He had made the doctor angry.
No one was coming tonight.
The husband who had promised to take him away was not coming either.
No one was going to save him.
If he wanted to survive, he would have to save himself.
Every hospital room had a call button.
It was installed beside the bed.
As long as he pressed it, the nurses at the station would definitely come immediately.
You Li was using every ounce of strength in his body to resist the force dragging him by the ankle.
But the room was too empty.
Too barren.
Too cold.
There was nothing around him except the smooth, icy floor.
Nothing he could grab.
Nothing he could cling to.
His cries for help were not quiet.
In fact, they echoed loudly through the darkness.
Yet the room seemed to have somehow vanished from the world itself.
As though it had been isolated from reality.
Not a single person responded.
Not a single person noticed.
In the darkness, You Li could see nothing.
His already blurred vision was smeared with tears.
He felt abandoned.
Completely abandoned.
Trapped alone with the unseen monster.
Locked away together in this room where no one else could reach him.
It was terrifying.
So terrifying.
His fingertips scraped against the cracks in the floor until they felt raw.
Until it seemed they might begin to bleed.
Yet no matter how desperately he fought, he could not stop himself from being dragged backward little by little into the darkness.
At last, even the System seemed unable to bear watching any longer.
“Stop resisting.”
Its voice was cold and detached.
“He’s a lunatic.”
“He won’t pity you.”
“If you don’t want your fingers anymore, keep clawing at the floor.”
Then it paused.
Its next words sounded almost like instructions.
“Be obedient.”
“Don’t struggle.”
You Li was so frightened that he began repeating the System’s words unconsciously.
His voice dissolved into sobs.
“I’ll be good…”
“I’ll be good…”
“I’ll listen…”
“I’m listening…”
“I’ve let go…”
“I won’t run…”
“I won’t run anymore…”
Slowly, he released his grip on the floor.
As though surrendering himself to death.
As though accepting the inevitable.
All resistance faded from his body.
He allowed himself to be dragged backward.
Unexpectedly, the force pulling him seemed to ease.
The movement became slower.
Gentler.
You Li didn’t know why.
Perhaps the thing wanted to torment him.
Perhaps it was enjoying his fear.
Admiring it.
Savoring it.
Or perhaps there was some other reason entirely.
Gradually, he forced himself to stop crying.
He held his breath.
Then, the instant he sensed the thing’s attention relax,
He moved.
Without hesitation.
Without warning.
Using both hands to support himself, he scrambled forward desperately.
Half crawling.
Half rolling.
Throwing himself toward where he remembered the hospital bed should be.
His fingers finally found the cold iron frame of the bed.
Then the bedside cabinet.
Struggling, he pulled himself upright and began frantically searching through the darkness.
Looking.
Feeling.
Desperately trying to locate the call button.
Behind him, everything had become unnaturally silent.
But You Li no longer had the spare attention to care.
It’s here.
It’s here somewhere.
It has to be.
The moment he found it, he pressed it repeatedly.
Again.
Again.
Again.
His palm slapped against it desperately.
The instant the button clicked beneath his fingers, every muscle in his body relaxed.
Relief washed through him so suddenly that he nearly collapsed.
His strength disappeared.
He slid onto the floor beside the bedside cabinet.
In the endless darkness and suffocating silence, he curled himself into a tiny ball.
Trembling.
Shivering.
Waiting quietly for the nurses to arrive.
He could even hear the clock ticking.
Second after second.
Minute after minute.
The sound seemed unnaturally clear.
The room was so quiet.
Too quiet.
And so dark.
Why hadn’t the nurses arrived yet?
How much time had passed?
It felt like forever.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Five minutes.
Five entire minutes passed.
No one opened the door to You Li’s room.
No one came.
You Li curled himself even tighter.
Smaller.
Smaller still.
His fear reached its limit.
And finally, despair settled in.
Tonight, no one was coming.
No one at all.
He could feel it.
There was more than one presence in this room.
It had not left.
It had never left.
It was still here.
Watching.
Waiting.
The punishment for his earlier resistance had not yet arrived.
It felt like an executioner’s blade suspended high above his head.
Held there deliberately.
Making him wait.
Making him dread the moment it finally fell.
Then,
A voice suddenly whispered beside his ear.
“So You Lied to me.”
You Li instinctively turned toward the sound.
But all he saw was darkness.
Endless darkness.
Nothing else.
He immediately covered both ears with his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.
The voice continued.
“You weren’t obedient.”
“You still wanted to run.”
A pause.
Then another whisper.
“You were always good at running away.”
“You abandoned me so many times.”
Its tone was calm.
Almost conversational.
Which somehow made it even more frightening.
“You really never learn how to behave.”
Another pause.
Then a soft chuckle.
“Would you stop running if you were dead?”
You Li couldn’t hear the words clearly.
