I was standing with my arms crossed, furrowing my brows with a serious expression. Lucien sat across from me on the bed that Oliver used to occupy but was now empty, smiling as he looked at me.
We’d been facing each other like this for nearly ten minutes since I dragged him into my room, but I still felt awkward. I couldn’t believe that face was Lucien’s. Wouldn’t everyone else feel the same? Anyone who remembered Lucien would. It felt like someone was pulling a scam on me. That’s how unbelievable the situation was.
Still glaring at him suspiciously, Lucien broke the silence first.
“Are you going to keep doing that?”
His slight smile made me flinch and shrug my shoulders. Seeing me unable to hide my awkwardness, Lucien gave an embarrassed look.
“...Sorry, I changed too much, huh.”
“Uh, yeah, ah, no.”
I nodded absentmindedly, then hurriedly denied it. It wasn’t something to apologize for that he had suddenly grown. But my true feelings had already shown through. Lucien looked at me and gave a wry smile.
“It’s fine. I’m surprised every time I see myself in the mirror. It’s natural for you to react like this.”
“Uh, yeah…”
I reluctantly nodded and glanced at his face again. Actually, now that I knew it was Lucien, it wasn’t impossible to recognize him. His long eyes, the way his expression softened like a child’s when he smiled, and all the features still clearly bore Lucien’s traces.
But even so, it was hard to accept. It was like sitting across from his brother who looked very much like him.
He said he had a brother, right?
That thought crossed my mind briefly, but I quickly pushed it away. There was no way Lucien would play such a prank. This was definitely Lucien. I kept repeating silently that he wasn’t playing a cruel joke with his brother but really was Lucien Hearst.
I also knew well that Lucien wasn’t the type for such jokes, and that he wasn’t that close to his brother.
“You’ve grown a lot.”
I cautiously started. Lucien nodded still smiling.
“It just grew suddenly, like you said.”
He said it took three years for that growth. This case was totally different. You…
I thought absentmindedly, then quickly calculated the time Lucien had been missing. It had only been about a month and a half at most. And he’d grown this much in that time? Suddenly?
“They said you were sick—does it have something to do with that?”
I kept asking because I couldn’t help but be suspicious. It felt ridiculous to doubt a friend, but accepting this reality wasn’t easy, especially when facing such an absurd event. If I’d seen him grow day by day, the shock wouldn’t have been so bad.
Lucien seemed to understand my feelings and answered without much annoyance.
“The last day we saw each other, I went back to my room and suddenly got a high fever.”
“A fever?”
My heart dropped, and I repeated his words unconsciously. Lucien nodded and added briefly.
“Lurt came.”
My mind went blank for a moment. It was a simple phrase, but it took time to understand. I opened my mouth in surprise and then shouted loudly.
“Lurt? Lurt came?”
“Yeah.”
Ignoring my overreaction, Lucien calmly continued.
“So I was pretty sick for a few days. After that, I couldn’t get out of bed for a while… but every time I woke up, I had grown.”
“Do pheromones affect growth hormones?”
“I don’t know.”
Lucien laughed lightly, not mockingly. He shook his head as if he didn’t know either, then said,
“They say it affects the brain, so I’m not sure how much it’s related, but the doctor who examined me just said it was common adolescent growing pains. It means I grew because it was time to grow.”
Sudden growth during adolescence is common. Growing five inches a month is common, too. Lucien seemed to have grown much more, but thinking about it that way, it wasn’t entirely impossible to accept.
“Do I look awkward because I’ve grown?”
Lucien asked quietly, but somehow his voice sounded a bit hurt.
‘What will you do if I change, if I’m no longer small or cute?’
I suddenly remembered what he said. He was anxious, all alone. Thinking that, I felt sorry for him again.
“You’ll get used to it soon.”
I said firmly, looking him straight in the eyes. I had to get used to the changed Lucien. Didn’t I say clearly that no matter what form he took, Lucien was still Lucien?
After speaking firmly, I added lightly like a joke.
“But you have to give me some time, I need time to adjust, too.”
When I asked if that was okay, Lucien smiled along. The atmosphere quickly softened, and I felt more comfortable. The awkwardness still lingered, but it was much better. I was sure I’d get used to it soon. I fixed my gaze on Lucien with certainty. I had to see him more often, as much as possible. That way I’d get used to it faster.
“I’m surprised your eye level got closer to mine. It’s going to take a while to get used to this.”
I joked, and Lucien laughed. He suddenly seemed like an adult. The mood he gave off had completely changed, enough to embarrass his younger brother who had always thought of him as a kid.
So that’s what Lurt is…?
I barely knew anything since everyone around me was Beta. The only education I’d had was the school’s basic teaching, and Lucien wasn’t an ordinary Alpha, so it was even harder to understand.
“How was Lurt? It must have been hard, right?”
“A little.”
He answered lightly with a small laugh when I asked. He looked tired, so I assumed Lurt must be really tough.
“Uh, so now that Lurt has come, it happens periodically, right?”
