“No, it’s just the heat.”
I shrugged as casually as I could. Park Sion smiled softly at me.
“Then let’s go eat something good.”
Unlike Park Sion, who took my hand without hesitation and led the way, I could barely feel strength in my legs. What was today’s temperature again? It had to be the hottest day of the year. Otherwise, there’s no way my face would be this red.
I wiped away the sweat trickling down my neck and tried not to notice how close Park Sion was beside me. But my efforts were pointless—the heat of summer carried his scent straight to me. By the time we reached the restaurant, all the strength in my body had drained away. I was utterly exhausted.
The place he brought me to looked expensive—a high-end beef restaurant. The thought of grilling meat in the heat of day made me anxious, but thankfully, the inside was cool and well-ventilated. The staff even grilled the meat for us.
Nothing beats beef when it comes to regaining energy. The juicy marbled cuts were enough to make my mouth water. I put a piece, still slightly rare, into my mouth, and the juices burst out—it tasted incredible. Like the entire world had melted away, leaving just me and the beef. I devoured it so mindlessly I completely forgot how nervous I’d been about Park Sion earlier. While I sat there like a baby bird being fed meat grilled by the staff, our eyes met.
“That good?”
Sion chuckled as he looked at me like I was ridiculous. Embarrassed, I gave a sheepish smile and slowly put my chopsticks down. He poured Coke into a glass and gently pushed it toward me.
“Eat a lot. I’ll order more if it’s not enough.”
“You should eat too.”
“Just watching you eat fills me up.”
He smiled again and slid even his own portion onto my plate. Sharing his meat like this? That’s moral character right there.
“So now I’m your favorite, right?”
“Huh?”
“You said you like beef the most. I’ll buy it for you every day, so now you have to like me the most.”
“Khck…!”
I’d let my guard down in front of beef, and Park Sion went in for the kill. His sneak attack came without warning, and my brain practically short-circuited. Afraid my cheeks would turn red again, I grabbed a cheongyang pepper and shoved it in my mouth. If he asked why my face was so flushed, I’d just say the pepper was too spicy. As I chewed through the fire, I could feel his gaze boring into me.
“Want one?”
“No thanks. I can’t handle spicy.”
It irritated me that I seemed to be the only one constantly blushing. I felt like if I saw Sion suffering from eating one of these evil peppers, I might feel less alone in my humiliation. I put on a haughty expression and said smugly,
“This isn’t even spicy. Try one.”
“Nope.”
“What are you, still a kid? Can’t even eat a pepper.”
“I’m not a kid.”
“Yeah right, you’re still a baby. Man, you need to grow up more.”
“…Hey, Seonwoo.”
“Yeah?”
“I am grown.”
That confident gaze stabbed straight into me. Confidence I didn’t need to see. Sure, he was tall, had big hands, broad shoulders—everything about him was grown, sure. I was not implying anything weird. I told myself not to take it the wrong way, but my face burned red anyway. Goddamn it. This pepper is fucking spicy.
“Your face is red again.”
“…It’s spicier than I thought.”
“Pfft, you said it wasn’t.”
Sion laughed as I threw the rest of the pepper aside in defeat. Only when I grumbled at him to knock it off did he finally stop chuckling. Then he gently coaxed me by placing another bite of meat in my mouth. I sat there and obediently accepted it, waiting for the heat in my face to fade.
After the meal, Park Sion went to pay first. The price was kind of steep, and I felt a bit guilty letting him cover it all. Come to think of it, I hadn’t spent a single cent all day. I figured I should at least treat him to coffee and dragged him to a nearby café.
Luckily, there was a franchise spot just a short walk away. We walked side by side, and I reached out to open the door. But then I froze in place. Dead still.
Sion, who was a step ahead of me, turned back.
“Seonwoo?”
His voice rang in my ears like tinnitus. It was the weekend, and the café was buzzing with noise. But amid the crowd, one familiar face filled my entire field of vision.
A face I never wanted to see again.
Kim Shinju.
My legs backed away before I could think. Sion looked at me, noticed the blood draining from my face, then turned toward the café.