The voice sounded muffled.
As though something stood between the speaker and the world.
As though the speaker’s face was hidden behind something.
Covered by something.
Almost instantly, an image surfaced in his mind.
The grotesque clown mask.
The one with the exaggerated grin stretched unnaturally wide across its face.
And behind it,
Those eyes.
Those cold, merciless eyes.
Eyes that never contained even the slightest trace of pity.
Eyes filled with cruel amusement.
Eyes that seemed to enjoy watching him struggle.
Watching him fear.
Watching him break.
You Li buried his face against his knees, pressing his trembling mouth into the flesh of his legs in a futile attempt to muffle his sobs.
Instinctively, over and over again, he pleaded,
“Don’t kill me.”
“Don’t kill me.”
“I’ll learn.”
“I’ll learn, I promise.”
He couldn’t feel anything beside him.
There was no sense of another person’s presence.
No breathing.
No body heat.
No indication of where the voice was coming from.
Nothing.
It was as though it appeared from thin air and vanished just as easily.
Then, suddenly, the hand he had clamped over his ear was seized.
The grip wasn’t painful.
But it was absolute.
For a long time, neither side moved.
For a long, unbearable time, it felt as though he was being watched.
Examined.
Measured.
Only after what seemed like forever did that sharp, piercing killing intent slowly begin to recede.
You Li couldn’t feel any physical contact.
And yet an invisible force seemed to compel him.
Slowly.
Relentlessly.
His arm was raised against his will.
He tried to struggle.
The moment he moved, agony exploded through his wrist.
You Li let out a choked sob and immediately froze.
He didn’t dare resist again.
His wrists were lifted high above his head.
Then pinned against the bedside cabinet beside him.
His legs, which had been curled tightly together, seemed to be forced apart by another unseen pressure.
Powerless.
Immobilized.
Raised awkwardly against something that wasn’t there.
It felt as though a person had somehow occupied the empty space before him.
A person he couldn’t see.
You Li’s legs lacked the strength to resist.
He couldn’t fight.
Couldn’t escape.
Yet thankfully, perhaps because he had stopped struggling, the pain didn’t return.
All he could do was stare helplessly.
His eyes were wide open.
Fixed on the darkness in front of him.
The empty air.
The tears still hadn’t stopped.
They rolled continuously from the corners of his eyes.
Sliding down his cheeks.
Gathering beneath his chin.
Then falling.
Drop after drop.
Pat.
Pat.
Pat.
The sound echoed softly in the darkness.
He looked pitiful beyond words.
The most terrifying part was that he couldn’t even tell what was happening to him.
He couldn’t feel it.
Couldn’t sense it.
Couldn’t understand it.
The System seemed capable of seeing what he could not.
Its voice sounded cold inside his mind.
“It’s licking your eyes.”
You Li’s mind exploded into blankness.
For a moment, he almost genuinely felt a long tongue pass over the tears gathered on his lashes.
Instinctively, he squeezed his eyes shut.
Whatever this thing was, it clearly disliked resistance.
Disliked disobedience.
You Li had no way to fight back.
He could only tremble.
Helpless.
Powerless.
Shaking from head to toe.
As though trying to deceive himself, he turned his face away.
His voice was faint.
Unsteady.
Barely audible.
“…It’s a hallucination.”
“A hallucination.”
Something seemed to brush over the injuries on his fingertips.
Warm.
Damp.
Gone an instant later.
“It’s a hallucination.”
A breath appeared near his neck.
It felt as though someone had buried their face against him.
Inhaling deeply.
Greedily.
Drawing in his scent.
The sensation lasted only a second.
Then vanished.
“It’s my hallucination.”
Something cold traced along his cheek.
The sensation resembled polished metal.
A fleeting flash of chill.
A brief gleam.
Then nothing.
“It’s not real.”
“It’s not real…”
The cold object seemed to wander lazily across his body.
Lingering.
Exploring.
Yet You Li could feel almost none of it.
The only indication that anything had happened came when a loose thread on his oversized hospital trousers was caught.
Then severed.
A narrow tear opened in the fabric.
He couldn’t even tell where the cold object was.
Couldn’t tell where it touched.
Couldn’t tell where it had gone.
The space before him remained completely empty.
“There is no world like this.”
“This world is fake.”
“Fake.”
“Wake up.”
“Wake up…”
“Wake, ”
Something suddenly silenced him.
His mouth fell open helplessly.
The words died before they could leave his throat.
Only broken whimpers remained.
Tears streamed freely down his face.
The bright trail of moisture gathered at his lips.
Spilled from the corners of his mouth.
Dripping downward.
His sobs sounded small.
Pathetic.
And no matter how pitiful he looked, it earned him no sympathy.
No mercy.
No compassion.
You Li didn’t know how much time passed.
