Oscar Ward
“Man, that is super weird for a Viltrumite.”
Nobody bats an eye when I return to the GDA HQ with an honest-to-god alien in tow. We walk right through those double doors without anyone so much as batting an eye. I guess it goes to the kind of shit people here have seen.
“They don’t just give up. They’re relentless. When my people rebelled against them, they blew up the entire planet just to prove a point. You’re seriously telling me this guy didn’t conquer Earth because he loves his family?”
I snort. “Yep.”
“I… can’t imagine it.”
“If they’re that brutal, I’m sure it sounds insane.”
Allen clears his throat. “No, I literally have no concept of family. After our planet was destroyed, my people had to create breeding camps just to stop us from going extinct. I’ve never met my parents.”
Donald runs into us right as we turn off the main lobby. I can’t tell how he’s taking this, since he’s got a pretty expressionless face most of the time. His gaze is pinned to Allen, though, so I can make a few guesses.
“Green Lantern… Allen.”
The one-eyed alien gives him a wave. “Yo! Nice to meet you, man. How’d you know my name?”
“Invincible told us. Now, if you follow me, I’ll show you down to Omni-Man’s cell.”
“He’s called Omni-Man?”
I shrug.
Allen makes a face. “...Weird.”
We follow him deeper into the facility. Allen peers through open doorways a little too long, forcing Donald to slow down. As we turn onto the hallway leading to the elevator, he stops to stare at a pair of GDA soldiers carrying a hunk of futuristic-looking armour between them and has to jog to catch back up.
“...I’m guessing this is your planetary defence organisation?” Allen says.
“More or less.”
“Pretty nice. A bit grey, but the technology is okay. Not quite up to standard, but not as backwater as the rest of your world is either.”
Donald looks back before continuing down the hall.
Allen leans closer to me with a whisper. “...I don’t think he likes me.”
We shuffle into the elevator. Donald swipes his card and presses his thumb against a scanner. A hatch opens under the standard buttons, revealing a large red button. He presses it, and the elevator groans to life as we descend. I watch the numbers tick past on the screen.
“Wow. You buried him deep. Wouldn’t make much difference if he wanted out, though.”
“Probably not,” I say.
The doors open onto another sterile corridor. There are considerably more armed guards down here, though I’m not sure what exactly their guns are supposed to accomplish. Then again, maybe Nolan isn’t the only occupant down here. Donald leads us around another corner and through a security door into an observation room.
“—can’t go back to how things were, Nolan.”
Debbie and Mark are up at the control panel, talking. Nolan’s up against the screen, standing. Well, uh. Considering the restraints are totally wrecked and littering the ground of his padded cell, that does make sense. But besides them, it doesn’t look like he’s made any attempts to escape. He’s right up against the glass. It doesn’t look like he’s noticed us yet.
Cecil’s by the door. He moves aside as we enter and puts a finger to his lips.
“Took you long enough,” he said.
I smile.
Allen walks straight past us.
“What’s he doing?” one of the workers sitting at a desk mutters.
“Whoa…”
Debbie and Mark turn at the sound, his face brightening.
“Allen?”
“...Do you know me?” Allen says.
“It’s me! Invincible!”
“Oh! Your voice did sound familiar. So, that’s what you look like under the mask, huh?”
Debbie looks between them. “Mark, who is this?”
“Mom, this is Allen. He came here a few months ago to test whether Earth could protect itself because he thought it was called Urath.”
Allen raises a hand.
“That’s me! Evaluation Officer for the Coalition of Planets. Also... your name’s Mark? Gotta say, it suits you a lot more than Invincible.”
“I hope so,” Debbie says, putting a hand on her hip. “I named him!”
Allen shoots her a thumbs up. “And you did a wonderful job, lady.”
She smiles. I do think she’s taking this better than expected, but then again, considering the last few days, an orange cyclops alien working for an interstellar government probably doesn’t even faze her.
“Did you end up finding Urath?” Mark asks.
“So, about that. Turns out I was meant to steer clear of Earth because it was scheduled for Viltrumite takeover. Who would’ve thought, huh? I was on my way back to warn you at least… then I found out the Viltrumite apparently decided to stop? Tell me how that works.”
“...Go and ask him yourself, I guess. This is all pretty fresh.”
Mark steps aside, walking past Allen to join me near the door.
“...Hey, man.”
I give him a fist bump. “How’re you holding up? Nice conversation?”
“I dunno about nice, but it was… important?”
“That’s good, then.”
We watch Allen walk up to the microphone, a little slowly. He’s quiet, which is a little weird. The guy’s been chatting my ear off non-stop since I met him, but if anything can get him to shut up, I suppose it’d be a Viltrumite.
“Holy shit, you were a Viltrumite!”
