"Pwehhh!!! What the fuck! It’s bitter! " Sen’s nose was completely invaded by a filthy stench right against his face... and there was even a stray bit of disgusting matter that stuck itself right up his nostrils!
"Mmmm... so good, ahh I’m in heaven.." Urek, on the other hand, was feeling absolute paradise.
The lovely fragrance of a top-tier woman was all his to appreciate, not to mention the two soft melons that his face and hands subconsciously fondled.
What a life... a truly perfect life!
But that beautiful dream ended in a flash!
"Ekk!! What are you?!" The woman hadn’t even processed what had just happened... everything had unfolded into a chaotic mess.
She even forgot to recognize it as a goblin, which was currently sniffing her exquisite scent like a hit of pure dopamine.
Boomm!!!!
Well... let’s just name this woman right now.. as tracking her title is getting tiring.
Erza used all of her strength to deliver a devastating slap to the accursed creature that was sniffing her!
"Arrghh!!!!"
The green beast flew through the air like a kite, along with its attached string... which, obviously, was the hero, Ren.
Boommm... boommm.... boommmm..
The landscape twisted in a violent display.
Tall trees were simply obliterated as the two bodies passed through them without stopping, and even the solid ground was not spared.
It looked exactly like that iconic scene when "One Flick Man" fought the final boss of the first season, Baros.
As for Urek, he had already deactivated his cloning skill a fraction of a second before the impact could even reach his goblin face, saving his life from the most brutal, mind-blowing slap in human history..
"Phew... at least I’m fast, or else that would have been devastating."
[ You could have just deactivated the sensory perception of your clone, you know? You lost out on an extra 0.01 milliseconds of experiencing heaven. ]
Urek’s face twitched violently after hearing what the system said.
It was already too late for that!
’Damn it... Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!’
[ You didn’t ask, man... blame your own shitty luck. ]
Urek didn’t have any logical counterargument to offer... because what the system said was completely true.
"Damnation... I definitely squandered the opportunity to smell her a bit more."
Urek felt a sudden pang of defeat as he slammed his fist against the bark of a nearby tree.
"Now... let’s not dwell on that. At least I thoroughly enjoyed the opening arc.."
He then turned his gaze toward the clearing where the devastating display of power had just taken place.
Urek spotted Erza covering her chest with one hand, while her other palm was literally smoking from the friction, as the force of the strike was just too brutal.
We are not exaggerating when we say it was practically burning, as her slap had moved at near-lightspeed!
Okay... okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration.
Let’s say half the speed of sound.
Then, he didn’t wait around any longer after noticing that she quickly summoned a magical item and completely disappeared from view.
"Hoho... a very successful start. Now let’s see what happened to my boy... ohh, actually, it’s much better to call him my milkers now." Urek already imagined himself milking the protagonist’s fortune again and again.
Without hesitation, he began to stroll forward casually, like a simple walk in the park.
While his hands in his pockets, with a deadpan face.
He didn’t hold high expectations that the fucker would be injured in the slightest.
Ren was simply too lucky to even sustain a minor bruise, let alone get crushed by that brutal hit.
The goddess from above would probably weep and wail if anyone actually managed to harm the hero... so it was a big fat NO.
It was fundamentally impossible to hurt a protagonist equipped with thick plot armor...again, that was just the standard common trope in every fantasy story, but it really worked.
Again and again.
As for the actual shit that had smeared across Sen’s face... that part was definitely intentional.
Urek had purposefully taken a dump earlier without wiping his ass before jumping into Erza, ensuring his rear would spread perfectly to shove the grime right into the hero’s face.
As for the reason why the goddess of luck didn’t react to block the disaster, it was because Urek’s core intentions had merely been to smell and fondle the girl’s melons... nothing more.
What happened to Sen was just a pure coincidence...a very well-planned coincidence orchestrated by the most notorious villain.
"Well... well... well, that hit didn’t even leave a single bruise." Urek slowly walked up to the man who was currently wedged upside down in the dirt of a random cliff, while some vines locked his body from moving an inch.
"Mongrel! Help me out of here and I will reward you!"
The hero shouted arrogantly after spotting a man walking at a relaxed pace in his direction.
Of course, Urek wasn’t about to let this perfect opportunity to farm some aura pass him by!
The main character of Duo Leveling always did that, and Urek desperately wanted to experience that cool look too...hands stuffed casually inside his pockets, staring down with a completely deadpan face.
’Oh, man... I think I am truly built to become a legendary villain.’ Urek was incredibly satisfied with this antagonist’s introduction at the very beginning of the story.
"Fucker, are you deaf?! You shitty mongrel, come over here and pull me out!"
’Wow, this piece of shit is really running his mouth!’ Urek thought.
Now he could see why the main character of that "Shadow thingy" novel was always so ruthless about such a specific word.
Urek seriously wanted to slap the absolute shit out of this spoiled brat after hearing that insult!
Unfortunately... he couldn’t display a single shred of killing intent or malicious thought, as the watchful goddess would immediately detect it, sending him into an eternal sleep if he dared to test his luck.