even—
She stroked her flat belly, thinking that perhaps she really might conceive an ill-begotten child.
She had wronged her husband, wronged her natal family. She was utterly beyond forgiveness.
She almost wished she were dead.
As if possessed, she actually got up, climbed down from the bed, rummaged around, and found a gold pendant. She thought—why not just swallow gold and end it all?
If she died, no one would ever know about this. Madam Jiang and Li Shihui would naturally never dare bring it up; Prince Duan would act as if nothing had happened; her natal family wouldn't be blamed. Everything would be perfectly settled.
By the faint light coming through the window, she examined the gold pendant, wondering how she should swallow it.
If she did it wrong, it might scratch her throat and hurt terribly without killing her—wouldn't that be sheer torment?
Just as she was lost in these thoughts, suddenly the wind outside shook the pomegranate tree, its branches slapping against the window lattice with a rustling sound.
She started, snapping awake.
What had she been thinking? Death?
Why should she die?
Wasn't she alive and well? Nothing had been exposed—what was she afraid of?
Just then, Sun Feng'an mumbled in his sleep on the bed, seemingly muttering about the silver he'd received today.
Look at this man. She had been schemed against, and he knew nothing, had no ability to stand up for her—he was coveting the silver someone else had given him.
So why should she, a helpless woman without talent or means, concern herself with the righteousness of chaste martyrs?
She drew a deep breath, climbed back onto the bed, and lay down beside Sun Feng'an.
Even ants steal life to keep living. Of course she couldn't die. Even if she had to live on in disgrace, she would take it one day at a time.