Nolan’s unamused snort crackles through the overhead speakers.
“How you couldn’t tell is beyond me, Unopan. Don’t you see my traditional moustache?”
“First off, my name’s Allen. Secondly, you weren’t wearing the goddamn white and grey uniform that’ll haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.” He turns back to us. “By the way, and for like the second time, all you biclops look the same to me!”
“...I spent the next few weeks after our first run-in wondering whether I should conquer Earth thinking you were bringing reinforcements.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Nolan frowns. “I… Well, I loved—love—my family. In the end, I simply grew out my beard and decided to pass for a human being until you and your coalition left. Viltrum has been at war with the Coalition for centuries. You’d have bigger worries than some galactic backwater.”
“Hey, that’s my planet you’re talking about,” I say with mock anger.
…Only Mark appreciates my joke, though.
Allen folds his arms. “‘War’ is generous. You people have been wiping us out. My planet rebelled against Viltrum, so you destroyed it.”
“...I know. Unopa was destroyed as an example to the surrounding systems. I am… sorry. I may not have swung the blade, but I am a Viltrumite nonetheless.”
Allen’s jaw tightens. For a minute, I think he’s going to swing on him, but he doesn’t. Instead he sighs and scratches the side of his head.
“Saying that, I’ve never heard a Viltrumite apologise before. It won’t bring my planet back.”
“No.”
He smiles. “...And I’m probably gonna need some time to get used to the fact that my buddy’s one of the guys I’ve spent my entire life training to fight. That said, since you’re on our side now, you are tentatively forgiven, Superman!”
I choke on air.
Mark pats my back. “...You alright? It’s Omni-Man, Allen. Not Superman.”
“Thanks for the correction,” Allen says over his shoulder. He turns back to the glass. “Omni-Man. What’s an ‘Omni’ anyway?”
“Buddy?” Nolan repeats feebly.
“I mean… we’ve been beating the crap out of each other for years. What else would you call us?”
He seems caught off guard at the notion. Cecil interrupts whatever moment the two aliens are having by clearing his throat.
“Omni-Man, though his real name’s Nolan Grayson, also gave us some juicy details about the Viltrumite Empire that I’m guessing your Coalition’ll find useful. And that’s putting it lightly. For starters? There aren’t as many Viltrumites as we thought.”
Allen blinks. “...Thousands of Viltrumites are still terrifying, man.”
“Try lower.”
“Hundreds?”
“Fewer than fifty pure-blooded Viltrumites remain,” Nolan says somberly. “And I am one of them.”
“Okay.” Allen snorts. “Yeah. Good one! For a second there, I thought you said there were fewer than fifty Viltrumites left.”
“I… did?”
The smile slowly slides off Allen’s face. “...Fewer than fifty? Pure-blooded? Alive?”
“Yes.” Nolan’s expression flattens. “That is generally what ‘remain’ means.”
“WHAT THE HELL?!”
A couple of workers jump in their seats.
“Everything okay, Allen?” Mark says.
“There are billions upon billions of people in the Coalition! Thousands of planets are terrified of these guys! We’ve spent centuries locked in bitter war, and there aren’t even fifty of them left?!”
“Viltrum has gone to considerable lengths to conceal our population,” Nolan says. “If our enemies knew the truth, they would become considerably more aggressive. The Empire is expansive enough that slave labour is more than enough to enforce our will. And when it is not, a mere handful of Viltrumites are deployed at a time… unless it’s to make a show of force.”
Allen starts pacing. “...Holy crap! I’m going to lose my mind. I think I am losing my mind!”
“Take your time,” I say. “We can wait.”
“Thank you, and I will!”
He stops pacing.
“Wait. Pure-blooded? You specifically said pure-blooded. So there are more half-Viltrumites like Mark?”
“...No. Mark is a rarity in that he’s essentially full-blooded. There are part-Viltrumites, but they are generally weaker than pure-blooded Viltrumites and, on account of our customs… rarely survive.”
Cecil smiles. “Oh, yeah. There’s more, by the way.”
He reaches across the console and taps a button.
“...Cecil.” Nolan immediately straightens. “Don’t.”
“Relax. Wasn’t gonna turn it on.”
“Then don’t put your finger over the button.”
“...What happens if he presses that?” Allen asks.
“Agony.”
“...How much agony?” He turns to Cecil. “You guys found something that can hurt Viltrumites?”
“That one did,” Cecil says. “He recorded a specific frequency.”
I give Allen a wave.
“It disorients them, causing severe pain while interfering with balance. And, as a result, their flight. Keep it going long enough and it’ll do some damage.”
Allen turns towards Nolan again. “And this works on all Viltrumites?”
“To my knowledge.”
“Holy shit!”
