[The deceased Oh Suhee]
I met Lim Seunghoon before I was cast by Kang Hyukwoo and taken in by Choi Jeokhyeon—in other words, during the time when I was struggling to make ends meet after my mother passed away.
“Father, are you going to keep drinking like that?”
“…….”
After my mother passed away, my father seemed to completely lose his grip on reality and stopped doing anything altogether. He wasn’t a particularly capable father before, but after her death, he became completely uncontrollable.
“Hyung, what about Father?”
“…I guess Father still needs time.”
Looking at my father, who had abandoned everything from work to household responsibilities, I realized that I had to get my act together. It wasn’t as if the pain of losing my mother was something I could easily bear.
“It’s okay. I’ll take responsibility and raise you.”
I was simply doing my best to protect Seo Yuseong, who was still so young.
Perhaps because he had an unusually quiet and reserved personality from an early age, Seo Yuseong seemed entirely unaffected by our mother’s death. He went about his daily routine without crying or showing any signs of loneliness. He did everyday things like going to school, doing his homework, and sleeping well.
“…Don’t.”
He often went into our father’s tightly shut room and seemed to say something to him. Maybe he didn’t want me to hear, as he spoke in such a small voice that I couldn’t clearly make out what he was saying.
No matter how much he pretended to be fine, what child wouldn’t be affected by the absence of a parent? I believed that, after our mother’s death, Seo Yuseong, who couldn’t grow attached to our father, was trying his best in his own way.
“Hey, your younger brother is not normal.”
Why did my father say that to me?
I had noticed for a long time that Seo Yuseong’s personality was different from the other children. But I tried my best to help him share emotions and build relationships with others, just like the other children. That’s why I still thought that my father, who had never been involved in Seo Yuseong’s upbringing, had no right to say anything about him.
Anyway, at that time, seeing Seo Yuseong, who was trying to fill the gap left by our parents and live diligently through me, I made a firm resolution to take responsibility for our family at any cost. So, I started working and skipped school frequently. However, there were limits to the part-time jobs a minor could do, and on one day in April, I faced a major turning point.
“I’m looking forward to the school trip!”
“My mom said she’d pack snacks for me!”
I overheard one of Seo Yuseong’s classmates talking about the school trip on the way home from school.
I immediately called Seo Yuseong’s homeroom teacher, and I was told,
“I handed out the notice, didn’t you check it?
“
After hanging up the phone, I grabbed Seo Yuseong as soon as he got home and yelled at him in a fit of anger.
“Seo Yuseong, you should have told me that you’re going on the school trip next month. There are preparations to be made….”
“Hyung, I don’t want to go on the school trip.”
And as soon as I saw Seo Yuseong’s expressionless face, I thought, ‘
Oh no
‘.
What was going through Seo Yuseong’s mind as he walked away from his excited friends and threw the notice in the trash can outside to prevent me from finding out about it? When I thought of that, I was filled with an unbearable emotion, so I pulled Seo Yuseong’s shoulder into a hug.
“Stop talking nonsense and go. There’s a reason why everyone else is doing it.”
I needed a little more money.
If he was going, he should at least have enough money to buy some snacks to eat with friends and take some pictures.
While I was desperately searching high and low, I stumbled upon a competition.
“…A street dance battle?”
As I lingered around, eyeing the prize money written on a large poster, it was Lim Seunghoon who approached me. He was a member of the hip-hop dance team participating in the competition, and was waiting in line to submit the application form.
“Woow, you’re really tall. I haven’t seen your face before … are you a participant? Just fill out your name and personal information here and submit it!”
I absentmindedly accepted the paper that Lim Seunghoon handed me.
The prize was important, but the stage I had dreamed of for so long was right in front of me.
There was no reason to hesitate.
“It’s important to establish dominance early on. It’s also crucial to appeal to the judges. And absolutely no touching. Got it?”
I learned the basic rules of the competition from Lim Seunghoon’s brief explanation and picked up a few tips of my own.
“Winner, Seo Yutae!”
