“I think I’m scared of the day when you’ll end up being resented by Lee Danbi.”
Actually, although I told Cha Woon that I fully trusted Lee Danbi’s choice, the truth was that I felt anxious about it. I could feel a deep-seated fear in my heart; I was afraid that the same thing that happened during the Prism days would repeat itself.
“Do you know why Yutae-hyung left Prism? We did that to him. The real problem was our inferiority complex, yet to an innocent person, we told him to get out!”
Just like any other idol group, Prism faced numerous challenges behind the scenes despite their outward success. And among those hardships, what led to my withdrawal was not an external problem, but an internal one.
The most important reason might be something else, but the final deciding reason was that.
It would have been easier if I could blame all the problems on Kang Hyukwoo, but the reality didn’t flow as easily as I had hoped.
‘If I hadn’t heard those words from a member, I might have continued to stay with Prism.’
It was quite a blow, even for someone like me, to be blamed not by Kang Hyukwoo, whose flawed character I had known from the start, but by a member I had allowed into my heart.
“I’m suffering so much because of you, hyung. I even regret that we debuted together. Hyung, I feel like I could be happy if only you disappeared.”
Yeah, like the time when a member asked me to leave the team.
Of course, that was just one person’s opinion, and the majority of the members didn’t want that.
“It’s just that everyone is sensitive right now. Please, think it over one more time, hyung. Okay?”
“What are you talking about?! Why are you leaving, hyung!”
I remembered how Jay and Lee Chise had been particularly resistant to the idea that they clung to me and begged me to stay until the very end.
“…….”
Cha Woon didn’t say anything, didn’t even hold on to me, just stood there, pale as a sheet. Judging from what he had just poured out to me earlier, he seemed to regret not being able to stop that situation.
‘Cha Woon had relied on me a lot since our trainee days, so it must have been a significant shock for him.’
Looking back now, I realized that I must have made a mistake from the start.
‘I didn’t start from the same starting line as the other Prism members.’
I didn’t debut with Prism from the beginning.
The truth was, I debuted as a solo artist first, gained recognition from the public, and then, as the main producer, chose the members—who were still debut-line trainees at the time—to form Prism.
From the start, we were never on equal footing or shared the same experiences. From skill to experience, career, and position, there was nothing that was equal between us.
— Why are they making someone, who’s already a successful solo artist, debut again in a group? Seriously, I can’t understand what RH was thinking lololol. Such a ridiculous move.
— It’s so obvious they’re trying to bundle him and sell him as a part of package deal. I even felt bad for him now. He grabbed this small company by the collar and pulled them up, they should just leave him alone.
— Man, how old is the age difference between Seo Yutae and the youngest there? Five years? And they’re his juniors. Seo Yutae’s temper is no joke, won’t the kids be suffocated living with him?
The public naturally reacted negatively when someone who had already achieved solo success decided to re-debut in a group. However, with a debut album that I poured my heart and soul into, public opinion noticeably shifted, and PRISM became a huge hit, appearing like a comet.
“Of course, with Yutae-hyung on our side, there’s no way we could fail! If it weren’t for him, we might have taken a much longer route.”
At first, the members seemed overjoyed by their successful debut. They thanked me for choosing good songs for the debut album and for bringing a lot of hype early on.
And even though the public sometimes criticized them by comparing them to me, they said that the would catch up by working harder, and they even started paying more attention to me.
However, the kindness and consideration that seemed endless gradually disappeared as Prism’s years of experience went by.
The anxiety of being chased by the rising juniors, irregular and extremely insufficient sleep, the flood of malicious comments and rumors from an unspecified majority, and the constant gaslighting from Kang Hyukwoo had begun to erode their peace of mind.
— The camera director is only focusing on Seo Yutae, crazy hahaha why do they keep filming him when he’s not even lip-syncing?
— Seo Yutae’s talent is like the devil’s. Maybe it would have been a happier choice for everyone if he had just stayed solo … honestly, the other members look so pitiful. They haven’t even debuted for that long.
Seeing posts that seemed to sow discord between colleagues they should rely on, with a mind that’s already very sensitive, it was almost inevitable that they would develop unhealthy thoughts.
‘If you’re human, it’s only natural that you would feel that way.’
As time passed, such malicious comments gradually decreased, and Prism was recognized by the public as a skilled idol group. However, some persistent trolls continued to bring up past events in an attempt to sway public opinion, and the members grew more and more sensitive when they saw that.
— How many years have they been active, and he still can’t catch up to Seo Yutae? It’s tiring to see him perform on stage when he has nothing to show.
No, it’s not
members
. It might be more accurate to say
one member
.
Because it was Jo Inchan, one of the Prism members, who was hit much harder than I ever imagined.
“Why do people still only look for Seo Yutae, Seo Yutae, Seo Yutae, even though I’ve worked this hard? At this point, it’s about time to stop. Am I really that lacking? Is it because I’m just playing the supporting character?”
‘At first, I thought it was just a complaint because he was being overly sensitive.’
It was only natural that the center would attract people’s attention, and that the main dancer would be the best dancer. I couldn’t understand why that guy would be so bothered by those comments.
“I told you, don’t believe the few malicious comments as if they’re true. If those nonsense rumors were true, I’d already be a freak who treats our manager-hyung like a servant and beats up my members to discipline them, right?”
At that time, when I was younger, more immature, and rougher, I firmly cut off his words. Perhaps back then, overwhelmed with various issues related to my father, I didn’t have enough capacity to patiently listen to what he had to say. Of course, Jo Inchan must have had his own circumstances, but that’s how it was for me.
