The work of a veterinary assistant was complicated and tedious. Sometimes it involved handling reception duties, other times assisting doctors with examinations and treatments for animal patients.
That day, a stray little orange cat had been brought in by a soft hearted “cat mom.” During the blood draw, the cat struggled violently. Ran Fan accidentally lost his grip and in an instant the skin on the back of his hand split open. Flesh tore and beads of blood flowed steadily, spreading across the tabletop.
The cat’s owner was frightened out of her wits and clutched the cat while apologizing over and over again.
Ran Fan repeatedly assured her that he was fine, taking responsibility himself and saying it was his own mistake, urging her not to worry.
After the situation was resolved, several colleagues gathered around him. Some guessed he hadn’t slept enough, others wondered if he had caught a chill.
Everyone could tell he was distracted and not fully present yet not a single person suggested that something might be wrong with his relationship.
There was no special reason for that. After knowing him for several years, Ran Fan, while in a romantic relationship, had always carried an air of gentle stability, as though immersed in happiness. That kind of calm, settled joy that radiated from the inside out could not exist without a truly harmonious love.
Ran Fan and his lover must have an excellent relationship.
When he was finally alone, Ran Fan himself thought, dazed and helpless: their relationship had always been good.
Hadn’t it?
Even now, he still couldn’t understand it.
Ran Fan was four years older than Jiang Minyu. The two of them had known each other since they were very young.
In the first year of middle school, Ran Fan’s parents divorced.
His mother failed to gain custody. Passively, he followed his father, moved to a new home and transferred to a new school.
In the unfamiliar environment, everything in his life was brand new. Besides studying, Ran Fan also had to wash dishes, mop floors and prepare three meals a day for the household.
His father was not a harsh man. He didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, didn’t hit people and had no bad habits, just an ordinary person.
The separation of his parents hadn’t involved the dramatic conflicts seen in television dramas. It was simply that two ordinary people could no longer live together, so they parted ways.
Studying was something Ran Fan took the initiative to do. Housework, too, was something he did of his own accord. No one forced him. He matured early. Before learning to feel sorry for himself, he learned to feel sorry for others. Every day after school, without needing to be reminded, he went home to cook and obediently waited for his father, who often returned late from work.
All it took was a single word of praise to make him happy for a long time.
One day, before it was even ten o’clock at night, someone knocked on the door.
Ran Fan thought his father had come home. He happily went to open it, only to see a child standing there, thin, chin tilted up, face set tightly.
The child asked, “Is there any food?”
That child was Jiang Minyu.
Jiang Minyu lived upstairs from Ran Fan, also in a single parent household.
His situation was even worse than Ran Fan’s. His mother was hardly ever home. With no one to look after him and no money on hand, he often went without meals. When hunger became unbearable, he came knocking on Ran Fan’s door.
Ran Fan let him in.
From that point on, the two of them became companions.
They ate together, did homework together and sat together in front of the not so large television to watch shows.
Even though they weren’t the same age, Jiang Minyu still insisted on waiting by the roadside every day for half an hour, walking the route to and from school together with Ran Fan, who attended a different school. Over time, he grew reluctant to return home. Out of ten days, seven were spent living with Ran Fan.
That kind of inseparable companionship lasted for more than ten years.
During that time, the two sentences Jiang Minyu said most often were: “Where did you run off to?” and “Pay less attention to other people.”
Later, they transitioned from friends to lovers and their relationship became even more harmonious.
They rarely argued. The number of fights they had could be counted on one hand. Looking back, his memories were always studded with liveliness and joy.
But they didn’t even make it to nightfall.
Just after noon, Ran Fan took leave from work and returned home, summoning his courage to properly face this sudden disaster.
After wandering for a long time, he finally entered the apartment, only to realize in panic that there was no one inside. He had come back to nothing.
Jiang Minyu wasn’t there.
And neither were Jiang Minyu’s belongings.
In that familiar space, so many items had originally been arranged according to Jiang Minyu’s preferences, filled with traces of him. With all of those suddenly removed, it was as if a complete human body had been hollowed out, its organs torn away, leaving behind a chilling emptiness stripped of life.
Ran Fan stood frozen in place, his mind completely blank.
He called Jiang Minyu.
No one answered.
He called again.
Still no answer.
With no choice, he switched to sending messages.
【Where are you?】
【Are you moving out?】
He realized he had asked something painfully obvious but he didn’t withdraw the message. His hands were trembling uncontrollably.
【Let’s meet. Let’s talk in person.】
Jiang Minyu didn’t ask when.
He simply sent back an address.
Ran Fan waited a long time before receiving the reply.
The two of them met at a cafe.
On the way there, Ran Fan had countless things he wanted to say yet when he truly saw Jiang Minyu, he could only stare at him in a daze, his eyes reddening uncontrollably.
