Mu Xinghai’s face turned green.
Yet he couldn’t openly deny it. All he could do was swallow the misunderstanding and remain silent for the moment.
Lin Mu looked straight at him, suspicion written all over his face. His gaze was sharp, as if he wanted to see right through him.
In an unfriendly tone he said, “Mu Xinghai, didn’t you say you weren’t familiar with Ruan Chen?”
Ruan Chen was particularly bad at handling situations like this.
Was Lin Mu catching someone cheating?
Did he like Mu Xinghai?
Mu Xinghai said, “…We’re not that familiar.”
He didn’t blink and his voice didn’t tremble. The lie came out as smoothly as if it were the truth.
He rubbed his numb fingertips together, forcing himself to suppress the urge to reach out and grab Ruan Chen.
Ruan Chen felt as though he were sitting on pins and needles. He no longer dared to look at either of them. His face pale, he said hurriedly, “Y you two talk. I’ll go first.”
After saying that, he walked off quickly to the side, hoping to escape from this embarrassing situation.
But Lin Mu stepped forward and blocked his path.
Ruan Chen didn’t know what to do. Wanting help, he instinctively turned his head and glanced at Mu Xinghai.
That unconscious movement carried a different meaning in the eyes of both Mu Xinghai and Lin Mu.
One of them felt pleased.
The other felt displeased.
Mu Xinghai took a few long strides and caught up in only a couple of steps, stopping half a pace behind Ruan Chen at his side.
The atmosphere became even more tense and strange.
Ruan Chen sighed inwardly. He felt that he had been dragged into a storm for no reason at all. It was truly unfair.
Lin Mu asked irritably, “Mu Xinghai, what exactly do you mean by this?”
Mu Xinghai replied calmly, “Didn’t you ask me to help you pursue Ruan Chen? Since we happened to run into each other, I thought I’d try getting closer to him for you, so we walked together for a bit but now that he’s seen you, I feel like he’s quite scared. You’ve been chasing him for a while now without any progress. I think you should stop bothering him. He clearly isn’t interested in you. Forcing things won’t make them sweet. Just let it go.”
The moment Mu Xinghai spoke the first sentence, Ruan Chen abruptly raised his head in shock.
He stared in astonishment, his face flushing bright red.
Chasing… what?
What was he talking about?
Lin Mu was so angry he nearly failed to catch his breath. He had kept his feelings hidden for so long and never confessed to Ruan Chen precisely because he was afraid of scaring him away.
And now Mu Xinghai had suddenly blurted it out like this.
What kind of intention was that?
It was an intention that deserved condemnation.
“I was wondering,” Lin Mu said coldly. “You used to be quite easygoing but lately you’ve been acting strangely. I treated you as a friend, is this how you treat your friends?”
Then he added with a sneer, “What’s wrong? Have you changed your taste and decided to try men now?”
“No,” Mu Xinghai replied seriously, his tone righteous and composed. “I’m just acting out of goodwill. If Ruan Chen were a girl and someone were harassing her like this, I would help as well.”
Lin Mu half believed him, half doubted him.
But Mu Xinghai had always been extremely straightforward. He usually dated women and kept his distance whenever men showed him that kind of interest. Lin Mu still found it hard to believe.
Perhaps Mu Xinghai was simply meddling in someone else’s business.
Lin Mu said, “You’re making it sound like I’m harassing him. I haven’t done anything to make Senior Brother Ruan uncomfortable, have I? Right, Senior Brother Ruan?”
The question was suddenly thrown back at Ruan Chen.
Both Lin Mu and Mu Xinghai turned to look at him.
Ruan Chen was so nervous that his entire body stiffened. Cold sweat nearly broke out across his forehead. He licked his lips before finally stammering, “I… I’m not… not gay. S…. sorry.”
Panic surged through him.
“I’ve had a girlfriend before! I like women!”
Lin Mu: “…………”
Mu Xinghai: “………………”
Taking advantage of the moment when both Lin Mu and Mu Xinghai were stunned into silence, Ruan Chen finally managed to escape.
He didn’t look back even once.
He didn’t dare go anywhere outside after that. Once his class was over, he retreated straight back to his dormitory like a turtle withdrawing into its shell.
He didn’t even bother thinking about the arrangement he had made with Mu Xinghai.
When three thirty arrived, however,
Mu Xinghai sent him a message.
“Senior Brother, why haven’t you come yet?”
Ruan Chen replied, “Do I still have to go?”
Mu Xinghai answered, “We already agreed. If you don’t come, I’ll go find you right now.”
The sentence looked perfectly normal.
But when Ruan Chen read it, his heart started pounding wildly.
He had no choice but to change his clothes and sneak out quietly. To avoid attracting attention, he even put on a mask and a sun shielding baseball cap he had once bought for hiking. He wore a windproof hiking jacket and a pair of jeans as well, everything dull gray and inconspicuous.
Around four fifteen, Ruan Chen finally arrived at Mu Xinghai’s place.
He had forgotten the exact apartment number and wandered around lost for ten minutes. When he still couldn’t find it, Mu Xinghai called to hurry him, then came downstairs to lead him inside.
Mu Xinghai’s mood was dark and heavy.
Ruan Chen didn’t even dare breathe loudly.
The moment they entered the apartment, the door clicked shut behind them.
With that soft locking sound, Mu Xinghai asked, “You’ve dated women before? Don’t tell me the ‘experience’ you mentioned was with women.”
Ruan Chen didn’t dare speak.
He could only look at him timidly, lips slightly parted, his expression weak and frightened.