“What’s wrong?”
“…Let’s just go home. I need to go home.”
I rushed to open the door and walked out. I didn’t want to fall apart in front of Sion. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like Kim Shinju had seen me. If he had, there’s no way he would’ve just let me leave.
I clenched my jaw and walked faster. No one was chasing me, but I kept glancing over my shoulder. Sion quietly adjusted his pace, placing a steady hand on my shoulder.
Back in the taxi he hailed, I gnawed at my fingernails, anxiety roiling in my gut.
I never thought I’d run into that bastard in broad daylight like this. Then again, this neighborhood wasn’t big. I guess I’d just gotten lucky up to now, keeping our paths from crossing. But eventually, it was bound to happen. The sight of his still-smug, well-fed-looking face made the beef in my stomach turn sour. I should’ve broken his arm, not just his pride.
I wanted to cry. After everything he did—getting me expelled, tased—and here I was, still terrified of him. I’d sworn that if I ever ran into him again, I’d leave him dickless. But when the moment came, all I did was run away like a coward.
My hands were shaking. Sion gently took one and laced his fingers through mine. He stared at me, then rested my head lightly on his shoulder. His scent soothed me. Just like he always did, I pressed my forehead against him and took a deep breath.
At least… at least Sion wasn’t dragged into this too. I had no way of protecting him from someone like Kim Shinju. I’d experienced firsthand the physical difference between us. So I had to run. It was the best choice.
Still staring ahead, Sion spoke calmly.
“That was Kim Shinju, right?”
“…What?”
“The guy in the café. That was him, wasn’t it?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent. Sometimes silence is an answer.
“What did he do to you?”
Sion turned his head and looked at me. Our eyes locked.
“Or… did you really do something to him?”
He brushed my bangs up from my forehead. It was the first time he’d asked me directly about the disgusting rumors that clung to me. My throat closed up. I bit my lip hard. His eyes waited—firm, unwavering.
“I…”
Every time I claimed innocence, the words echoed back at me, empty. No one had listened. No one had believed me. But just now, I felt certain—if it was Sion, he’d believe me. No matter what. I’ve never done anything to be ashamed of. I was just unlucky and weak.
“…I’ve never done anything shameful. I mean it.”
I didn’t even want to say the words molestation or anything like it. I tiptoed around it as much as I could. Sion’s expression turned unreadable. His fingers at the corner of my mouth grew sticky and lingering.
“That bastard hit you?”
I didn’t answer. Just nodded quietly. Sion tilted his head and asked again.
“Where? How?”
“…Just… yeah.”
I didn’t want to relive it. I lowered my head. Sion gently lifted my chin with his fingers and traced the space around my mouth and cheek as if mapping out invisible wounds.
“Did it hurt?”
“…Yeah, it hurt.”
“Did you cry?”
The question caught me off guard. Why ask that? I blinked, unsure, and he pressed again, gripping my arm.
“Did you cry?”
His voice sounded colder, for some reason. Was he interrogating me now? I stared at him, dazed, before muttering:
“…No.”
“Good.”
Getting praised for not crying—what even was that? It didn’t fit the moment. I looked at him, confused. His hand slid gently down the back of my neck. His touch was soft, but it sent shivers down my spine. I glanced nervously at the taxi driver and tried to push him off.
I caught a glimpse of his face. That smug, satisfied little smile.
***
During summer break, Park Sion came to my house every day without fail. Ever since the run-in with Kim Shinju, I’d been avoiding going out, so we spent almost all our time inside.
And there wasn’t much to do at home. I mostly zoned out watching online lectures, and Park Sion quietly solved practice problems beside me. When the mood shifted, we made out.
Lately, it was like I’d been possessed by some kind of horny demon. Every time I looked at Sion, I kept thinking about kissing him. So I tried not to look at him at all. I forced my eyes to stay glued to the monitor, resisting the urge to glance sideways. The only sounds in the room were the hum of the A/C and the scratch of pencils on paper.