Jiang Minyu sat across from him, backlit by the window. His figure seemed to melt into the light, like a piece of jade sculpture painstakingly carved by a master craftsman.
Many media outlets had recently cited him as a representative of an Eastern beauty that transcended gender. There was no exaggeration in those words and yet, what could not quite be articulated was the rose colored flame burning and flowing within that beauty, dyeing the white jade statue into one of red jade.
Jiang Minyu said, “I’ve already taken all my things. You can change the password lock if you want. Even if you don’t, I won’t be going back.”
“My phone number and app accounts won’t change. If you want to contact me, you still can. If you run into any difficulties in the future, I’ll help you but if there’s nothing else, I hope you won’t come looking for me on your own.”
Ran Fan felt as though sharp thorns were lodged in his throat. He asked with difficulty, “Why do you want to break up?”
“We already talked about it this morning.”
Ran Fan lifted his head and asked again, “Why do you want to break up?”
He pleaded, “You have to make it clear. I can’t not understand.”
Jiang Minyu frowned. After pausing several times, his irritation only deepened. “Do I really have to say it out loud? Wouldn’t it be better to end things here?”
Ran Fan could only shake his head.
Jiang Minyu clenched his jaw. He turned his gaze away, his voice rising. “Because I’ve realized it, I’ve become aware of it!”
It was difficult at first but once the words were spoken, it was like a massive stone dropping to the ground. Jiang Minyu grew calmer the more he spoke, completely avoiding Ran Fan’s face. “If you are my lover and people see it, I would feel ashamed.”
Ran Fan’s vision blurred with moisture.
Through that blur, he noticed a dazzling, eye catching watch on Jiang Minyu’s wrist, one he hadn’t seen that morning.
He had once seen a similar watch in Jiang Minyu’s shopping cart. The price had equaled ten years of hard earned wages for an ordinary citizen.
He remembered watching Jiang Minyu browse it several times and had proactively suggested that he save up and buy it as a birthday gift for him the following year.
Jiang Minyu had rejected him outright. “By the time you save up, it’ll already be outdated. Might as well buy it myself.”
Then he had added, “I only noticed it because some idiot teammate was wearing one. I don’t actually want it that badly.”
Now, the watch on Jiang Minyu’s wrist cost more than ten times the price of that one.
Ran Fan’s entire face slowly flushed red. He heard Jiang Minyu pull back his chair and stand up, then lift it again.
“Minyu?”
The hand he reached out stretched into empty air.
Jiang Minyu didn’t want to stay even a moment longer. He left behind a final, decisive sentence and strode away.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry but I think I deserve something better.”
Footsteps sounded, then faded away. The buzzing of tinnitus lingered endlessly in his ears.
Ran Fan wept silently. After an unknown length of time, he stood up and chased after him.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know that, if he still had any pride, he shouldn’t pursue him but what filled his mind was that empty apartment, that home without Jiang Minyu in it.
The two of them had been together for far too long. So long that every morning when he woke up, eight parts of Ran Fan’s heart belonged to Jiang Minyu and only two parts were left for himself.
As the days stretched on, Jiang Minyu had become the center of his life, the center of his very existence.
At this point, Ran Fan couldn’t imagine how a person was supposed to go on living after tearing himself in half.
“Minyu, don’t go. Minyu.”
Ran Fan caught sight of Jiang Minyu’s company car.
He wanted to shout but feared that people on the street might hear his name and that it would affect him.
He ran forward, his steps unsteady, staggering like an abandoned cat or dog that had been kicked aside, still unwilling to give up, still hoping for a trace of kindness.
He chased and chased.
Of course, he couldn’t catch up.
Ran Fan’s tears dripped onto the back of the hand bracing against his knee. His breathing grew faster and faster, until suddenly, his vision plunged into dense, inky darkness.
As he lost all sense of direction, the sound of a car pulling to a stop reached his ears.
A car door opened and closed.
A hand came to rest on Ran Fan’s back.
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
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← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Let’s break upChapter 2 · A hand landed on Ran Fan’s backChapter 3 · Jiang Wenyu’s biological fatherChapter 4 · Li Yang kissed him againChapter 5 · Could you come to the hospital?Chapter 6 · I hope you can give birthChapter 7 · Are you bothered by the fact that I am Jiang Wenyu’s biological father?Chapter 8 · Don’t you think I’m ordinary?Chapter 9 · Don’t consider it me going back on my wordChapter 10 · You are a truly remarkable personChapter 11 · Would you say you’re cold-hearted towards Ran Fan?Chapter 12 · Dr. Ran resigned several months ago.Chapter 13 · Can we meet up?Chapter 14 · You also know the child’s fatherChapter 15 · You are the most important to meChapter 16 · Extra 1Chapter 17 · Extra 2Chapter 18 · Extra 3