It felt endless.
By the end, his tears seemed almost exhausted.
His body shook from maintaining such an unnatural posture.
For a long stretch of time, all sensation seemed to disappear.
As though he were the only person left in the room.
The only person left in the world.
Then, after what felt like an eternity, he abruptly sensed something damp brush against him.
Startled, You Li lowered his head.
Trying to look.
Trying to understand.
But there was nothing there.
Nothing visible.
Nothing remained.
A moment later, the invisible restraint vanished.
His body was finally released.
His trembling face seemed to receive something almost resembling a reward.
A fleeting touch.
A kiss.
And still, You Li had no idea what had happened to him.
No idea what had been done.
His body gave out completely.
He slid limply onto the floor.
Remaining frozen.
Too frightened to move.
Too frightened to breathe.
Too frightened to even blink.
Only after a very long time did he cautiously shift.
Testing.
Waiting.
When nothing stopped him, terror finally overtook everything else.
He scrambled away.
Frantically.
Desperately.
Crawling toward the darkness beneath the bed.
The space underneath was pitch black.
A place where even an outstretched hand would disappear from sight.
Yet You Li desperately lacked any sense of safety.
He wanted to hide.
Needed to hide.
But he didn’t know where.
There was nowhere to go.
Nowhere to escape.
The hospital bed happened to stand against the wall.
You Li squeezed himself into the furthest corner beneath it.
His back pressed tightly against the cold wall.
Curled on his side.
Making himself as small as possible.
A tiny bundle.
As though reducing his size might somehow make him disappear.
Yet even after retreating into such a miserable little corner, that nameless presence still seemed unwilling to leave him alone.
It felt as though it followed him beneath the bed.
As though it had crawled into the darkness after him.
You Li had the distinct illusion of being embraced.
The two of them seemed crowded together inside that narrow, shadow filled space.
The other presence felt larger than him.
Much larger.
Forced to bend and curl itself into an uncomfortable shape simply to fit.
Yet no matter what, it wouldn’t leave.
Wouldn’t move away.
It always pressed closer.
As though seeking warmth.
As though yearning for it.
As though it desperately needed to hold him.
As though this was how things had always been meant to be.
Holding each other.
Fitting together.
Existing as one.
Then a voice whispered beside his ear.
“I missed you.”
You Li closed his eyes.
For reasons he couldn’t explain, he suddenly felt the sadness hidden within those words.
A deep sadness.
A loneliness.
His chest felt strangely hollow.
Though the fear remained.
Still lingering.
Still refusing to leave.
And so he remained there.
Curled beneath the bed.
Staring blankly into the darkness before him.
Held by something he couldn’t see.
The entire night passed that way.
He was exhausted.
So exhausted that every part of him ached with fatigue.
Yet he didn’t dare sleep.
Not even for a second.
He simply kept his eyes open.
Silent.
Motionless.
Absent mindedly staring ahead.
Until dawn finally arrived.
Until sunlight streamed through the hospital window.
The hospital was surprisingly humane in certain ways.
Aside from the nurses assigned to night duty, most staff only began work at eight in the morning.
The doctor had just settled into the consultation room.
He had only recently taken over from the night shift staff when one of the morning nurses knocked on his door.
“Doctor You?”
The nurses only addressed him that way when no patients were present.
She looked anxious.
“I was doing morning rounds just now and discovered that Patient Thirteen wasn’t in his room.”
“I gathered several other nurses and searched for him.”
“Eventually, we found him under the bed.”
The nurse hesitated.
“He somehow crawled underneath it.”
“He seems extremely frightened of us.”
“He’s been curled up in the corner the entire time.”
“Whenever we get close, he starts shaking badly.”
“We’ve tried talking to him.”
“Tried comforting him.”
“But he refuses to come out.”
“We don’t dare move the bed by force.”
“We’re worried it might worsen his mental state.”
She paused.
Then asked carefully,
“Would You Like to go take a look?”
“Or… should we leave him alone like yesterday?”
The doctor was cleaning his glasses.
He didn’t answer immediately.
A few moments later, he rose to his feet.
“Then let’s go see him.”
When the doctor arrived at Room Thirteen and crouched down to peer beneath the bed, he spotted the young man immediately.
You Li looked exhausted.
Listless.
Completely drained of energy.
Curled into a tiny ball in the corner.
Dust from the floor had stained his clothes.
His once clean hospital uniform was now dirty and wrinkled.
He seemed asleep.
Yet he also seemed astonishingly easy to startle.
The moment he sensed someone looking at him from outside the bed, his eyes snapped open.
His gaze met the hem of the doctor’s white coat hanging toward the floor.
The doctor observed him silently for a moment.
Then he extended a hand.
“Come here.”
You Li watched him warily.
The doctor’s voice was gentle.