“Woaaaaaah!”
And in my first ever competition, I won the first place.
With the prize money, I successfully managed to give Seo Yuseong a decent pocket money. I also kept in touch with Lim Seunghoon, who had started following me around, and I swept up the prize money from various dance competitions.
However, even though the prize money provided a little breathing space in my difficult life, I still considered it more important to buy Seo Yuseong better clothes and at least one more book than to satisfy my own immediate hunger.
‘Seo Yuseong is much smarter than me, and he even managed to get into a prestigious university while being an idol….’
If a child has talent, isn’t it the parent’s role to help them nurture it?
I could hardly remember what I did for Seo Yuseong now, but at the time, I thought it was only natural.
When I was living the life of being full from such pride, Lim Seunghoon would occasionally force me to eat things like triangle kimbap or a cup of ramen.
“Just leave me alone. Don’t waste money on me.”
“You need to eat more! You’re still in your growth period. I don’t think you need to grow any taller, but you should eat as much as your size!”
“I don’t need it.”
“…You’re going to collapse if you keep this up. A human’s body isn’t a machine. What on earth is your father doing? If I were your father, I wouldn’t let you be like this … I’ve never seen a genius like you before. You’re literally shining right in front of me. It makes me want to cry because you’re too talented to be wasted like this, damn it.”
“It’s okay. Crying won’t change anything.”
Unlike with Choi Jeokhyeon and the other members of Prism, Lim Seunghoon and I did not develop a very close relationship.
There was a huge gap between Lim Seunghoon, who wasn’t born with a silver spoon but lived a stable and healthy life under the protection of his loving family, and me, who had to struggle to make a living but still couldn’t give up on my dreams.
“Ah, I’m having a party with my family tonight! I guess my dad noticed I was feeling down after failing the preliminary round. I have to go now, sorry.”
“I also have to go home and make dinner for my younger brother. I need to practice too.”
“Okay! See you next time!”
What we had was different, and the lives we lived were different.
It was something I was already used to, as I had always struggled to fit in with my peers. What could I do? I was born this way. My life was too busy to be moping about it.
We had a just-right kind of relationship where we watched over each other’s lives and helped each other out to a reasonable extent.
But because we had that kind of relationship, I thought Lim Seunghoon was a good person.
How many people in this world would take the initiative to talk to someone they didn’t know and show them kindness?
While I was making money through dancing and balancing regular part-time jobs, Lim Seunghoon gradually disappeared from competitions. Since I wasn’t particularly interested in other people’s lives, I didn’t go out of my way to look for him. But according to the stories that naturally came to me, it seemed that Lim Seunghoon had quit dancing.
Despite feeling somewhat empty, I continued to participate in competitions and festivals. It was at the backstage of one of these festivals that I received a trainee contract offer from Kang Hyukwoo.
“I’m the casting manager for the newly established RH Entertainment …
Have you ever thought about becoming an idol?
”
I was happy to be given the opportunity to take a step closer to my dream.
But I was hesitant because I couldn’t continue working part-time if I joined the company as a trainee…..
“You wouldn’t want to waste your whole life just taking care of your family, would you? I’ll help you.”
Then, I met Choi Jeokhyeon.
And I achieved the dream I always desired and created a second family called Prism.
One day, while I was working tirelessly through the night, driven by the determination that I had to take responsibility for those I had brought in and make Prism successful, I received a phone call.
“Yutae-ya, can I talk to you for a moment?”
It was Lim Seunghoon.
Lim Seunghoon called me and explained that he had incurred a large debt for his parents’ medical bills. He then cautiously asked if I could lend him some money.
I had already made a successful debut and was making a generous amount of money from my solo activities, so I lent it to him without a second thought.
I wasn’t the kind of person who would give money to just anyone. However, I just thought that it was okay if Lim Seunghoon didn’t pay me back because I had received some things from him.
‘How much did I lend him back then? I don’t even remember.’
After that, I brought him in and hired him as a manager because he was unable to get a proper job since he spent all his time nursing his parents. Perhaps feeling some sense of debt to me, Lim Seunghoon began to work diligently for the members of Prism.
