Mu Xinghai stared at Ruan Chen without blinking.
Ruan Chen didn’t blink either. In fact, the redness on his face slowly deepened. At first, only his cheeks had been slightly flushed but after Mu Xinghai asked that question, the color spread rapidly until his whole face turned red.
For some reason, Mu Xinghai felt a hint of regret. He thought perhaps he had frightened Ruan Chen and at the same time he felt that this setting was not very appropriate.
He should have known that Ruan Chen was an extremely reserved and shy person.
Even he himself was startled by his own question. How had he ended up proposing a romantic relationship with another man? Sleeping together a few times could perhaps be dismissed as a moment of impulse but dating was something entirely different.
Yet at this moment, he could no longer care about any of that.
Mu Xinghai’s mind was filled with only one thought:
Say yes. Hurry and say yes.
And the longer Ruan Chen hesitated, the more impatient and urgent that inner voice became.
Ruan Chen had always been someone who reacted half a beat slower than others. Recently he had become particularly aware of this about himself.
And right now, for no clear reason, Ruan Chen suddenly thought about the scene when they had first met.
It had been at his junior sister’s birthday party.
In the past three or four years, that had been the first time anyone had invited him to a birthday gathering. Moreover, the person who invited him was a girl he liked. He couldn’t refuse, so he carefully dressed himself and brought along a rather expensive gift before attending.
The party was filled with people he didn’t know or wasn’t familiar with.
Ruan Chen felt extremely awkward. He kept lowering his head and drinking water, which resulted in him running to the restroom several times.
Then Mu Xinghai had approached him first and spoken to him.
“Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?”
Even before that moment, among the crowd, Ruan Chen had already been paying special attention to Mu Xinghai.
It was partly curiosity, partly envy.
Just watching Mu Xinghai easily mingle with everyone around him filled him with admiration. Ruan Chen felt that all he knew how to do was bury himself in books and he didn’t even excel particularly well at that. In real society, it seemed that people who were good at social interaction always fared better.
For example, when it came to winning the favor of girls, he was far inferior to this man who was younger than him.
When Mu Xinghai spoke with someone, he looked directly into their eyes.
He appeared attentive and focused, without the slightest hint of perfunctory politeness.
And yet, even when he was smiling, even when you could feel his politeness and warmth, you still sensed that the distance between you and him hadn’t truly grown closer.
It wasn’t like now.
Now Ruan Chen felt that Mu Xinghai was incredibly close to him.
In his entire life, no one had ever treated him like this before.
So even though he knew that the timing was wrong, the place was wrong and even the person was wrong,
His heart was still moved.
In a confused, hesitant tone, half resisting and half yielding, Ruan Chen asked, “What do people do when they’re in a relationship?”
Just how rushed and careless must his previous relationship have been? Mu Xinghai wondered to himself but somehow that thought only made Ruan Chen seem even more endearing.
“You’ll understand once you try,” Mu Xinghai said.
Ruan Chen’s expression turned timid again.
“You just broke up…”
He still felt that this wouldn’t work.
If other people found out, it would be far too embarrassing.
“I was thinking we could keep it secret anyway,” Mu Xinghai said.
Ruan Chen froze for a moment. The tiny spark that had just ignited in his heart was instantly extinguished.
“Oh…”
His voice was as soft as a mosquito’s hum.
When Mu Xinghai saw the light in his eyes dim and his interest fade, he panicked slightly and quickly added, “I mean, same sex relationships… it’s better not to make them too public anyway. There’s no need to announce it to everyone.”
Ruan Chen nodded slowly, as if understanding.
“You’re right.”
Then he said, “I should go back to school. I still have work to do.”
Even though Ruan Chen had not uttered a single word of refusal, Mu Xinghai still felt as though he had been rejected.
Ruan Chen stood up, got dressed and prepared to leave.
Mu Xinghai wanted to ask him to stay yet the words wouldn’t come out. He could only follow anxiously behind him.
When Ruan Chen reached the door, Mu Xinghai finally said, “After a while… just give it a little time. Then I’ll tell people that we’re dating. How about that?”
Ruan Chen was sitting on the small bench by the door, tying his shoelaces.
Without lifting his head, he replied, “But we’re not dating.”
He finished tying the laces.
“You treating me as a casual partner is actually pretty good. That way you won’t feel troubled and things can just stay the way they are now.”
After saying this, Ruan Chen stood up.
Accidentally, he knocked over a bottle of men’s cologne that Mu Xinghai had casually placed on the entryway cabinet.
The scent spilled all over him.
The fragrance still hadn’t completely faded even by the next morning.
“Ah.”
Jiang Tingting immediately noticed the change in scent around him. Curious, she leaned closer and sniffed.
“Senior brother, you’re wearing perfume? This scent seems really familiar.”
She said, “My ex boyfriend liked using this cologne. Do boys all like this kind of smell?”
Ruan Chen panicked so badly that he secretly clenched his fists. Stammering, he forced out a few vague replies.
Jiang Tingting smiled.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Men paying attention to hygiene is perfectly normal.”
Ruan Chen thought for a moment before asking, “You… what kind of person was your ex boyfriend? You mentioned before that he seemed to have cheated. Did he really cheat?”
