The sky suddenly released a fine drizzle, a rain so light it was like mist, blurring the road into a hazy stretch.
When the curtain of rain thickened, Li Yang once again saw someone home.
What was different this time was that he crossed the threshold and stepped into the residence of Ran Fan, a place belonging to someone he was almost a stranger to, having met only twice.
The entryway was bright, the décor washed in warm twilight tones. The entire apartment was tidy and immaculate, carrying a faint fragrance of grass, wood and flowers.
Following the scent and looking inward, there was a room filled with plants. A single glance revealed a rich variety, lush, verdant, branches and leaves flourishing. Among them, two white hydrangeas and moonflowers stood out the most, both in perfect bloom.
People often say that those who carefully tend flowers truly love life. In Ran Fan, the truth of that saying was clearly visible.
Li Yang withdrew his gaze and spoke to Ran Fan, who was awkwardly rummaging through a cabinet in search of new slippers. “It’s fine, you don’t need to busy yourself. I can wear the old ones.”
Naturally, that would not do.
Ran Fan hurried to find slippers, then busied himself again making tea and pouring water for Li Yang, looking around for fruit.
“You wrapped zongzi?” Li Yang asked when he noticed the unfinished leftovers still on the dining table.
“I wrapped some.”
“Home style zongzi. I haven’t seen those in a long time.”
Ran Fan guessed Li Yang was simply making conversation and replied without much thought. “Would you like to have some?” He added immediately, “If you don’t mind.”
“Sure, if it’s convenient for you.”
Ran Fan went into the kitchen, took out the zongzi he had just put into the refrigerator and set water to boil.
His movements were mechanical, while his mind drifted into emptiness.
He didn’t know what he was doing.
Outside Jiang Wenyu’s company, Li Yang had helped him and asked what he needed.
He had answered that he didn’t want to be alone right now.
At the time, he had been in so much pain that he spoke his loneliness out loud. By the time he got into Li Yang’s car, his mind had already cleared and he hadn’t really expected Li Yang to nod and actually follow through, bringing him all the way home.
Ran Fan covered the pot and, amid the stifling steam, looked toward the living room.
Li Yang wore a beige wool coat that reached his thighs, paired with finely tailored dress pants. Broad shoulders, long legs, a sharply defined waist, everything about him was taut and clean.
He was Jiang Wenyu’s father, more than a generation older than Ran Fan yet neither his figure nor his appearance bore the marks one would expect of that age.
No, there were marks but they were different from those of youth. His features, his eyes and brows, every gesture carried the maturity forged by time and experience: a figure of authority, a dominator whom others looked up to.
An elder.
He was handsome. Unlike Jiang Wenyu’s beauty, which blurred the boundaries of gender, his was firmer, more resolute.
But when he stood there, no one would truly notice his looks. Splendid flowers invite admiration; sheer cliffs and abyssal precipices inspire only awe.
Without realizing it, the man stepped closer. “Do you need any help?”
Ran Fan came back to himself and shook his head. “No.”
Li Yang did not insist, his gaze settling on the refrigerator door.
Realizing he was looking at the couple’s photo that had yet to be taken down, Ran Fan’s expression grew awkward.
Just as he was about to speak, Li Yang spoke first. “The boy he’s with now has known him for over half a year but they only got together recently.”
“When you were still together, the other party contacted him several times. He refused. There was no overlapping infidelity.”
Ran Fan paused, lowered his head and said softly, “I know. He’s not that kind of person.”
After saying it, he suddenly found it ironic. What did he really know about Jiang Wenyu?
Even if he knew, people change.
In the silence, the zongzi finished cooking.
Ran Fan fished them out and plunged them into cold water. Seeing there were no side dishes, he hastily stir fried an egg.
Even so, the meal was still simple, almost out of place when set before Li Yang.
Yet Li Yang sat down in what used to be Jiang Wenyu’s usual seat and began eating the zongzi and eggs.
Ran Fan couldn’t just stare at him eating, so he picked up his own chopsticks as well.
After the meal, aside from Li Yang offering a couple of compliments on Ran Fan’s cooking, the two had little else to say.
When night fell, Li Yang left.
