“Sigh…”
I let out a deep breath aloud, clutching my head. I’d already sighed like this several times sitting on my bed, but nothing changed. My roommate Oliver, wearing headphones and sitting at his desk doing assignments, must have had a break because he looked up and was startled to see me.
“You’re still like this?”
At his surprised voice, I barely swallowed the sigh that was about to escape. But my expression didn’t change, so Oliver took off his headphones, turned, hugged the back of his chair, and asked,
“What’s wrong? What happened? Talk to me.”
He tapped my calf with his foot.
“You haven’t hung out with us lately, and now you won’t even talk?”
His tone was sharp with annoyance. He was one of the friends who had desperately tried to stop me when I first approached Lucien, and we’d become fairly close. Until I unintentionally drifted away from the group after falling for Emilio, I had no real complaints about hanging out with them.
Like most students at this school, our family backgrounds were similar, and we got along fairly well. Honestly, I never imagined I’d be sitting apart from everyone with just Lucien. What frustrated me even more was that nothing had progressed with Emilio, my original goal. Remembering how I’d nearly had dinner with Emilio but lost the chance because of Lucien only made my frustration boil over. It was something I couldn’t keep to myself. Though I couldn’t tell him everything, I did have my roommate and friend right in front of me.
“Well, the thing is…”
I didn’t miss my chance and started explaining. Oliver perked up, listening closely, and I gradually felt a bit better.
I cut out the unnecessary details and focused on the core issue. Oliver quietly concluded:
“So basically, that Hearst guy is clinging to you too much, right?”
“Uh… yeah.”
I hadn’t planned to say it that bluntly, but it wasn’t wrong, so I muttered my answer.
“Anyway, it’s kinda annoying. I didn’t expect it to be this bad.”
This time, I sighed without holding back. Oliver leaned back, resting his arm on the chair’s back and furrowing his brow.
“To be honest, you should cut him loose. I told you from the start, that guy’s sketchy.”
As if he’d been waiting, Oliver launched into complaints about Lucien.
“Better act before it gets worse. If you treat him coldly a few times, he’ll get the hint and back off.”
Would that really happen?
Thinking about Lucien’s stare under the dim streetlamp sent a chill down my spine. I hastily brushed the cold off my arm, and Oliver looked at me curiously. I smiled awkwardly and pretended nothing was wrong, but my mind snapped back to reality.
Putting a friend’s advice into action wasn’t too hard. I generally tried not to cut people off if possible, but I wasn’t the type to tolerate everything endlessly. This situation was no different. Cutting Lucien loose might actually be easy. I’d brought him onto the rowing team and done my part. Whether he stayed there was his choice, and it’d be better for him to mingle with others instead of just following me around. Besides, he was really annoying.
...But annoying or not.
Thinking about how he was an outsider in the team and even disliked by the coach, I couldn’t decide so easily. Lucien had made the final call to join rowing, but hadn’t I been the one pushing him toward that?
I was speechless when Oliver made a more radical suggestion.
“How about you quit the rowing team altogether? You did fill a spot, but there’s no reason for you to stick around until the end. None of us ever understood why you joined in the first place. And you never joined Lilith either.”
Lilith was the secret club passed down at this private school for generations. My father, grandfather, Oliver, and the rest of the crew were all members. In fact, once you came to this school, it was a given path. Everyone in my group found my choice strange. Even after graduation and different career paths, being part of Lilith was forever. It gave them great advantages. Saying you’re from Lilith at this prestigious private school created a special bond even with strangers at social events, reinforcing their ladders in life.
But I had no intention of going that way. They could never guess the life I imagined after graduation. So my current actions were totally incomprehensible to them. Of course, I wasn’t going to share all my personal reasons, so it was mutual.
“Can’t help it. Since I dragged him in, I have to take responsibility.”
To avoid dragging the conversation out, I wrapped it up quickly. Oliver frowned but seemed to understand my intent, loosening his arms from the chair back and turning around.
“So you’re stuck here because of that guy, huh?”
“No…”
I wanted to deny it, but he already put on his headphones and went back to his work. I blinked a few times awkwardly, scratched my head, and got up from the bed. This wasn’t time to waste. I had piles of assignments too, so I packed my bag and sat down at my desk. We didn’t talk anymore and went to bed separately.
“What? Luc still hasn’t come?”
At the unexpected news, I repeated the words. Emilio, who told me, looked around awkwardly and said,
“You don’t know? That’s weird, since you always hang out together I thought you’d know.”
I just shook my head. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen him since we returned to our dorm rooms after class. He always came to rowing practice early and waited for me.
No wonder I felt something was missing—I hadn’t seen him.
Only after Emilio pointed it out did I realize the absence of Lucien and felt slightly embarrassed but secretly hopeful. Maybe he quit?
“Don’t tell me he quit...?”
Emilio muttered cautiously, apparently thinking the same. For me, it was welcome news, but I was curious why Emilio didn’t seem worried. The reason became clear soon.
“Honestly, it wouldn’t matter if he quit. That guy.”
Another teammate suddenly interrupted. I glanced over and he casually continued.
“He was just a backup anyway, and even if he was really needed, could he actually do his part? He’d just be dead weight.”
Harsh words, but a realistic critique. Even Emilio silently listened. After all, it was Emilio himself who’d been so eager to bring Lucien.
“Honestly, I didn’t think he’d fall so far behind…”
Emilio muttered almost to himself. But it was his true feeling, shared by me and everyone else.
“See, I told you from the start, Lucien Hearst is trash. He won’t help at all.”
Another guy grumbled. With practice delayed several times because of Lucien, his frustration was clear. Soon, complaints poured in everywhere—about Lucien.
“I expected more from an extreme Alpha, but even my five-year-old brother understands more than that guy.”
“Maybe being so uncoordinated is a talent? How is that even possible? He really seems lacking somewhere.”
“The lineage test must be wrong. No way that dumbass is an extreme Alpha.”
“I think his eye color matches, though?”
“He doesn’t give off pheromones. Extreme Alphas can control pheromones, but it’s unimaginable that guy’s hiding his on purpose.”
As the chatter continued, Emilio quietly glanced at me. Since he was the one who had a hard time bringing Lucien on board and suggested the method in the first place, it was natural he’d be anxious. I tried to reassure Emilio with a casual smile.
“It’s okay. It’s true Lucien’s not doing well.”
“Hmm, I thought he’d at least keep up a bit.”
Hearing Emilio mumble, I added lightly.
“I agree he doesn’t seem like a proper extreme Alpha. But exceptions exist, right? Lucien might be one.”
“A defective extreme Alpha?”
Someone’s comment triggered a burst of laughter. I forced a bitter smile and joined in, but Emilio suddenly stopped laughing and looked surprised. Following his gaze, I turned and stiffened in shock.
Lucien was standing some distance away, watching us. More precisely, watching my face.