As the steward of Prince Duan's residence, Sun Feng'an's father had a spacious three-courtyard home with servants at his disposal—a young maid named Ping'er, fourteen or fifteen years old and just at the age to be trained, and a woman in her forties who could prepare soups and broths, do mending, and handle the daily sweeping and cleaning.
At dawn, as soon as the sky lightened, the kitchen was already a flurry of pots and pans, everyone busy on their feet.
Though a servant woman in the prince's residence, Gu Youning was the proper young mistress of the Sun household, so she naturally had to go personally to the kitchen to supervise, keeping an eye on the maids and servants and assigning tasks.
After all this bustle, when the time came, she personally attended to her mother-in-law as she rose and washed, and they took breakfast together.
Sun Feng'an's mother was a chatterbox, and breakfast was no quiet affair. Having just attended upon the old Consort the day before and met quite a few distinguished guests, she began critiquing the various ladies, going on and on without pause.
As he listened, Sun Feng'an's father's face darkened. He slammed his bowl and chopsticks down on the table and refused to eat any further.
Seeing this, Sun Feng'an's mother grew displeased as well and complained, "What on earth are you throwing a tantrum about now?"
Sun Feng'an's father said coldly, "Qingming is almost upon us, and all the festival gifts must be prepared in advance. I'm going over early to see to it."
With that, he rose, clasped his hands behind his back, and strode out.
Sun Feng'an's mother was full of resentment and muttered, "Could it be that some vixen in the residence has bewitched him again? His soul isn't even at home!"
In truth, Sun Feng'an's father was only in his early forties, in the prime of life, and as a steward in the prince's residence, there were naturally plenty of servant women and maids eager to curry favor with him. Years ago, Sun Feng'an's mother had already grown suspicious, believing he had gotten entangled with some seductive witch outside, and had once rushed over to raise a great ruckus about it, causing quite an uproar.
Gu Youning knew all about this affair, but she never said a word, only kept her head down and ate carefully, occasionally thoughtfully serving food to Sun Feng'an's mother, Sun Feng'an, and Sun Yue.
In the past, having to wait so carefully on her in-laws, sister-in-law, and husband during breakfast would have been the torment of a young bride. But now, she found this kind of head-bowed servitude strangely comforting.
She had done such a terrible thing—if it could just be covered up, she was willing to be an ox or a horse for the Sun family.
After the meal, Sun Yue returned to her own room. Sun Feng'an's mother had to make a trip to the residence and wanted to bring Gu Youning along. Gu Youning had no wish to enter the residence, so she excused herself: "Qingming is almost here, and Feng'an will surely have to accompany His Highness on outings. I want to finish that robe I started cutting a few days ago as soon as possible."
Hearing this, Sun Feng'an's mother was quite satisfied: "Work at it diligently, and make it presentable—it will show him to good advantage."
Then she added her instructions: "These years are crucial for Feng'an. Your father said he'll mention it to His Highness and arrange a good position for him."
Sun Feng'an had served at Prince Duan's side since he was twelve or thirteen. Now that he was married and grown, it was time he was given a position outside. Sun Feng'an's mother had long kept this in mind, hoping to pave a good path for her son and secure him a bright future.
Gu Youning knew this well enough. Her heart skipped, but she nodded in agreement.
Once the family had dispersed, she sat cross-legged on the couch, buried in her needlework, stitching away one stitch at a time—but her heart was not on her sewing.
She was anxious after all, afraid the affair would come to light, afraid her life would be ruined from here on.
She wanted to go to the residence to find out what she could, but in the end, she didn't dare.
She lifted her head and looked out through the window. The rain had stopped today, but there was no sun either—everything was a hazy gray all around, which only made the heart feel all the more heavy and stifled.
She lowered her eyes listlessly, moistened the needle a little between her hair, and bent her head back over her work.
As she was sewing, she heard footsteps outside the courtyard. It was her mother, who came in holding up an umbrella, a bamboo basket hooked over her arm, lifting the curtain as she entered.