Ran Fan returned to the bedroom and lay down in the dark. In a new wave, tears fell again, shallow at first, then deeper, from silence into continuous sobbing.
The scene he had witnessed at the company replayed endlessly in his mind.
He was not someone who cried easily. He had never cried like this before, day after day. He cried for an unknown length of time, until the sound of the doorbell shattered the darkness.
Ran Fan opened the door in a daze and to his surprise found Li Yang, who had left, returning once more.
The man who had been repeatedly yearned for and repeatedly resented by the young Jiang Wenyu stood like a towering, indistinct rock mountain, regarding his loss of composure and desolation with apparent indifference.
He extended his hand and offered a carefully wrapped box of red wine.
It was an exceedingly expensive bottle of wine.
It came from some overseas estate whose name Ran Fan was not worthy of knowing, born in a vintage that had already grown old with time.
Ran Fan accepted it in a daze, just as he accepted, in the same daze, the intrusion of the wine’s owner into this night.
At first, Ran Fan was still aware that being together with Li Yang like this could be called strange, even bizarre.
But after a few more drinks, he no longer had the strength to maintain the illusion of calm he had been forcing upon himself.
He collapsed and unraveled on his own, crumbling into defeat, until his tears were spent. Then he asked Li Yang, “Sir, am I very ridiculous?”
Without waiting for an answer, he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
Li Yang watched him, his thoughts drifting far away, returning to certain moments from his youth.
To his own past.
Everyone has been young once. When Li Yang was young, he too had loved someone, not a shallow or fleeting affection but a love held up with true sincerity, just like Ran Fan’s.
There had once been a person who had made Li Yang clearly and firmly recognize his own orientation, prompting him to decide that he would never marry or have children for the rest of his life.
It was precisely because of this that the relationship met with obstruction from the old master at home. Power and authority came down like a cudgel from above, striking again and again, an experience that Li Yang, then powerless to resist, would never forget for the rest of his life.
From that point on, throughout the years that followed, Li Yang never again opened his heart to love anyone.
Ironically, after he inherited the family, he once went looking for that lover from long ago. That person was still there yet the feelings they once shared could no longer be retrieved.
Before he found him, Li Yang believed his love had been deep. After finding him, that love instead became blurred, its flavor altered beyond recognition.
Only then did he understand that a love born in youth is immeasurably precious. Once that season of youth is missed, it becomes exceedingly difficult to love another person with the same purity.
Love itself is a scarce ability.
A flawless love is even more rare.
Li Yang came to Ran Fan’s side and lifted him into his arms.
When he set him down on the bed, Ran Fan woke up.
He lay there with his eyes open, his gaze first damp and unfocused. When he recognized Li Yang’s face, his throat bobbed once. His eyes went still, staring blankly and for a long while at Li Yang, lost in a daze.
Li Yang asked, “Are you thinking about Jiang Wenyu?”
Ran Fan pressed his lips together. Having his hidden thoughts seen through and exposed so easily made him feel despair toward himself.
At that moment, the world before his eyes darkened and a soft sensation suddenly covered his lips.
A kiss.
Carrying a trace of wine, lingering and gentle, not deep enough to swallow reason.
Ran Fan’s body stiffened. He widened his eyes in shock.
The next instant, Li Yang gently stroked his cheek and kissed him again.
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
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The translator promises nothing except gratitude and possibly more chapters.
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← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Let’s break upChapter 2 · A hand landed on Ran Fan’s backChapter 3 · Jiang Wenyu’s biological fatherChapter 4 · Li Yang kissed him againChapter 5 · Could you come to the hospital?Chapter 6 · I hope you can give birthChapter 7 · Are you bothered by the fact that I am Jiang Wenyu’s biological father?Chapter 8 · Don’t you think I’m ordinary?Chapter 9 · Don’t consider it me going back on my wordChapter 10 · You are a truly remarkable personChapter 11 · Would you say you’re cold-hearted towards Ran Fan?Chapter 12 · Dr. Ran resigned several months ago.Chapter 13 · Can we meet up?Chapter 14 · You also know the child’s fatherChapter 15 · You are the most important to meChapter 16 · Extra 1Chapter 17 · Extra 2Chapter 18 · Extra 3