“The schedule is way too tight. If the travel time is this rushed, there’s bound to be an accident. Please reconsider the schedule one more time.”
Actively expressing opinions to the company for our health and safety.
“Since the members are in their growth period, we need to constantly check the length of their clothes and the size of their shoes. Especially Jay! He’s growing pretty fast, so please make sure to check carefully.”
Keeping in constant communication with the staff so that I didn’t have to worry about such things.
“Hey guys, what do you want to eat? Just tell me! I’ll go and buy it for you!”
“I’ll pick up Inchan from the hospital, so please wait a little.”
Going out of his way to take care of every single member, those kinds of actions.
Lim Seunghoon was a really competent manager.
Seeing my trust in him, the members of Prism began to open their hearts to Lim Seunghoon little by little.
Except for a few.
“…Do we really have to work with that person? I have a bad feeling….”
“…….”
Jay and Seo Yuseong.
For some reason, the two of them seemed to dislike Lim Seunghoon.
When I asked them the reason, Jay simply repeated the phrase “
I just have a bad feeling about him
“, while Seo Yuseong, as always, remained silent. Lee Chise seemed to know the reason, as he just laughed it off when the two were drawing a line against Lim Seunghoon, but he didn’t give me any hints.
“You two, how do you plan to live in society if you keep hating people that much?”
“I don’t want to hear that from you, hyung.”
“Shut up, Yoo Jay. Just because you’re a little older now, you’re talking back to me that sharply?”
It wasn’t the first time that Jay and Seo Yuseong disliked someone, and since Lim Seunghoon had supported us well during Prism’s activities, I didn’t take their reactions too seriously.
And the years passed with my trust in him remained unchanged.
After writing my suicide note, I pondered who I should entrust it to.
Choi Jeokhyeon wasn’t by my side at the time, and it was obvious that the members of Prism would have sensed something was amiss—they would have cried and made a scene in an attempt to stop me.
Therefore, after excluding them from my limited number of relationships, I entrusted my suicide note to the only remaining person, and that decision led to this current situation.
‘…Did he really betray me?’
I couldn’t even be sure of that.
Perhaps it might be more accurate to say that
I don’t want to doubt him
.
“Yutae-ya, can’t you think about it one more time?”
Lim Seunghoon, who received my suicide note, said those words while shedding tears.
I believed in that sadness.
I believed in the time we spent together.
And yet, this was the outcome—nothing but misery.
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Translator’s Corner:
This story would only have 30 chapters instead of 300 if only MC didn’t think of the maknae line too much like children and took their words seriously …..
But who can blame him tho …. he gave him food while he was starving … I would 100% do the same too….
Anyway, this is one of my fav chapter because here you can see how MC was
raised
(he raised himself). He was still minor when his mother passed away and had to raise Seo Yuseong. That’s why he acted too much like a parent instead of brother to the chicks.
You know how it was often mentioned how he didn’t eat often. Like how Jay noticed the way
Han Seungbeom
didn’t eat anything and never eat snacks was too similiar to someone. How Pantheion members need to take care of him otherwise he wouldn’t eat anything. In a way, you can assume it is because he found eating bothersome, but tbh I think it was also because he was too used to it. Not eating. MC literally, from a very young age, worked so hard while starving himself so he can feed Seo Yuseong. He was fine spending his day on empty stomatch because just thinking about being able to buy nice things for Seo Yuseong make him full His body already gave up on him and got used to his demanding activities, so he didn’t collapse even if he eat too little. It must have turned into a habit, that’s why he still continued to live like that even when he had a lot of money.
The thing is … Han Seungbeom isn’t built like that T_T So can you imagine how hard Han Seungbeom’s body is working right now asdfghjkl MC tried his best to keep the promise, but tbh I think it’s all thanks to Pantheion members he survived so far … that hopeless human would only eat once a day if not for Nicholas dragging him out, Danbi knocking his room, or Kangwon looking for him….