“Even without me, you would have definitely succeeded. I can swear on everything I have that it’s the truth. If you just work hard, your time to shine will come soon. So, don’t be swayed by what people say and focus on your practice. If you’re afraid of falling behind, you shouldn’t waste your time looking at such things.”
With my dry response, the situation seemed to come to an end, at least for the moment.
But afterward, I deeply regretted not giving more thought to his nervousness and anxiety.
“Call manager-hyung!”
“Call an ambulance! He can’t get up!”
One day, that guy collapsed in the practice room.
‘If only I had paid more attention, I would have realized that something was wrong.’
Even before the accident happened, I had noticed that something was a bit off with his body movements. But I didn’t think much of it. It was rare to find someone who frequently danced intensely and still had perfectly healthy bones or muscles. Even I lived with pain every day, so I thought it was just an unavoidable part of it.
And he really foolishly kept practicing whenever he felt anxious, just as I told him to, and I thought it was admirable and didn’t stop him.
However, the anxiety soon led to excessive practice, and the excessive practice led to an injury.
“Ugh, ah! … Ahh!”
“…….”
When I saw him curling up on the floor, writhing in excruciating pain, I was frozen in place, unable to utter a single word. It felt as though all the blood in my body had drained away.
The diagnosis was a torn
Anterior Cruciate Ligament
1
.
No matter how good the treatment is, there is no such thing as a perfect cure. Treatment is just a desperate attempt to prevent things from getting worse and to maintain the current condition as much as possible.
It wasn’t until then that I realized this.
In that worst-case scenario, ironically, hardships continuously to befall him
— Isn’t this enough to call him the ultimate-tier idol rapper? I wish Lee Chise appear on a hip-hop program.
└ It’s a bit unfair to just label Lee Chise as an idol rapper. He was originally part of the hip-hop scene. He’s just a rapper who happens to be good-looking and dances well, which is why he’s also an idol.
└ agree hahahahahahahaha ah, the sense of deprivation is no joke.
└ At first, I thought they got popular just because of Seo Yutae, but this guy is seriously insane. If you look up his live performances from his debut days, they’re all perfect.
— ( Stage Video Compilation) The main vocalist 100% slayed the song that Seo Yutae made to fight him.
└
Seo Yutae
: Scared? ,
Seo Yuseong
: Bring it on
└ The main vocalist’s part difficulty is on the next level, but he’s singing this live? Sometimes, I can’t handle their venom…..
└ As expected, he’s Seo Yutae’s little brother. Both siblings are absolute geniuses.
While he was recovering from knee surgery and undergoing rehabilitation, the other members gradually started to stand out.
Your time to shine will come soon.
As if to prove those words, the members gradually blossomed with their talents. And at the forefront of that was Lee Chise and Seo Yuseong, who possessed unparalleled talents even within the group.
That guy, dressed in a white hospital gown, was quietly watching the members shining on TV. Then, he said this without even glancing at me.
“Hyung, why on earth did you put me in this group? Was it to torment me?”
I couldn’t come up with an answer to that question.
And then I thought, ‘
Ah, my choices and my existence have made the members sick
.’
Perhaps it was shocking for Jo Inchan to be left behind even by the members who started from the same starting line as him, because after that, he started acting more and more strange.
“In the end, it was talent that mattered, not effort.”
“If it weren’t for you, hyung, I wouldn’t have debuted as a member of Prism.”
He started spending all day scrolling through comments, and began using the word “
talent
” as casually as eating meals. And while he seemed fine around others, he would show hostility, resentment, and anxiety whenever he was around me.
Being the guilty person I was at the time, I tried to accept everything, but our relationship, which was precariously maintained, completely ended on the day one of the scandals about me broke.
“Hyung, I feel like I could be happy if only you disappeared. Honestly, you’re just a nuisance now. You’re only harming the group’s image. Aren’t you being too selfish?”
After hearing those words, I decided to leave Prism.
“Where are you going? You’ve been keeping your mouth shut this whole time, so why are you acting like this all of a sudden?!”
He seemed quite flustered, even though he had hoped for me to disappear so badly. I guessed that his desperate cry was out of fear of being blamed by the other members, so I even promised to keep quiet.
“My leg hurts. Are you still going to leave me?”
But perhaps that’s not what he wanted, as he became even angrier. And despite his injured leg, he chased after me until the end, so I sent him away with harsh words.
This story was known only to me, that guy, also Cha Woon and Kang Hyukwoo, who witnessed everything from the sidelines.
‘Because I promised not to tell anyone, and there was also a threat from Kang Hyukwoo.’
The other members asked me to tell them why I left the team, but there was no way I could share this story with them. This was because the other members tended to take my side in everything.
I had already left the team, and for Prism’s survival, it would be better for those who remained to maintain good relations with each other.
It was never about his lack of effort, or that he wasn’t talented enough to dream of becoming a celebrity. If that had been the case, I wouldn’t have chosen him as a debut member.
The only problem was that the members next to him were me, Seo Yuseong, and Lee Chise.
Lee Danbi had a lot in common with that guy.
Because once again, the person next to Lee Danbi was
me
, and there were other talented members.
“So, hyung, of all people, at the very least you … please don’t say those words to me.”
I thought to myself as I stared at Lee Danbi’s face while he said those words.
Am I truly repeating the same mistake?
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Translator’s Corner:
Anterior Cruciate Ligament
(ACL) is is one of the two cruciate ligaments that aids in stabilizing the knee joint (basically located in the middle of the knee). ↩︎
Prism’s lore dropped, who’s happy … not me….