“I don’t know what happened to you last night.”
“But if you continue lying on the floor like this, you’ll get sick.”
His tone softened further, almost coaxing.
“Being sick feels awful.”
“Aren’t you the one who hates being sick the most?”
“Come out first.”
“Let’s get you changed into clean clothes.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Do you still want some warm milk?”
“If you can’t sleep, we don’t have to do electrotherapy again today.”
“I can have the pharmacy prepare a sedative injection for you.”
“In dreams, you’ll be safe.”
“There’s nothing there.”
For a very long time, You Li did not respond.
Only after what felt like ages did he finally speak.
His voice was hoarse.
Faint.
Still carrying traces of tears.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“They’re fake.”
“It’s all fake.”
The doctor instructed the nurses to leave the room.
One by one, they quietly stepped outside.
The door closed behind them.
The room fell silent once more.
Then the doctor crouched down again and extended his hand beneath the bed.
He began counting silently in his head.
Three minutes.
Three minutes was usually how long it took.
Three minutes later, his fingertips finally brushed against the warm, slender fingers hidden in the darkness.
The boy’s hands were still trembling.
The doctor closed his fingers around them.
Firmly.
Patiently.
Then he carefully pulled him out.
Half guiding.
Half carrying.
Supporting him as he emerged from beneath the bed.
The very instant You Li crawled out,
The doctor’s expression changed.
It happened so quickly that it was almost imperceptible.
The warmth vanished.
The gentleness disappeared.
His gaze turned cold.
Cold enough to freeze the air around him.
His eyes settled on the tear running through the fabric of You Li’s hospital trousers.
A narrow slit.
Cleanly cut.
And above that opening,
Something had already dried there.
Evidence that had long since lost its moisture.
The doctor’s gaze lingered.
Silent.
Still.
Dangerously still.
You Li felt uncomfortable beneath that stare.
As though something sharp had pierced through him.
Yet he remained completely unaware of what the doctor was looking at.
Completely unaware of what had happened.
Instinctively, he shrank back a little.
Like a frightened animal.
The System, which could see everything the doctor saw, suddenly let out a cold laugh inside his mind.
The sound carried a strange mixture of sympathy and schadenfreude.
As though it simultaneously pitied him and found the entire situation darkly amusing.
Of course, only You Li could hear it.
You Li himself understood nothing.
Nothing at all.
The silence lasted only a few moments.
Then, as though nothing had happened, the doctor regained his usual composure.
The icy expression disappeared.
The familiar gentleness returned.
It was almost as if he had accepted what he saw without resistance.
As if none of it mattered.
As if he simply chose not to care.
His voice remained calm.
Steady.
Warm.
“We won’t change your clothes for now.”
His gaze rested on the exhausted young man before him.
Then he spoke softly,
“Let’s take a bath first.”
A brief pause followed.
Then, in the same gentle tone,
“I’ll help you.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Nycreth
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
You read the chapter. They wrestled with the words. Seems fair, no? (￣▽￣)
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
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ChaptersChapter 1 · I have amnesia (1)Chapter 2 · I have amnesia (2)Chapter 3 · I have amnesia (3)Chapter 4 · I have amnesia (4)Chapter 5 · I have amnesia (5)Chapter 6 · I have amnesia (6)Chapter 7 · I have amnesia (7)Chapter 8 · I have amnesia (8)Chapter 9 · I have amnesia (9)Chapter 10 · I have amnesia (10)Chapter 11 · I have amnesia (11)Chapter 12 · I have amnesia (12)Chapter 13 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 14 · I have amnesia (14)Chapter 15 · I have amnesia (15)Chapter 16 · I have amnesia (16)Chapter 17 · I have amnesia (17)Chapter 18 · I have amnesia (18)Chapter 19 · I have amnesia (19)Chapter 20 · I have amnesia (20)Chapter 21 · I have amnesia (21)Chapter 22 · I have amnesia (22)Chapter 23 · I have amnesia (23)Chapter 24 · I have amnesia (24)Chapter 25 · I have amnesia (25)Chapter 26 · I have amnesia (26)Chapter 27 · I have amnesia (27)Chapter 28 · I have amnesia (28)Chapter 29 · Desert Highway (1)Chapter 30 · Desert Highway (2)Chapter 31 · Desert Highway (3)Chapter 32 · Desert Highway (4)Chapter 33 · Desert Highway (5)Chapter 34 · Desert Highway (6)Chapter 35 · Desert Highway (7)Chapter 36 · Desert Highway (8)Chapter 37 · Desert Highway (9)Chapter 38 · Desert Highway (10)Chapter 39 · Desert Highway (11)Chapter 40 · Desert Highway (12)Chapter 41 · Desert Highway (13)Chapter 42 · Desert Highway (14)Chapter 43 · Desert Highway (15)