Everyone in the livestream was shocked, but the tabby cat’s owner flat-out denied it:
“Impossible! My Yuanbao isn’t even a year old yet—how could he be in heat?!
Besides, my cat is just like me—he upholds male virtue!”
【Even if he were in heat, there’s no way he could knock up dozens of female cats in one go!】
【Exactly! Streamer, don’t you dare slander this innocent cat just because he can’t talk!】
This was just too absurd. Yuanbao’s owner, Peng Hao, refused to believe it, convinced that Shen Miao was spouting nonsense to boost her livestream traffic.
He was about to hang up the call when Shen Miao’s panda eyes went wide with fury. She slapped a paw against the tree trunk beside her.
“We pandas never lie. A man must keep his word—you haven’t even tipped me yet and you’re already trying to leave?”
The last one who dared to deceive her, Chiyou, now had weeds three zhang tall growing over his grave.
These damned Two-legged Beasts—all of them were rotten creatures who tricked pandas!
Shen Miao, in her anger, used about half her strength, and the thick tree beside her was cleanly snapped in half at the trunk. With a loud crack, it toppled over.
The sight instantly left Peng Hao on the other end of the call dumbstruck. He jolted upright with a start.
Wh-Wh-What the hell!
Was that a threat?!
【So scary! On the surface it’s a panda snapping a tree trunk, but is it actually a female streamer? And from her voice, she sounds like a sweet loli?】
【In ancient times there was Lin Daiyu uprooting a weeping willow; now we have a little loli splitting a tree trunk in half? Can’t mess with her. Can’t mess with her.]
“We pandas never lie! If I say it’s so, it’s so. Yuanbao’s daddy, just go downstairs and check with the pet store, won’t you?
Go now!”
Because Shen Miao’s tree-snapping display was so intimidating, Peng Hao immediately nodded, scooped up Yuanbao, and headed downstairs.
“Your cat said the pet store is not far from your place—just past the community’s self-service cafeteria.”
The community had a self-service cafeteria? He’d lived here for so long and never knew that.
What the hell was this streamer talking about?
Peng Hao grew more and more convinced that Shen Miao was unreliable. But at that moment, Yuanbao in his arms suddenly perked up:
“The self-service cafeteria is here! Meow, awesome! Big carp!”
Everyone: …
Well, well—so the cat’s “self-service cafeteria” was just the koi pond in the community!
Makes perfect sense!
Peng Hao’s mouth twitched. He helplessly but fondly patted his foodie cat on the head, then carried him into the pet boarding shop.
He’d boarded Yuanbao here before, so he was on good terms with the shop owner. But today, the moment he walked in, the owner glared at him with fury and pointed straight at him, cursing:
“Well, well, you little tabby scumbag cat! I’ve finally caught you today! Look at what you’ve done!”
“Meow!”
The tabby cat Yuanbao seemed deeply guilty, his ears flattening into airplane ears.
Hearing this, Peng Hao’s eyelids twitched, and a bad feeling rose in his chest:
“Impossible? My cat is so well-behaved.”
“Don’t even start! Your cat has been prying open my window every night in the dead of night to get into my shop, and he even learned how to pick the locks. He went through every single female cat in heat!
Not a single one did he spare!”
The shop owner, Jiang Yao, was just as frustrated saying this.
At first, he hadn’t noticed anything wrong, thinking he’d just forgotten to lock the doors and windows. But then one day, customers came storming in one after another, furious, saying the female cats they’d boarded here had gotten pregnant after being taken home.
He checked the surveillance footage—sure enough, this tabby cat came almost every night, and at least a hundred female cats had been knocked up by him!
“Now the owners of those female cats are all coming to me demanding explanations and compensation, plus emotional distress damages for the cats! What am I supposed to do about this?!”
Peng Hao: ??
【Wow, so it’s actually true!
This cat is way too capable! Tabby cats really are something else!】
【This tattooed-arm boss is absolutely fierce!
I’ve been single for thirty years, and this cat has a hundred wives? And soon he’ll have a thousand kittens!
Wah wah, crying while living in a lemon tree!】
【Hahaha, congratulations to Yuanbao’s daddy for being promoted to grandpa!
Are you happy? Are you thrilled? Are you surprised?】
Peng Hao: !!
Out of nowhere, he’d gained over a thousand kittens. Peng Hao was utterly stunned. He looked at Yuanbao with suspicion:
“Where the hell did your cat virtue go?! You little scumbag!
How did I end up with such a womanizing, irresponsible little bastard for a son?!”
“Meow! But the sister cats were all begging meow for help!
Meow is the boss of this territory, so meow has a duty to help every sister cat!”
Yuanbao stood his ground, refusing to admit any fault. In the end, his poor old dad had to tearfully accept the blame and pay up for all the compensation.
“Yuanbao’s daddy, I suggest you start giving your cat some nutritional supplements.
Because with this playboy’s personality, if he keeps this up, he’s going to drain himself dry and die of exhaustion.”
Shen Miao gave the advice very seriously from the other end, but Peng Hao just shook his head:
“Thanks, streamer, but no need. In a bit, I’m taking this guy to the hospital for a neutering package. I guarantee it won’t have the energy or the will for anything after that!”
Hearing this, Shen Miao’s panda eyes went wide, and the whole bear was stunned.
Neutering? Oh right! That was still an option now!
Soon, Shen Miao turned to the tabby cat in the livestream, who was still blinking its big innocent eyes, completely unaware, and her eyes filled with sympathy.
This silly cat had no idea it was about to become a eunuch and say goodbye to all its cat sisters.
How pitiful. See, this was the downside of being a pet to Two-legged Beasts!
That was why Beastfolk had to earn their own living—otherwise, they’d just end up as playthings for humans!
【Hahahahaha! Cat neutering is always a joy to see! That cheating tomcat totally deserves it!】
【This streamer seems to have some skills. Could she actually understand cat language?】
【Impossible. The streamer must have scripted this with someone else. These days, streamers will do anything for fame!】
【Yeah, it’s obviously scripted!】
【Even if the acting is fake, the plot is hilarious. Here’s a bunny tip as a token of appreciation!】
But Shen Miao didn’t care what the livestream was saying now, because Peng Hao had tipped her three hundred buns as promised. She said happily:
“Alright, that’s it for today’s stream. I’m off to eat now.
Xiaoguai, come here. Take me down the mountain.”
【Huh? Is the streamer in the mountains? No wonder I keep hearing birds. Who’s Xiaoguai?
Did the streamer get a pet too?】
It was the netizen who had just tipped the buns asking. Shen Miao, who brightened at the sight of money, answered patiently:
“Yes, yes. Xiaoguai is a golden chinchilla I just tamed. It’s super useful for catching fish for me.”
【Whoa, making a little cat work? Streamer, you have no heart!】
【Whose cat is this obedient? Wuwuwu, how did the streamer train it?
Teach me! I tipped!】
Seeing the tip, Shen Miao, a panda, smiled with her round eyes squinting into slits, her attitude excellent:
“Sure, sure. But I’m too hungry and need to eat, so let me just show you Xiaoguai first.
The Xiaoguai I just beat into submission has put on some autumn fat. It’s all fluffy now, and the fur feels amazing to pet.
Xiaoguai, give them a roar!”
After saying that, Shen Miao turned the camera, and suddenly the livestream showed a massive Siberian tiger, two meters long, baring a mouthful of sharp fangs, looking utterly majestic!
With a thunderous roar, the birds in the forest scattered in chaos, and the trees seemed to tremble, sending a flurry of withered yellow leaves falling all at once.
Everyone: ??