“And it isn’t our only weakness,” Nolan adds a little hesitantly.
“...There’s more?”
“Viltrumites are powerful, but contrary to popular belief, we are not invulnerable. There are creatures capable of harming us. A weapon, alongside certain substances. Prior to my current mission… I was in charge of cataloguing and neutralising these threats.”
Allen walks right up to the glass. “Name them.”
“They’re all in here,” Cecil says, patting a case of sci-fi novels penned by… you guessed it, Nolan Grayson. “Fictionalised, but real, apparently. They didn’t sell how he wanted, so he gifted the novels to a friend of his.”
“You… You guys realise you might’ve just changed the entire war, right? A weapon that can cripple them? Other weaknesses we can actually go and get?” Allen points at Nolan. “And him? The Coalition has spent centuries trying to learn this stuff.”
Nolan’s mouth twists. “...Viltrum guards its weaknesses closely.”
Allen starts pacing again.
“I need to get back to Talescria. The Coalition needs to hear all of this.”
“...Hold on, now.” Cecil crosses his arms. “How much are you gonna tell?”
“Everything.”
“You can tell your boss everything. You don’t tell everyone everything. If these are as game-changing as you say they are, then we need to keep these weaknesses on a strict need-to-know basis.”
“Cecil, c’mon,” Mark says.
“What? Kid, we just bought ourselves a century. I’m not throwing that away because our new orange friend is excited.”
He looks away. “...You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“You know…” Allen rubs his chin. “...that’s a pretty good idea.”
“Thank you.”
“Earth could join the Coalition.”
“Absolutely not,” Nolan says.
Allen holds up both hands. “On the sly! You’re already fighting Viltrum whether you like it or not. Earth joining us means you get access to Coalition intelligence, medical technology, and communications, and once the cat’s out of the bag—you’ve got those on Earth, yeah?—eventually trade with other member worlds.”
“...What would membership require?” Cecil asks.
“Mostly sharing information. But mutual defence is a thing if it’s required. Let’s just say two Viltrumites will go down nicely. Of course, Mark and… No-Lahn? Nolan? They can pretend they’re humans. Wear their suits or whatever. There’s also paperwork! …So much paperwork.”
Cecil grimaces. “...So, for the time being, we get nothing in return?”
“The Coalition knows how dangerous Viltrum is, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”
“I…”
My mouth closes. Ring… is there a limit to how much I can carry in my subspace?
Negative. With sufficient willpower, anything is possible.
I grin. “Yeah… I think I can help with that. I can carry a ton of stuff in my subspace. I’m pretty sure it’s unlimited.”
“Hm.” Cecil looks at my ring. “Pretty sure?”
“I’ve never found the limit.”
“Yeah, but how much have you actually put in there?”
“Mostly food, clothes, and some other random knick-knacks.”
Allen blinks. “Food?”
“Hot stuff comes out hot. Cold stuff comes out cold.”
Cecil’s eyes narrow. “For how long? And it doesn’t spoil?”
“I dunno? Not that I’ve noticed.”
Mark leans against the console. “Have you tried anything bigger?”
I shake my head. Inside the cell, Omni-Man peers at my ringed finger with some interest. Cecil calls over Donald from the back of the room.
“Get me something we can afford to lose.”
“Cecil.”
He looks at me. “What?”
“What am I gonna try to put in here?
“A vehicle? …Jesus, kid, what do you think I am?”
I look down at my ring.
“Can you put people inside?” Allen asks out of the blue.
Ring?
Unknown.
I shrug.
Mark immediately shakes his head. “...Yeah, no thank you.”
“In that case…” Allen scratches his chin. “What happens to things while they’re inside?”
“That’s the problem. I have no fucking clue. Food stays exactly how I put it in, but whether that means time stops or it just super preserves things I couldn’t say...”
“I want it said right now that I’m not volunteering,” Mark adds, using his mother as a shield.
I roll my eyes. “...There’s an idea. The next person who pisses me off goes into the ring.”
“So, Rex?”
“Hey!” I snap my fingers. “What happened to that guy who does human experimentation?”
“Sinclair?” Mark lets go of his mother to glare at Cecil. “...You’ll never guess.”
I give him a perfect smile. “Then lemme guess! Cecil’s employed him.”
“Oh my god,” Mark drawls. “How did you know?”
I scratch my head in thought. “Maybe today’s news gave me a clue.”
Cecil frowns at the both of us, clearly not impressed. Debbie’s laughing at our two-man act, though, so it’s well worth it.
“Well, maybe we could shove him into the ring’s subspace,” I point out, not entirely joking either.
Mark snorts.
“Oscar,” Debbie says.
“What? He’d agree if I said it’s for science!”
“No,” Cecil says.