Gu Youning hurried to greet her: "Mother?"
Just then, Sun Yue also came out, lifting the curtain. Old Madame Gu paid no attention to Gu Youning, but smiled and chatted with Sun Yue instead. It turned out that several large baskets of spring vegetables had been delivered outside that day, all freshly picked in the early morning—there was Indian kalimeris, and tatsoi, all tender and glistening with water. She had specially picked out some to bring over, so they could enjoy a fresh taste at lunch.
She said with a smile: "I know you lack for nothing, of course—it's just for the sake of freshness. These are all tender tops I picked over and picked over."
Hearing this, Sun Yue was naturally delighted, and hurriedly took the basket with a smile: "How kind of you, Auntie, to make this special trip."
After a few pleasantries were exchanged, Sun Yue returned to her own room, and Old Madame Gu followed Gu Youning into the bedroom, where mother and daughter spoke in private, intimate tones.
Gu Youning, her heart in her throat, quickly asked Old Madame Gu whether there had been any movement in the residence. Learning there had been none, she was somewhat reassured. Old Madame Gu in turn asked whether the Sun family—Sun Feng'an in particular—had noticed anything, and Gu Youning told her everything one by one, at which Old Madame Gu breathed a sigh of relief.
Gu Youning said: "For the next few days I'll keep out of sight and not go to the residence. We'll talk once the storm has passed."
That was naturally what Old Madame Gu thought as well: "Let's hope this ordeal passes quietly, without a sound."
As they spoke, she rose and peered outside again. Confirming no one was around, she furtively drew a jar wrapped in white cloth from the basket and handed it to Gu Youning: "Drink it quickly, while it's hot. Once you've taken this dose of medicine, at the very least you won't end up with child."
Gu Youning took it, the smell of the medicine assailing her nostrils. She cradled the jar: "If I drink this, will it hurt?"
Old Madame Gu sighed: "Of course it will hurt somewhat, but once it's over, it's over. That's better than leaving a curse behind."
Gu Youning understood this well enough. Steeling herself, she held her breath and gulped it all down, head thrown back.
While drinking it she felt nothing, but once it was down, the taste hit her mouth—it was bitterly awful, and tears nearly fell. She hastily took up her tea and rinsed her mouth out with several fierce swigs.
Old Madame Gu rubbed her back to help her catch her breath, and after a while, once she had calmed down, she began to question Gu Youning carefully again about the man from last night. She wanted to probe for information, so as to be prepared.
Gu Youning, thinking of that mourning period, ultimately said nothing, only: "It was pitch dark, and raining too. I was scared out of my wits—I didn't dare even look."
Old Madame Gu frowned, murmuring to herself: "If he didn't recognize you either, then so much the better. We can simply pretend the thing never happened."
Not wishing to dwell on the matter, Gu Youning turned the conversation to other household affairs. Old Madame Gu then mentioned that the Qingming Festival was at hand, and the residence would be preparing the Qingming memorial rites, which required all sorts of foods to be made. The pastries alone came in dozens of varieties.
Old Madame Gu was naturally itching to get her hands on the work. She had been busy in the kitchen these past few days, hoping to be assigned a few varieties to make, and thereby secure her footing in the kitchen.
As the two chatted idly, the conversation turned for a moment to Gu Youning's younger brother, Gu Yueqiu. Speaking of this son, Old Madame Gu's face was full of worry: "It's been raining day after day lately, and he can never sleep soundly at night."
Hearing this, Gu Youning felt a pang in her heart as well.
Her younger brother had always been clever since childhood, with a photographic memory—who wouldn't praise him? Who could have imagined that a few years ago, while working at the stables, a moment's carelessness sent him falling straight off a horse, and from then on his legs lost all feeling; he could only drag his feet when he walked.