Jiang Tingting answered perfunctorily, “Him? He was just a total playboy. He had all kinds of friends and he was always out here and there having fun. He never even bothered to avoid being around other women. I never really knew what he was up to. Anyway, we’ve already broken up.”
Ruan Chen said, “That’s quite a pity…”
Jiang Tingting hadn’t heard him clearly. “What did you say, Senior Brother?”
Ruan Chen hesitated. “Nothing.”
At that moment, their advisor Song Yingyan walked in through the doorway.
Jiang Tingting suddenly turned toward him and said, “Actually, you know, I was almost at the point of discussing marriage with Mu Xinghai. We’d even said that during the New Year this year he would take me home to meet his parents. His mother had also said she wanted us to go abroad together to study but there was no helping it, I still care more about feelings and love.”
Ruan Chen froze for a moment.
Before he could say anything, Song Yingyan walked over and asked, “What are you two talking about?”
Jiang Tingting looked at him and said, “We’re gossiping. Professor, do you want to hear it?”
Ruan Chen glanced toward Song Yingyan.
Song Yingyan was thirty six this year. His features were upright and refined and he stood around one meter eighty tall. Although he couldn’t compare with Mu Xinghai’s striking handsomeness, he was still quite dignified in appearance. As the youngest doctoral advisor in the university, both his work and his research had progressed smoothly and he always carried an air of confidence and ambition.
Even though their professor tried to hide it, Ruan Chen could still sense that he was in a bad mood. Song Yingyan gave a faint laugh and said, “No need.”
Then he turned toward Ruan Chen and said, “You really have a lot of free time. I asked you to guide your junior sister yet you’re just chatting here. Are you that confident you’ll pass your defense this year?”
The remark startled Ruan Chen so much that he hurriedly replied, “I’ll get back to work right away…”
What kind of mess is this? Ruan Chen thought helplessly.
He stayed busy for the rest of the day, another day passing by in a blur.
Carrying a mind full of worries, he returned to his dormitory. He hoped Mu Xinghai wouldn’t come looking for him but when Mu Xinghai really didn’t contact him, he felt a bit lonely.
Several days passed like this.
Then Ruan Chen received a message saying that two packages had arrived for him.
He went to pick them up.
One package contained winter clothes and the other contained a carpet.
Ruan Chen was very happy at first, thinking that his family must have sent them but when he called to ask, they said it wasn’t from them.
Soon after, Mu Xinghai contacted him.
“Senior Brother Ruan, I bought you some things. Make sure you pick them up.”
Ruan Chen replied, “Are they the clothes and the carpet? I’ve already received them.”
Mu Xinghai said, “Those two already arrived? There are more. I bought five or six other items and there’s also a bookshelf but it has to be assembled. Do you know how to put it together? If not, I can come over and help you assemble it later.”
Mu Xinghai had spent several days thinking about things, his thoughts tangled and unclear, unable to sort them out for the time being.
He thought that perhaps he should start by letting Ruan Chen’s life gradually be filled with traces of himself.
He wanted to give Ruan Chen things, like placing one gift after another, slowly placing pieces of himself into Ruan Chen’s heart.
Until it was completely filled.
He would act first and think later.
After a long pause, Ruan Chen finally replied.
“Why are you giving me things?”
Mu Xinghai said, “Do you like them? As long as you like them, that’s all that matters.”
Ruan Chen said softly, “…Thank you.”
He couldn’t bring himself to refuse.
No one had ever treated him well.
Even the smallest bit of kindness made him reluctant to let go, even if that kindness was not entirely pure.
He muttered to himself inwardly that this must be how Mu Xinghai pursued women. The way he gave gifts was considerate and attentive, it was no wonder he had always succeeded so easily.
If only he could be like Mu Xinghai.
Then Mu Xinghai said again, “The holidays are coming soon, Senior Brother Ruan. When the vacation starts, how about we travel somewhere together? I’ll pay for everything, you just need to come along. I’ll take you to see the stars.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
This translator has been caught working for free again. Scandalous.
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Rear WindowChapter 2 · Kahlil Gibran, “I Have Spit My Soul Seven Times”Chapter 3 · His ToyChapter 4 · Star GazingChapter 5 · Just a dreamChapter 6 · ColdChapter 7 · Yearning for LoveChapter 8 · A Good PersonChapter 9 · Such a good boyChapter 10 · Delivered to your doorChapter 11 · Not familiar with itChapter 12 · First loveChapter 13 · Giving giftsChapter 14 · HeartstringsChapter 15 · Chinese New YearChapter 16 · TruthChapter 17 · SeparateChapter 18 · Planting minesChapter 19 · ChoiceChapter 20 · More hereChapter 21 · Could things have gotten any worse?Chapter 22 · Not because you like me?Chapter 23 · Not because you like me?Chapter 24 · It’s a tangled mess, impossible to unravelChapter 25 · The truth has been revealedChapter 26 · Extra: 1Chapter 27 · Extra: 2Chapter 28 · Extra: 3Chapter 29 · Extra: 4Chapter 30 · Extra: 5Chapter 31 · Extra: 6Chapter 32 · Extra: 7