I tried to satisfy my curiosity for the future. So that if Lucien disappeared again, I wouldn’t be worried without knowing why. Lucien seemed to catch my thoughts and answered willingly. Of course, only within what he knew. It was his first time, too, so I understood.
“Maybe? I heard sometimes it comes irregularly, but this was my first time, so I don’t really know. Sometimes it happens once every few months, sometimes once a year. When it’s bad, it comes a few times a month.”
“A few times a month?”
I felt like my breath got caught. If it was that frequent, isn’t there something wrong with the pheromones? Lucien answered my question.
“Probably. Or if you’re psychologically unstable, problems happen. Then you take medicine or get injections.”
Listening to Lucien’s story, I learned there was an institute researching Extreme Alphas. Probably that’s where they observed and treated them. The Extreme Alphas, full of money and power, generously supported that institution. Of course, they never allowed themselves to be test subjects.
“If things don’t work out, I guess I’ll have to be a tester. They say effects vary by person anyway…”
He said it as if it were someone else’s problem. Lucien probably had been waiting for this day for a long time. What kind of feeling is it to silently endure the day you know will inevitably come? I felt pity welling up in my chest again. I wanted to pat his shoulder but couldn’t reach him. Instead, I reached out my hand as if for a handshake to comfort him.
“It’s okay, Lutz. You’ll adapt well.”
Lucien smiled at my words and reached out his hand to meet mine.
“Thanks.”
Just as I was about to withdraw the hand I’d lightly held, Lucien suddenly tightened his grip.
Huh?
Before I realized it, my relaxed body was pulled in, and I collapsed into his arms. Taken completely off guard, I froze. Lucien held me tightly and whispered above my head.
“I thought you’d say that.”
His heartbeat pressed against my cheek, beating somewhat fast. I smiled bitterly and gently patted his back, soothing him.
“But next time, please tell me, I was really worried.”
When I said that again, a strange sensation came over me. It felt like Lucien pressed my temple with his lips, but I ignored it. Even if it was true, what did it matter? I did the same to Elliot all the time. Lucien still whispered while holding me.
“Sorry, I was a little scared.”
“What were you scared of?”
As soon as I spoke, I realized again. I repeated the same words to reassure him.
“Don’t think like that. No matter what happens, I’m on your side.”
“Yeah, I know.”
A faint smile crept into Lucien’s voice. Then he said once more, as if making a vow.
“I trust you.”
…Ah.
That sweet scent again.
The scent I’d sensed right after meeting Lucien drifted around once more. It seemed a bit weaker, but maybe because I was so close to him, it grew stronger and stimulated my dulled sense of smell. Sniffing unconsciously, I quietly asked,
“Are you wearing perfume?”
“...What?”
Lucien asked, keeping some distance. I felt embarrassed and vaguely dodged the question.
“No, it’s just a scent I hadn’t smelled before.”
Lucien didn’t answer right away this time either. After a brief silence, he asked in a low voice,
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah. It’s sweet.”
Honestly saying that, I raised my head slightly and immediately locked eyes with Lucien. He looked down at me in his arms and smiled loosely. I felt good somehow and just smiled back. This was another change in Lucien. I’d have to get used to this too.
I started to want to get up, but Lucien didn’t loosen his grip. Afraid that trying to get away might make things awkward, I couldn’t find the right moment and changed the subject.
“Perfume—do you always wear it now?”
Curious about this sudden change, I asked. Lucien briefly denied it.
“No, only when I meet you.”
“Really?”
I was about to say there was no need, but stopped myself. If Lucien wanted to, there was no reason to stop him. Unless that scent bothered me, it actually made me feel better.
But that didn’t make the awkward posture any less tiring. Exhausted from waiting for a good timing, I finally pulled away without caring about his reaction. Instead of going back to my bed, I sat down beside him, and he naturally placed his hand over mine resting on the mattress. His fingers didn’t stay still, constantly tickling gently, which annoyed me a little, but I let it be.
When the awkward silence hit, fortunately Lucien spoke.
“How’s Emilio Diaz?”
The sudden topic change almost made me jump. If Lucien hadn’t grabbed my arm right then, I might have actually jumped. I almost scrambled to get up awkwardly but had to sit back down. Lucien relaxed his grip and again placed his hand over mine.
“Well, just… the same, I guess.”
Embarrassed, I had nothing more to say. Actually, it couldn’t get any better or worse. If it got better, it would mean progress in our relationship, but that was impossible. If it got worse, it would mean we fought badly or drifted apart, which also hadn’t happened. To Emilio, I was just the teammate who recruited him. Knowing that well, a bitter feeling suddenly crept up, but Lucien spoke again.
“Why don’t you try approaching him more actively? Even if you can’t confess, you could get closer.”
“Closer?”
“Like this.”
Suddenly Lucien leaned his head toward me. I couldn’t avoid his face suddenly so close in front of me, and I froze. Lucien murmured.
“This much distance.”
Was he talking about physical distance?
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Lucien’s lips touched mine.