“Me, the resurrected ancient panda, now need each of you to send me fifty bucks to help me assemble the Chiyou Iron-Eating Beast Legion.
Once my panda army completes its revenge, I’ll give each of you a baby panda!
Real footage of the real bear—you should believe me now, right?
Two-legged beasts, hurry up and tip me!”
At this moment, in the mountain forest, a medium-sized panda cub—round, adorable, and patterned in black and white—was holding a phone with its bear paws, speaking human words while staring seriously at the live-stream camera.
However, after she said this, the only viewer in the live-stream room also left. The room was now desolate, with not a single person remaining.
How could this be?!
Shen Miao was utterly shocked. The whole panda was not okay.
Wasn’t it said that human two-legged beasts absolutely adored pandas these days, even treating them as national treasures?
Then why wouldn’t they give her money? She was the ancestor of national treasures! The treasure of treasures!
Shen Miao now questioned her entire existence, tilting her round black-and-white head and staring with wide, round eyes as she struggled to think.
Dammit! Human society these days—making money was so hard, dammit!
Back in the day, as the first ancient iron-eating beast to cultivate into a Great Demon, Shen Miao had led her panda clan to help the Chiyou tribe carry bricks and trade labor for cornbread.
But who would’ve thought that after thousands of years of slumber, when she awakened her Ancient Divine Beast Bloodline once more, she’d discover that human society had completely changed!
Money was so hard to earn now! Hard for humans, hard for bears!
At this moment, Shen Miao sat atop a grave mound, shaking her black-and-white head. The grievance that had been building inside her chest still lingered, heavy and suffocating.
Before her awakening, she was the true daughter of the Wen family—A City’s wealthiest—who had been swapped at birth. But after being brought back, her biological parents felt she was inferior to the fake daughter, Wen Jiaojiao, and favored the latter in every way while criticizing her.
Her childhood sweetheart, whom she secretly adored, also spent every day protecting the fake daughter and accusing Shen Miao of bullying Wen Jiaojiao.
On this trip, Wen Jiaojiao had dragged her deep into the mountains and gotten them lost, and then she’d fallen off a small cliff. In the end, after finding Wen Jiaojiao, the Wen family and the childhood sweetheart happily left, completely forgetting about her who had fallen down the cliff!
She was thirsty and starving, and her injuries had bled profusely.
Fortunately, her bloodline had awakened—otherwise, she would’ve been eaten by tigers in this unmarked burial ground!
She’d originally planned to chase off the tiger and leave, but she didn’t have a single cent, and there was no bamboo here either. Even if she left, she’d starve to death!
Starving and desperate, Shen Miao decided to live-stream first to earn meal money, and once she was full, she’d go slap the entire Wen family flying!
With that thought, Shen Miao let out an angry roar. But she forgot that she had transformed into an underage panda cub, and what came out was a series of soft whimpers.
This immediately attracted a few human viewers to the live-stream room.
[Whoa! I know it’s fake, but the panda is so cute! My health bar is drained!]
[AI has developed this far already? No way, it’s probably just a beauty filter, right?]
[Cute panda sister streamer is pretty creative. Alright, what talents do you have to show us?]
Finally, people were coming in. Shen Miao didn’t dare be careless this time. For the sake of her food, she said seriously:
“I can carry bricks, and I can speak human language. I can also speak panda language—I can understand the languages of all animals!
If any of you want to communicate with animals, you can tell me!”
[Streamer, keep bragging! I’m a PhD in zoology, and even I can’t successfully communicate with my cat!]
[Streamer, if you can really communicate, I’ll immediately tip you three hundred steamed buns!]
Three hundred steamed buns would be enough for one meal. Shen Miao immediately nodded her round black-and-white head happily.
“Alright, alright! What’s your question? Go ahead, I can answer anything!”
[Really? Then I’m connecting the call now. Don’t blame me if you can’t answer, streamer.]
“No worries, no problem! Leave it to me!”
Shen Miao immediately patted her chest with her paw, and this action instantly melted the hearts of the viewers.
In no time, the viewer count in the room rose from single digits to several dozen.
But still, no one tipped her.
It seemed that modern humans weren’t as easy to deal with as Chiyou. She’d have to show some real skills!
Shen Miao grew even more serious. Soon, she saw a young man connect on the other end, with a tabby cat with leopard-like markings beside him.
The young man was wearing a mask, holding his cat as he waved to the viewers and said:
“Hello, streamer. I wanted to consult you about my cat.
This tabby was picked up from outside a few years ago. I raised him to this size, and he’s always been so lively.
But these past few days, my Yuanbao has been dazed and listless at home all day. He just curls up in the corner, won’t even eat. He’s about to be malnourished enough to need IV drips.
I went to the pet hospital, and they said my cat is depressed.”
At this point, the young man’s eyes showed a hint of confusion as he stroked his poor cat:
“Streamer, you said you can understand animal language, right? Can you help me ask my cat why he’s depressed?”
“Okay, leave it to me.”
After hearing the whole situation, Shen Miao immediately looked at the cat on the other side and began asking the tabby what was going on.
But the tabby cat seemed to be hiding some secret, hemming and hawing, stalling for a long time.
After awakening her bloodline, the panda mindset took over, and Shen Miao no longer had any of her previous human upbringing or patience. She slapped the stone slab beside her.
“Spit it out now!”
Instantly, the huge moss-covered stone slab was shattered by a single bear paw, fragments flying in all directions.
[Whoa whoa whoa, is this streamer a violent loli?]
[Oh my god, wah wah wah, that strength is way too much, tell me, this has to be AI-generated, right?]
[Maybe the stone slab was glued together? Scared me to death!]
[Streamer, can you even do this? You’ve been at it this long and still haven’t gotten an answer—you’re just making things up, aren’t you?]
“How could that be? We pandas never lie!”
Shen Miao raised her bear paw solemnly and swore.
Soon, after a round of threats, Shen Miao understood, and then said:
“Your cat isn’t depressed at all, and it’s not in a bad mood. It’s just been hooking up with female cats every night and drained its kidneys to the point of exhaustion.
With dozens of female cats every night, which male cat could handle that?
Oh, and by the way, the hundred-plus female cats at the pet shop next door should all be pregnant by now. You’ll need to compensate those cats.”
The tabby cat’s owner and the entire audience: ??