Though Gu Yueqiu was merely a household servant of the prince's residence, he studied well and was handsome and refined. Old Madame Gu had originally hoped that if he someday gained his master's favor, he could at least secure a respectable position and elevate the family's standing. But now his legs were crippled and he could barely walk—all those old hopes had come to nothing.
Gu Youning: "That Doctor Wang we asked before—didn't he say there was some improvement while taking his medicine? Should we invite him to take another look?"
Old Madame Gu: "He said there was some improvement, but his walking still shows no progress. Every day I massage his legs and feet, hoping to get his blood flowing—it's just doing my duty as a mother. But if we invite the doctor again, it'll just be the same old platitudes and the same old prescriptions. Since we already have the prescription, why waste the consultation fee?"
Gu Youning: "You're right, Mother. Since the medicine still does some good, he should keep taking it. He's still young, still growing, with vigorous blood and energy. Maybe with careful care, he'll slowly recover."
Old Madame Gu: "That's exactly it. I pray day and night that he'll get better."
After seeing her mother off, Gu Youning sorted and washed all the fresh vegetables she had brought, and took the discarded leaves to feed the little hen in the courtyard.
Back in early spring, she had saved up a box of eggs to hatch chicks. But one day, Sun Feng'an's mother got into a quarrel with Sun Yue, and in her anger Sun Yue gave the box a shove—the whole box of eggs shattered. Gu Youning only managed to salvage one egg, and this one egg hatched into a chick.
When the chick first hatched, it was covered in soft, fluffy yellow down—quite adorable. Gu Youning was very fond of it and took careful care of this sole survivor.
Now the chick was gradually growing up, its little wings flapping about, and it was getting bigger. She doted on it all the more, tending to it meticulously every day.
She had even named the little hen Gugu.
Now she called out: "Gugu, look how fresh these vegetables are. Eat up."
Then she added: "Tomorrow I'll take you out to the countryside for something tasty."
Sun Yue happened to be on her way to the privy, and hearing this, burst out laughing: "Sister-in-law, you're too silly! It's just a hen!"
Gu Youning smiled and didn't reply, instead asking: "What would you like for lunch?"
Her parents-in-law, who worked in the residence, and her husband didn't come home for lunch—it was just her and her sister-in-law Sun Yue.
Sun Yue looked at the tatsoi—tender and fresh—and showed some interest: "How would you cook this?"
Gu Youning: "You always like light flavors. The way I see it, mince the garlic finely, stir-fry it over low heat until fragrant, then add a bit of sugar and salt for seasoning. We also have the steamed buns and wine-pickled duck Mother brought back from the residence yesterday. I'll slice some of the duck cold for us to eat—how does that sound?"
Sun Yue's appetite was roused: "Fine, go make it. Just remember not to make it too greasy—I can't stomach rich food."
Gu Youning agreed readily and instructed Ping'er and the nanny to prepare the meal, sharing some of it with them as well.
As she was busy with all this, Gu Youning suddenly felt her belly drop heavily, a wave of sharp pain twisting through it.
She knew it was because of that medicinal soup, so she endured it as best she could. But then her monthly period came—and it came flooding. She was a little frightened. She had heard of women who took fierce drugs to end a pregnancy and lost their lives because of it. Could she have run into the same fate?
But on second thought, her own mother would never harm her. She just had to bear it.
The next day her mother came again, secretly bringing her stewed soup as well as brown sugar egg water to help her recover. With these, she managed to hold on, and it was only after three or four days that the bleeding finally stopped and she slowly regained her strength.
When Old Madame Gu found out, she chanted "Amitabha" over and over, saying that Youning had made it through this ordeal.
Over these past few days, Old Madame Gu had also been carefully keeping an ear out for any stirrings in the manor. The household was calm and quiet, without a whisper of gossip. "Just forget about that whole business," she said.
Gu Youning said, "Mother, I know. No one knows about it."
Old Madame Gu said, "Oh, and by the way, Yueqiu has been asking about you these past few days. He said he hasn't seen you in ages. He's listened to you since he was little—go over and visit him sometime, talk to him, put his mind at ease."