Even without words, his face had already given the answer.
Mu Xinghai looked at the man in front of him.
Ruan Chen wasn’t particularly glamorous or handsome to begin with and now he stood there looking like a meek pushover.
He had come to see him without even bothering to tidy himself up. His hair stuck up messily at the ends and his whole appearance looked plain and rustic.
A mess.
Mu Xinghai grabbed him roughly by the collar and pulled him closer, lowering his head to kiss him.
Ruan Chen could only accept it passively.
When Mu Xinghai’s teeth brushed against the soft flesh of his tongue, Ruan Chen couldn’t help trembling slightly, partly from pleasure, partly from fear, as if he might actually be bitten.
Ruan Chen didn’t resist much yet the kiss still felt almost forceful, like pouring oil onto fire.
Mu Xinghai kissed him several more times, still unable to release the frustration burning inside him.
His anger roiled chaotically in his chest.
Ruan Chen heard the soft metallic sound of Mu Xinghai’s belt buckle being undone. His body shifted slightly. His face flushed deep red as he glanced at Mu Xinghai and said awkwardly,
“Shouldn’t we go to the bedroom?”
Mu Xinghai dragged him to the sofa instead and sat down with his legs spread wide, only pulling open his zipper.
Ruan Chen felt as if his eyes had been scalded. He quickly turned his face away.
Mu Xinghai grabbed his hand and said coldly, “Come here.”
Ruan Chen stiffly shook his head.
“N… no.”
Mu Xinghai repeated, “Come here.”
Ruan Chen had no choice. He walked over slowly, forced to accept the humiliation.
Mu Xinghai questioned him relentlessly.
“When did you date that girlfriend?”
“In university… we broke up during my senior year…”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You never asked…”
“And men? Aren’t you gay?”
Ruan Chen’s eyes reddened, his breathing uneven.
“N… no… I’m not…”
Mu Xinghai was still angry.
Then what was this supposed to mean? Why would Ruan Chen sleep with him if that was the case?
Furious, he demanded, “You should take a look at yourself right now. Your waist is moving like that and you’re still going to say you like women?”
Ruan Chen whimpered softly.
“I… I don’t know…”
Seeing him like this only made the fire inside Mu Xinghai burn even hotter.
He himself couldn’t understand why he found this man so interesting.
He remembered that day in the tent. Back then he had thought that Ruan Chen, who seemed so unreserved and even seductive, must not be inexperienced with men. That was why he had treated him somewhat roughly.
By now Ruan Chen was drenched in sweat from head to toe.
He clung to Mu Xinghai’s arms, sticky with perspiration.
But if Ruan Chen had truly liked women before, then why had he confessed to him?
Perhaps he had only said that out of fear of being misunderstood.
Mu Xinghai suddenly felt a bit guilty toward himself. He had treated Ruan Chen terribly earlier.
His anger gradually faded.
He stroked Ruan Chen’s trembling, smooth back and asked,
“Then I’m the first man you’ve ever liked, right?”
Damn.
Saying it like that made it sound almost like a first love.
The thought made his heart stir.
When did I ever say I liked you?
Ruan Chen felt completely baffled.
He was exhausted and sleepy. Without his glasses, his vision was blurry. Lifting his face from Mu Xinghai’s chest, he looked at him with innocent confusion.
But Mu Xinghai seemed especially sensitive right now.
Ruan Chen didn’t dare act rashly. He was afraid of suffering even more if he provoked him.
He already felt completely drained.
Seeing the pitiful expression on Ruan Chen’s face, Mu Xinghai’s heart suddenly softened.
“…Alright.” Mu Xinghai spoke awkwardly, as if the words were difficult to get out. “I didn’t know about all this… Senior Brother Ruan, I don’t think things can go on like this. Maybe we shouldn’t keep being casual partners anymore.”
Ruan Chen: “?!”
Was it over?
That was wonderful!
If it really ended here, he wouldn’t have to live every day in constant anxiety anymore. He wouldn’t have to endure the silent condemnation in his own heart either. At last, he could return to the calm and peaceful life he had before.
He hadn’t even had time to feel happy yet,
Mu Xinghai leaned in and kissed his slightly reddened lips.
Like someone experiencing the stirrings of first love, his cheeks grew warm and his heartbeat became flustered and uneven.
Yet the way he spoke was incomparably gentle.
“Let’s date instead.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
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ChaptersChapter 1 · Rear WindowChapter 2 · Kahlil Gibran, “I Have Spit My Soul Seven Times”Chapter 3 · His ToyChapter 4 · Star GazingChapter 5 · Just a dreamChapter 6 · ColdChapter 7 · Yearning for LoveChapter 8 · A Good PersonChapter 9 · Such a good boyChapter 10 · Delivered to your doorChapter 11 · Not familiar with itChapter 12 · First loveChapter 13 · Giving giftsChapter 14 · HeartstringsChapter 15 · Chinese New YearChapter 16 · TruthChapter 17 · SeparateChapter 18 · Planting minesChapter 19 · ChoiceChapter 20 · More hereChapter 21 · Could things have gotten any worse?Chapter 22 · Not because you like me?Chapter 23 · Not because you like me?Chapter 24 · It’s a tangled mess, impossible to unravelChapter 25 · The truth has been revealedChapter 26 · Extra: 1Chapter 27 · Extra: 2Chapter 28 · Extra: 3Chapter 29 · Extra: 4Chapter 30 · Extra: 5Chapter 31 · Extra: 6Chapter 32 · Extra: 7