The teacher in the video kept saying something, but my eyes kept slipping shut. My hand, still trying to take notes, skidded across the page, scribbling nonsense. I sucked down the lemonade Park Sion had bought for me in an effort to wake up. It was so sour that I swirled the ice with my straw, and a refreshing clinking sound echoed between the cubes.
Come to think of it, a lot had happened during this break. I went on a trip with friends for the first time in my life. I learned Park Sion’s secret. And somehow, I even made a secret with him. How did it come to this?
We ignored the summons from Kim Youngjin and Shin Jaeyoung and chose isolation. The calls to play games together, ringing at all hours, stopped after Park Sion blocked Youngjin. I did quietly unblock him when Sion wasn’t around, but after getting rejected so many times, Youngjin must’ve gotten discouraged—he hadn’t reached out since.
Being together all day meant we naturally touched more. Sion had always been the clingy type, but these days, he was like a fish in water.
I quietly started counting the days left until school started. I hadn’t done much, and somehow break was already almost over. Just this weekend left. Soon, I’d be spending more time at school than at home. Could I really keep going like this with Park Sion? Anxiety crept in. I let out a long sigh, and Sion, head still buried in a workbook, looked up at me.
“Tired?”
“Yeah, a little.”
He slowly moved closer. The A/C was on full blast, and I’d been feeling a little chilly, but his warmth against my arm made me feel good. His pale hand smoothed over the goosebumps rising on my skin. I felt his familiar gaze drift down to my lips again. Knowing how that always ended, I ducked my head quickly. He laughed lazily above me. I put on a serious face and called out:
“Hey, Park Sion.”
“Yeah?”
“There are a few things we need to get straight before school starts.”
At my words, he smiled with his eyes, like he was humoring me. I quickly looked away, afraid I’d start smiling too.
“It’s fine at home, but at school—absolutely not.”
“What isn’t?”
“What do you think? Physical stuff.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say kissing, so I glossed over it as physical stuff. As soon as I did, Sion pulled me by the nape and planted a kiss on my lips. Smack, smack—the wet sounds echoed around the room. His tongue slipped deep into my mouth. The sensation of them mingling made my whole body flush. After a long moment of devouring my lips, he pulled back.
“You mean stuff like that, right?”
“…”
“Got it. I won’t do any of that at school.”
His cool eyes curved as he placed another peck on my lips. Was he teasing me? Probably just my imagination.
“Not just kisses—be careful about other stuff, too.”
“Okay. I won’t make you worry.”
Like calming a child, he ruffled my bangs. I closed my eyes at the gentle touch and opened them again. The fading sunset outside spilled across his cheek in a soft glow. I raised my hand to his face—where the last traces of bruises had finally disappeared.
“You’re all healed now.”
“I’ve been healed. Were you still worried about that?”
“Of course I was.”
“…”
“Things have been okay lately, right?”
I asked cautiously. I’d heard his father was often out of town lately, but I was still concerned. The new semester was starting soon. That kind of thing couldn’t be allowed to happen again.
“You said as long as you don’t mess up, things are fine. Is that really true?”
“Hmm. It’s true, but… it’s kind of iffy.”
“What do you mean?”
“My very existence is a mistake.”
My hand, which had been caressing his cheek, froze in place. Park Sion met my eyes with an unchanging expression. Then his beautiful face split into a wry smile.
“I’m illegitimate.”
He said it like a joke—grinning mischievously. The line between truth and sarcasm was so blurred I didn’t know how to respond. My hand, which had been resting on his cheek, slipped away. He caught it and brought it back to his face. It felt like he was silently asking me to touch him more, to comfort him more. As he nuzzled his face into my palm, he kept speaking. His voice was low, but I caught a bitter sneer beneath it.
“I’m a bastard, a dirty little secret my father can’t let anyone find out. A thorn in the eye of my stepmother and sister… so even the smallest mistake isn’t allowed.”
He winked with a twisted smile. Something about the curve of his lips made my chest ache. After staring at the floor for a moment, Sion turned and looked directly at me. For a split second, the air around him seemed to shift.
“I’m the shame and the disgrace of my family. But to you… what am I?”