Gu Youning naturally agreed. She had been missing her younger brother too.
After a few words, her mother hurried off to the prince's residence—she still had a pile of work in the kitchens. Gu Youning tidied herself up a little, found a spare moment, and went to her family home to see her brother, Gu Yueqiu.
Servants of the prince's residence who had favor, those who attended closely at their masters' sides, and those whose duties serving the women of the household made it inconvenient to come and go, naturally lived inside the residence. But some lived outside, and most of these were housed in quarters arranged by the residence. The Gu family lived in a large shared courtyard diagonally across from the prince's residence. It had rooms on three sides, housing a dozen or so families, and the Gus occupied two rooms in the western wing.
As soon as Gu Youning reached the courtyard gate, several married women and old nannies were there picking over spring vegetables and stitching shoe soles. Seeing her arrive, they hurriedly greeted her with smiles and made small talk. They had all known her since childhood and did odd jobs in the residence. Now that Gu Youning had married into the Sun family—and everyone knew the Suns were stewards in the prince's residence—they all had a flattering air about them, hoping that Gu Youning's father-in-law might help find positions for their sons and daughters.
But Gu Youning dared not promise any such thing. Positions in the prince's residence were fiercely sought after, and she would never dare raise such a matter with her father-in-law.
Those who understood knew that Gu Youning had her own difficulties. Those who didn't care to understand resented her for forgetting her roots.
Gu Youning entered the courtyard, vaguely hearing a few of the old women chattering outside.
"We grew up together, neighbors since childhood, and now she won't lift a finger to help. If that isn't forgetting her roots, what is? If she ever holds real power someday, who will sincerely help her then?"
"Her brother's leg is ruined now—who else can she count on? Aren't we her mother's family? Without anyone to back her up, even with the greatest ability, she'll never get anywhere!"
Gu Youning merely listened to these words and paid them little mind, going straight through her own door.
Gu Yueqiu, dressed in a plain dark blue robe, was leaning against the window lattice, a book in his hands.
Seeing him like this, Gu Youning was naturally pleased, and she said with a smile, "You're looking better in spirits than before."
Ever since his leg injury, he hadn't much cared to go out. Having found no position anyway, he simply stayed home reading.
At these words, Gu Yueqiu realized Gu Youning had arrived. A flicker of joy rose in his eyes, but it quickly dimmed again.
With a hint of helplessness, he set the book aside and said, "I'm useless anyway. Whether my spirits are good or not hardly matters."
Gu Youning burst out laughing. As she took out the pastries she had brought from her basket, she said with a smile, "Look at you, all listless. Anyone who didn't know better would think something terrible had happened. So your leg is bad—there's nothing to make such a fuss about."
Hearing her tone, Gu Yueqiu smiled too. "What goodies did you bring, Sister?"
Gu Youning said, "Sugar crisps, fried dough twists, and candied plums. Take a look—which do you want?"
The Sun family lived comfortably, and Sun Feng'an often received rewards as well. Gu Youning kept a basket in her room stocked with snacks, and she would occasionally bring some back to her family's home for Gu Yueqiu to enjoy.
Gu Yueqiu picked up a sugar crisp and ate it. It was crisp and sweet, a truly delightful taste. When he finished, he dabbed the corners of his mouth with a handkerchief and said, "Sister, from now on you needn't keep remembering to bring me these things. I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not much of a glutton to begin with."
Gu Youning was surprised.
Gu Yueqiu said earnestly, "If the Sun family notices, they'll only say you're constantly ferrying food back to your maiden home, and they'll think less of you for it. That's why I said the other day—if there's anything good to eat, have Mother keep it for you to take back with you."
Gu Youning froze. She looked at her younger brother seriously. He was only fifteen, his handsome face still carrying a trace of boyishness, yet his words were already so considerate and mature. She was naturally moved.
Gu Yueqiu grew uncomfortable under her gaze and said, blushing, "Sister, why are you looking at me like that?"