“Oh? Now you have ethical standards?”
Cecil ignores me. “We’ll stick to cargo… but we can try animals at a later date.”
“Holy shit.” I’m grinning. “Cecil Stedman with the ethical limitation?”
Donald’s mouth twitches.
“Don’t make me reconsider.”
“Yes, sir!”
…Jokes aside, if there really isn’t a practical size limit, let’s just say that changes the entire Coalition idea. They wouldn’t have to figure out how to secretly land alien ships full of technology on Earth. I could just go there, shove everything we need into my ring, and fly home. Hell, if we find whatever Nolan was writing about in those books… I could carry all of that too.
The magic ring inventory really is fucking busted.
Nolan steps closer to the glass. “While this is all well and good… if Earth joins the Coalition, Viltrum cannot know. The moment they suspect I’ve defected, they will send someone to investigate.”
“How long do we have if they do?” Cecil asks.
“I don’t know. Months at the very least, but perhaps longer. My reports were infrequent. We process time on a much larger scale than humans, and Earth was considered an uncomplicated assignment.”
“I guess we can start by collecting every weakness Nolan can give us.”
Allen grins. “Now you’re getting it.”
“And the frequency?”
“Mass-produce it,” Nolan says immediately. “Portable emitters via your drones and weapons, too. Satellites as well, if possible. Any Viltrumite who comes to Earth should never be beyond its reach.”
There’s something deeply surreal about hearing Omni-Man give advice on the most efficient way to torture Omni-Man. I glance at Debbie. With her right here in front of him… I guess it makes sense. This is where she lives, and despite everything he’s done these past six months, Nolan does love her.
“Alright, I’m going to head back to Talescria and run this by our leader. I’ll come back for Nolan and Green Lantern. Then we can start looking for those weaknesses!”
…Space road trip!
Nolan looks significantly less enthusiastic about the phrase I’m sure is written all over my face.
Cecil sighs. “Before we start planning interstellar field trips, I want to know exactly what Earth’ll be signing up for. Nobody in your Coalition gets to decide Earth’s laws, borders, or anything else that happens on this planet.”
“...Why would we want to run your planet for you?”
“Then we’ll get along splendidly,” Cecil says, sticking out his hand.
Allen looks at the offered limb. “...What am I meant to do with that?”
“Hey,” I say.
“Hm?”
“This.”
I stick my hand out to Mark, and he shakes it.
“...Oh. Cool!”
Allen shakes Cecil’s hand in what is probably Earth’s first handshake with an extraterrestrial diplomat. Except the alien’s a real diplomat this time and not a conqueror in disguise. Allen claps his hands with a bright grin on his face as he addresses us.
“Okay, so from the top! I head back to Talescria, tell the Coalition we’ve got the biggest breakthrough in the war in... probably ever, get Earth started on secret membership, then come back here.”
“Preferably quickly,” Nolan says. “The sooner you shore up those weaknesses, the better.”
“On it. …Before I go, though, I need to evaluate Earth properly.”
Mark blinks. “I thought you already did that when you fought me, though?”
“I evaluated you. If I’m recommending an entire planet for Coalition membership, I should probably know more about it. Population, government structure, technology, culture, and military capability. Stuff like that!”
Cecil gestures towards one of the computers. “The GDA can give you a look at most of that stuff.”
“Great!” Allen pauses. “...What about the food? Food’s some very important cultural information.”
I grin slowly. “...You just want to see what Earth’s cuisine is like. Don’t bullshit us!”
“...I don’t know what that term means,” Allen says stiffly.
“Really? You’ve been saying ‘holy shit!’ pretty frequently. And like my grandma used to say about learning English, once you know one shit, you know ‘em all!”
“Hey! I take my job seriously. I can’t recommend Earth for membership without getting a feel for the place myself. Numbers only tell you so much.”
“Admit it, man. You want to eat.”
Cecil sighs. “Fine. Take him to eat. In the meantime, we’ll gather the requisite material he requested and get that car prepped. You too, Mark.”
“Whoa, whoa.” Mark points at himself. “Why me? I’ve got plans, Cecil!”
“Those can wait. Or you can multitask. Pretty sure all your buddies know you’re Invincible anyway. Besides…” He points at me. “...I don’t think I trust this combination. Especially unsupervised.”
“Hey!”
“Good thinking,” Debbie says. “Mark’s a good boy.”
I look at her in betrayal, but she gives me the trademark disarming motherly smile.
Allen nods. “Fine by me! The more the merrier, actually… you guys also have that saying on Earth, right?”
I nod.
“Great! Where are we going first?”
“I dunno.” Mark shrugs. “Depends on what you want to eat.”
“...Shouldn’t have asked me that, man. I want to eat everything!”