It was a question directed at me, but it somehow sounded like he was asking himself. I looked out the window, then turned back to him. When our eyes met, this time Sion was the one to look away. He gazed out the window, and his eyes looked strangely hollow. Even the deepening hues of the sunset couldn’t wash away the darkness in his gaze.
I stared into those deep, dark eyes—like all the light in the world had been swallowed whole. And then I thought about the question he’d asked me.
What is he to me?
All that “shame” and “irreversible sin” his family dumped on him—it was meaningless to me. I stripped that stigma away. Just as he had once called me special, I asked myself what it was that made him so.
Propped on his elbows, Sion tilted his head and stared at me in silence.
“You’re…”
“…”
“…my Sion.”
“Pfft. What the hell is that?”
He let out a deflated laugh. His face showed a flicker of disappointment, but I continued.
“Your name—Sion. It means the paradise of the outcast.”
Zion. The land for the displaced, the only haven for the banished. A utopia on the map that welcomes the persecuted. A place to plant your feet and begin again, where you can sing hope instead of sorrow.
“You were the one who approached me first when I transferred.”
You reached out to me, the loner who was drowning in a miserable past. Because of you, I’m not alone anymore. I learned to trust again, to take a step forward into something new. So you’re just you—Sion.
“…That’s why you’re my Sion.”
“…”
Park Sion, who always smiled so prettily in front of me, stared at me in a daze. Maybe I said something too sappy—embarrassment crept up on me. But then, a crack appeared in his composed expression.
“God, Yoon Seonwoo… seriously…”
And then he smiled—more beautifully than I’d ever seen. It was the kind of laugh that only came when he was truly happy. I loved that smile. That boyish, unfiltered smile. It lit up the air like sunlight breaking into petals.
Then, out of nowhere, Park Sion hugged me tightly. He nuzzled his lips against my cheek and whispered sweetly.
“What do I do… I think I really like you.”
When did you ever not like me? I said offhandedly. In response, he squeezed me so tightly I couldn’t breathe. I just wanted to keep seeing that smile. So I patted his back and gently pulled him away.
The sunlight through the window kissed the bridge of his nose. The tangerine sky pooled in the dimples on his cheeks. I lifted my hand and brushed his pale, golden-lit skin. Hoping that no more bruises would ever darken it again.
“You’re beautiful.”
Can a person really look this beautiful? Seeing Park Sion backlit by sunset made my heart swell with something indescribable. It wasn’t a thought—it was a feeling that hit me before my brain could catch up.
Like catching a whiff of summer in the air, or sensing autumn in a clear sky—
That’s how I realized my feelings for Park Sion.
Shit. I think I really do like this bastard.
When I called him beautiful, his eyes trembled faintly. He looked at me, his expression strangely vulnerable.
“I’m beautiful?”
“Yeah.”
“Then… keep thinking that. Keep thinking I’m beautiful.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. The corners of his smiling eyes tilted down just slightly. I reached out and gently touched those sorrow-shadowed eyes. The way he looked at me—it was like a puppy terrified of being abandoned.
“Don’t throw me away just because you get tired of me. Keep loving me till the end.”
“…Why are you saying that like you’re a dog?”
“Just say yes.”
“Okay.”
His smile stretched wide across his face. I couldn’t look away from that sunset-tinted grin. My own lips tingled.
A perfect honor student. The son of a famous politician. An eighteen-year-old boy with XY chromosomes, just like me. A boy who, to some, might be a scheming bastard—someone’s stain of shame. But I liked him.
“I like you, Park Sion.”
Not the image. Not the rumors. Just you, as you are. I want you to keep smiling. Not calculated, forced smiles—but the kind that spills out when you can’t hold back your joy.
“Can I kiss you?”
Instead of answering, I pulled him in by the nape. When I made the first move, he burst into laughter again. And I laughed along with him.
I gazed at his face—smiling with crescent eyes like a kid—and pressed a kiss to his cheek. The golden sunset shimmered through his long, fluttering lashes. I couldn’t look away. Our lips found each other again without anyone making the first move. The tangerine dusk swirled softly between us.