At the very center of the black obsidian room, a figure sat upon a massive throne.
His right chin rested on his palm, while his left hand idly touched the weird-looking armrest.
And if you are wondering why it was weird... well, it looked exactly like a dildo.
And if you’re asking who this seated entity is... well, it’s me, or more specifically, the Villain.
Plump, reputed to be the most notorious Villain of the web novel called "So, I’m a Villain." which I happened to read just last night.
It was an ecchi novel about a hero conquering evil forces alongside his beautiful heroines... while cuckolding those designated as the villains of his life, claiming he saved the damsels from the embrace of darkness.
It was a typical hero cliché...a hypocritical, trashy protagonist who sleeps with and steals everyone else’s women.
Meanwhile, the ugly truth remained hidden behind the bars of his so-called justice, masking his true nature as a savior who conquers wickedness just to expand his harem.
Its length had almost reached 9,999 Chapters and was still ongoing, rife with recycled plots detailing the supposedly wondrous adventures of the protagonist.
It was full of cuckoldry and cringe storylines... but one thing was for sure:
He is definitely not a masochist!
He was a true warrior.
Besides, as a cultured man, reading that kind of trash fiction was practically a rite of passage.
Even if it wasn’t exactly terrible, it certainly wasn’t good either... but it was incredibly famous, so why not, right?
Like that globally overrated novel, "Duo Leveling."
"Hah, fuck it... Here we go again with the usual tropes. Villain, hero, blah, blah, blah..." Urek muttered in an annoyed voice.
Urek Aret was an ordinary twenty-year-old college student whose main hobbies consisted of playing video games and reading web novels.
As for the reason how he ended up here... well, you already know the drill.
He got sucked into the screen, and voila!
Here he was, resting on a gigantic dildo in a pitch-black chamber... and that wasn’t even the worst part, considering the identity he had inherited.
For some entirely unknown reason, he had taken over the role of the final boss named Plump.
"And seriously... why the hell is his name Plump to begin with? It sounds like I should be fondling breasts or something," Urek grumbled, thoroughly insulted by the trashy moniker of the supposed ultimate villain.
He fully believed that the protagonist, named "One Flick Man" could defeat him as effortlessly as flicking a nipple!
[ Heh... you don’t have to curse, Host. It is your fate, and it is what it is. ]
"Oh man... on top of everything else, I get saddled with this system. It feels like my luck has been sucked completely dry." Urek stared at the floating screen in front of him.
The common trope of a sleek blue system interface didn’t apply here, however.
"Hey... I think I got scammed. Why are you red?" Urek questioned, poking at the display, though his fingers unfortunately just slipped right through the hologram.
[ For your information, Host, you are the greatest and most notorious villain in existence, so it is only natural that your interface is crimson. ]
"Well... that makes sense. Now, please repeat what you said from the very beginning, because the readers have no idea what just happened," Urek urged, waving his hand to let the system cook.
Obviously, since he was trapped inside a book, it meant there had to be readers, right?
[ Sigh... it feels like I’m your mother or something. ]
"Don’t talk nonsense, my dear system, just do your thing... the audience doesn’t tolerate slackers."
[ Well said, you little shit... but I shall oblige. In one... two... three. ]
Urek smirked... at least his companion wasn’t one of those malicious entities that would shove a massive object up his ass.
It was just some bizarre, bootleg system from a third-rate shop or whatever mysterious void it had crawled out from.
Ding!
[ Welcome, Host! Your assigned role is to cause absolute havoc and ultimately defeat the protagonist. ]
[ The hero is deeply loved by the goddess, making it impossible to conquer him at the moment. Therefore, you must gradually deplete his luck and steal his destiny! ]
’Oh! This type of plot is incredibly popular nowadays... Hehe, I might actually strike it rich if things work out well,’ Urek thought to himself, already visualizing himself swimming in a pool of cash.
Since he was inside a literal book, surely he could hoard massive wealth..
Or well, that was just his greedy daydream talking.
[ Fuck, stop interrupting me. ]
"Okay, okay, please continue your speech..." Urek was temporarily lost for words but decided to let the system’s attitude slide.
He was an antagonist, after all... and a true bad guy knows how to bide his time.
It would give him the perfect opportunity to thoroughly wreck the main character.
Ding!
Name: Urek Aret
Role: Villain
Core: Tier 1
Luck: Shitty
Fate: Inevitable Death ( changeable)
Villain Points: 0
Skills: Clone ( SSS+ RANK)
Bond: None
[ The Host is strictly forbidden from learning any abilities other than cloning. ]
[ The bond feature is exclusively reserved for the heroines and nothing else. ]
[ Satisfied now? ]
"Excellent... beautiful and perfect! I have a feeling we might actually get along, my dear system."
[ Heh, screw you... I hope you get cuckolded instead. ]
"..."
A long silence filled the room as Urek stopped applauding.
This interface was genuinely pissed off.
"Now, now, let’s wrap up our little skit, shall we? How exactly am I supposed to slowly dismantle the protagonist’s fate and destiny?" Urek inquired curiously.
Things were getting a bit too cringe, so it was time to get down to business.
He couldn’t just remain a laughingstock throughout the entire story; that would be a terrible performance.
He wanted to be one of those cool, intriguing villains who farmed aura in every single Chapter.
[ It’s your own choice... do whatever the hell you want. ]
’Wow... this really is a total scam. I’ve never heard of a system getting genuinely angry before,’ Urek thought, observing the floating red panel.
Was there any other guide out there quite like him?
Usually, these entities were entirely robotic and hardcoded, yet the one floating before him possessed a unique attitude.
"Hmm, I don’t think I can rely on the original plot at all."
Once again, the butterfly effect was a common trope, so he wasn’t about to bet his life savings knowing that everything was bound to shift unpredictably
"There’s no point in dwelling on it anyway. Let’s just fuck the main character’s life... and head back home!"