Gu Youning lowered her head and smiled, pressing her lips together. "In my heart I still think of you as a child. I never expected you to be so thoughtful already. I've underestimated you."
Gu Yueqiu gave a light huff and muttered, "I'm fifteen already!"
Gu Youning laughed. "Yes, yes, you're fifteen already."
She tilted her head slightly and asked, "So tell me, young man of fifteen—what are your plans for the future?"
Gu Yueqiu's smile gradually faded.
He was fifteen now; he couldn't keep living off his mother forever. As he grew older, he ought to think about his own path.
He lowered his head and was silent for a good while before saying, "As for work at the prince's residence, I'll never amount to anything there."
Gu Youning then recalled all the gossip and whispers behind their backs among the neighbors.
Gu Yueqiu continued, "But I've been thinking—I can at least read a few lines and put pen to paper. I'll look for some book-copying work to do, so I can earn a few coins to help with the household. For now I'll stay home and study in peace, and in my spare time I can write letters and documents for people. That's better than sitting around eating idle rice."
As Gu Youning listened, her gaze fell on the book from before. It was a thread-bound volume, its pages densely packed with characters. Gu Youning knew a few characters herself, but the essays were too obscure and convoluted for her to understand.
The truth was, Gu Yueqiu was a remarkably gifted child. When he was four or five, his mother had brought him along to work at the residence. It happened to be around New Year, and the steward was leading the servants in putting up couplets when Gu Yueqiu said one character was written incorrectly. The steward didn't believe him, but Gu Yueqiu was so certain that the steward later asked someone learned about it—and sure enough, it was wrong.
Everyone had been astonished at the time, and his mother was even more puzzled. The child had never studied—how could he read?
It turned out that Gu Yueqiu often played in the streets, and whenever he saw a shop sign, he would try to read it. He had already learned to recognize all the characters on the signs, and from the couplets pasted on people's doorways—which he would listen to others recite—he picked up even more characters.
At the time, Gu Youning's father was still alive. Beyond his astonishment, he was overjoyed.
The Gu family were registered slaves, and neither of Gu Yueqiu's parents could read. They had never even thought of sending the child to school. Yet the boy had such a gift—it seemed he might one day bring honor to the family and defy fate itself.
Gu Youning's father begged the estate's steward and, by one means or another, managed to get him into a school, where he studied for several years.
Gu Yueqiu was so exceptionally bright that after a few years, the teacher declared there was nothing left to teach him. So Gu Yueqiu worked as a helper in the residence while renting books from the book market to read on his own.
The Gu family's plan, naturally, was to wait until he was older and had achieved something in his studies, then beg the household for special mercy—so that Gu Yueqiu might find a way out for himself.
But who could have known that one fall from a horse would shatter all those hopes?
Under the bright spring sun, Gu Youning suddenly felt a sting in her nose. She realized that the hardest thing in this world was when things didn't go as one wished. You thought that as long as you walked along that road, a splendid future lay ahead—only to find, halfway there, a great pit in your path.
She fought down the bitterness rising in her throat and said gently, "Take it one step at a time. That you can think this way now is a very good sign. You do have learning, you know. In a few years, if the chance arises, perhaps you could find work at a private school, helping to teach."
Truthfully, Gu Youning had little confidence in her own words—this was hardly something that could be arranged so easily, especially for slaves registered to a prince's household.
But Gu Yueqiu seemed genuinely comforted. He broke into a bright smile and, in high spirits, told Gu Youning about his plans.
Knowing that Gu Youning was going to the street to buy some needles and thread, Gu Yueqiu mentioned, "Yesterday while reading, I came across mention of a collected anthology of classical commentaries, gathering the interpretations of Cheng, Zhu, Lu, and other masters. I'd very much like to see it. If you have time, Elder Sister, could you look for it at the book market?"
Since Gu Yueqiu had asked, Gu Youning quickly agreed, carefully noting down the title. "I'll go find it for you right away!"